Hi there. I have been MIA for about a week because I haven't had much new to report. After my last post where I told everything that has happened, I have been having a hard time. I know that many of you told me that I needed to get out of this house with kids ASAP (where I am still living with potential perpetrator - their father and my husband). I do understand that and wish that it was that easy. I wish I KNEW that something happened. I wish that I had someone who has witnessed children and husband and everything that has happened to help me make these hard, hard decisions. Living with this man is confusing to say the least because the kids adore him and he's a pretty great dad (barring the fact that he possibly molested our 2 youngest) and he just seems like the last person to do something like this (well, except for 2 past rape charges that were dropped way before I met him). Oh man! I know if I were to read this and my story I posted, I would be like come on woman! Open your eyes - something isn't right! I get that. I totally and completely believe what my kids said, but that's the problem, the disclosures were vague by my daughter and my 3 year old said he was kidding after he said what he said. I do understand that happens. It's so hard living with him as it gives him more chance to confuse and manipulate. I WISH so badly that I was able to pack up and move the kids out now. After the forensic interviews where nothing was disclosed, and after they let kids and husband back in same house and dissolved safety plan, I'm left with a really messed up situation. I have already talked to an attorney (a non profit one as I have no available funds) who suggested that until I can prove something happened with kids, he will get partial custody where we live. And he would fight like hell to get it. He has the funds for great attorney (he already has one). He has tons of character witnesses who would testify to what a wonderful person and father he is. The attorney told me that none of his past sexual stuff would matter as he's done nothing since our children were born. My kids are so happy in their home and the only place I could move us all (also have a 14 year old son) is my moms very tiny house a town over. I feel like to go through with all of that and uproot my kids and their school without knowing 100% that something happened and without having the proof I need to get 100% custody would possibly be putting my children in more of a situation than they are at present. And God forbid nothing happened, and this is all in my head, then I've really messed things up. So while I know it seems so easy and clear as to what I should do, I'm still having a hard time. I have slept with my kids and one night when daughter wouldn't sleep in my room (where the 3 year old and I sleep - father is upstairs - long story) I made a pallet on her floor and had a slumber party. I have taken them EVERYWHERE. Have been so vigilant since this all has happened. So it's not as if I don't think husband did anything and because kids didn't disclose anything in 1st forensic interviews I am relaxing one bit on being a protective mommy. Thankfully I'm a stay at home mother, so I am able to be with kids all the time). Has anyone had someone SO charming and a great dad and absolutely loved by his children turn out to be a molester? I still am having hard time wrapping head around it. My only hope is that they disclose something with forensic psychologist tomorrow (3 year old) and Wednesday (6 year old). I have told this therapist everything and even printed out my story that I posted here. If you pray, some prayers for truth to be revealed in the next couple of days would be appreciated. Armed with that, I will have no problem going through with divorce, knowing he won't have unsupervised access to them. I still have doubts though. Back and forth I go with he definitely did something to maybe he didn't. I HATE the not knowing, but having a strong feeling, but questioning my feelings! CRAZY making for sure! Thanks for reading. Thoughts and advice are welcome! :-) Just because I haven't taken some of your advice to LEAVE NOW from my previous post, doesn't mean it hasn't been considered! It's just so hard to know what to do and when to do it. I don't want to cause further distress to my family. :-(