Parents Whose children have been sexually abused Community Group
This group is for parents whose children have been sexually abused. We welcome both Mothers and Fathers. Here, we can offer support to one another. We can vent, cry and lift each other up. No condemning or criticizing allowed. We are here for support. We LOVE (((HUGS))) !
Dear All,
My eldest son, who is now 4 (and was violently sexually abused by his beloved grandfather while he was 2 and 3 along with his baby brother (2 years-old) is showing increasing symptoms of PTSD.
He has been in therapy (mainly play therapy) with a specialized therapist since a few weeks after disclosure (since October 2014) until now. He was abused and raped at least once a week, during at least one year.
Even if the nightmares about the attacks have decreased in time (from three per night to two per month, approximately) he is showing other quite disturbing symptoms of PTSD, including hyper arousal and violent, non-intentional acts when faced with any kind of emotions (including positive emotions such as a nice tale read from children's books at home). Anything that excites him makes him start with a series of tics and automatic movements re-enacting the abuse, including movements with his mouth, hands, belly, etc. He also takes his 2 years-old brother (who was also raped by my father in law) and enacts some of the abuses, while my 2 years old participates as in a game (and very knowingly of what is expected from him to do).
My question is: five months after disclosure, is it normal to show those - sometimes increasing - symptoms of PTSD?
Shouldn't those symptoms have decreased with therapy and a 100% safe environment by now? Does it mean that PTSD has become chronic? The therapist has a tendency to downplaying everything for us (especially because we, the parents, are devastated ourselves...)
What to expect? Thanks for any advise!
My eldest son, who is now 4 (and was violently sexually abused by his beloved grandfather while he was 2 and 3 along with his baby brother (2 years-old) is showing increasing symptoms of PTSD.
He has been in therapy (mainly play therapy) with a specialized therapist since a few weeks after disclosure (since October 2014) until now. He was abused and raped at least once a week, during at least one year.
Even if the nightmares about the attacks have decreased in time (from three per night to two per month, approximately) he is showing other quite disturbing symptoms of PTSD, including hyper arousal and violent, non-intentional acts when faced with any kind of emotions (including positive emotions such as a nice tale read from children's books at home). Anything that excites him makes him start with a series of tics and automatic movements re-enacting the abuse, including movements with his mouth, hands, belly, etc. He also takes his 2 years-old brother (who was also raped by my father in law) and enacts some of the abuses, while my 2 years old participates as in a game (and very knowingly of what is expected from him to do).
My question is: five months after disclosure, is it normal to show those - sometimes increasing - symptoms of PTSD?
Shouldn't those symptoms have decreased with therapy and a 100% safe environment by now? Does it mean that PTSD has become chronic? The therapist has a tendency to downplaying everything for us (especially because we, the parents, are devastated ourselves...)
What to expect? Thanks for any advise!
You and your children deserve so much to be really and steadily happy again! And you will be there, soon.
Thank you very much for all the PRACTICAL and wise advise that you have sent in your post. I will do and try everything you are saying. Trying to focus on positive things before falling asleep is something I have been trying to do every night. I also take anecdotes from the day (i.e. one brother sexually acting out with the other) and transform the ugly facts into nice stories, with morals and happy endings (i.e. how it is nice to worship and respect our bodies' and others, how eldest brother saved younger brother from falling into a river, and how younger brother managed to rescue his elder brother from a dark forest, and so on.... ) While my heart is still shouting (silently) "why why why"???????? I try to show myself calm and to share optimistic messages. The therapist has also talked to my eldest and he now seems much closer with baby number two, who will be starting counseling with another child therapist soon. Our family counselors are shocked at discovering the level of perversion of my FIL, who TIED my babies, who made them ACT on each other, and who even dressed them like girls, yes, using my MIL's garments and jewels on my baby boys... is there enough punishment for a person like my FIL? Did you know that while the investigation is going on, he is still wandering around my house and has even dared to send us a box -through a third person - with some things that we had forgotten in his house, even if the judge prohibited him from approaching us? His message seems to be: I am still free, you see? And did you know that the perp used to tell my sons horrible things about me and my husband, like we were about to divorce, that I was old and ugly and... believe: that hi (the perp) was in fact a little boy who was in love with my eldest, who was (according to the perp) a little "princess dressed like a boy". Well, whatever, I wanted to thank you again for your advise. I will re-read it, I am learning so much through this site and through you wise insight. Blessings!
The queen worried that the old tree had hurt her daughter the princess. The king moved his family far away from the forest to keep them safe. The children missed the forest but started to make new friends and the family took many trips together in their new land. One night the princess being very brave told the queen that a scary tree had scared her one night while she was sleeping and had scratched and poked her but when he was done he made up a silly song to make the princess forget she had been scared. The queen of course knew the scary tree was the old tree and she was very proud of her princess for telling. She made sure the princess had the best doctors to take care of the scratches so that she would be all healed up someday. The king and queen loved their children and never stopped trying to keep them safe and always listened to them.
The queen told the lady of the trees what happened and also warned other neighbors about the old tree and some of them believed the queen and didn't let there children near the old tree. But some of them didn't believe the queen and the king banished them from his kingdom but because he was a good king he told them that if they decided later to believe the princess they could return but the old tree was banished forever.