How is it going with any mental evaluations? That’s just so important.

Trying to get him services!!!!! Things move VERY SLOWLY!!!!! I am learning. Thank you for your thoughts; hope all is well with you.

As I sit here an read everyone's comments and stories it helps me get through the day a little easier knowing I'm not the only one struggling. My oldest son was just sentences to 12.5 years he will be 36 when he gets out. I have no support from family, never been close to them. I just have my kids and his two kids for support which is hard cause I have to be the strong one for them. There are days I break down after they go to bed because I don't want them to see me cry. I'm trying hard to be there support. And sometimes it is hard. I feel lost and not sure if I'm handling things the right way. I try to push my emotions away just to push through the day and afraid one day it's going to catch up with me and kill me. If anyone is out there I'm here an always need someone to talk to to help me get through this an help my kids an grandkids get through this.

Hi Li,
I so feel your pain! My son had to withdraw from school in December to begin serving a 2 year sentence in January. He is 22 and has always been a good kid. He made a mistake that is costing him 2 years of his life and will alter his future forever, so I really know how you feel. We have also decided not to tell anyone. There are only a few close family members who know and I think that is the hardest part. That is the reason why I am here. Here, at least I can talk and share and connect with others who REALLY know what I feel. There are days when getting out of bed is a struggle and others when I feel like I can handle this. Talking to him helps and his facility allows video visitation, so we an talk to him several times a week. It is really a double-edged sword, but I really think it helps him. I am sending you a hug from one mom to another in the same boat. We must stay positive for our children because they will need our strength and support to help rebuild their lives when they come home.

You have to share with someone that you can trust. When my ordeal first started, my best friend got in her car and drove 60 miles in the dark to come and be here for me . And her husband had just gotten home from 2 weeks away! She didn't tell him what was wrong, just that I needed her and he was fine with it. For a while, she was the only one I had shared with. Then I shared with my sister, who lives in another state, never had children and I am not very close with. She shared it with my cousin who never shared it with another soul. Fortunately, I also have a local friend that is a former counselor. I talked to her a few times but she is retired and I did not feel right about "using her" friendship. Long story short, I had a death in the family and would have had lots of questions about where my son was so I bit the bullet and shared it with my family. None of them has contacted him but they were kind to me and his daughter. I do think that having this site to come to is helpful and I am going to try to use it more often. I did a positive thing for myself today. I went to my first counseling session. Baby steps! Prayers for all of our sons and their hurting families.

Hi Nola, It really IS hard. You can always share here......My son, too, had to withdraw from school. So hard to release our expectations for our kids. I am sorry for your situation only. We all need to hold each other up. Some days are "okay"; others, not so much. Best to you and your family.

heartbroken-mom, I have shared with more people. We, too, will have events where it'll be hard to explain his absence. Not sure how I will handle that, but I don't feel I can share with certain family members....Any way, Congrats on attending your first counseling session; I hope it brings comfort and peace. Baby steps!