My son has been locked up since he was 17, he's 22 now. He wont get out until hes 37. While it's really hard some days most of the time I manage to get through the day. I reflect on the good times when he was home a lot. I pray daily.
For me personally I don't hide the fact that he's in prison. For 1 it actually makes it easier for me to talk about it. But I also don't have anything to be afraid or ashamed of. I didn't commit the crime, and he'll be the first one to tell you that his choices are in no way a reflection of my parenting. He made the poor choices and didn't think about how it effects his whole family. I know in my heart he's a good man, and I ALWAYS speak of him with the pride and love I feel. I can't change the facts nor circumstances so I refuse to hide them. For me it helps. Not everyone feels that way. I do worry about something happening to me before he gets out, but all I can do is hope nothing does. I'll pray for you and yours. This is a hard journey.

Thank you so much. This is all so new; just learning to navigate this journey. Thank you for your kind and wise words.

We understand. We are older parents too and our 18 year old son will probably be sentenced to life. We trust Jesus to take care of him and us. We pray constantly for his protection and that this experience will lead him to Jesus. God loves him even more than we do...hard to imagine. Praying he will someday realize it and be free on the inside even if he can't be free on the outside. Praying for peace for you and protection for your son.

Katmama514, I so agree with the fact that we can't change anything and have to live our lives. A friend of mine whose son is in for life and has been there for 15 years, that a counselor asked her if she was going to serve her son's life sentence with him. She realized that she also had herself, her husband and another son that needed her too. Wise words that have helped us.

Thank you ladies, I am praying for you all. Just got a few panicked calls/voicemails from my son. He says he's losing it. I don't know how I can do this: I can't breathe; I may have to tell some family members. Am praying every day....

I don't know if I can handle this. I don't know if he can handle this.

That is how I feel but the sun comes up each day. We are going to Supreme to try n get bail so I will need to tell some people as we require references ... I am sick at the thought

Li42410,
You have to talk to people you can trust. It would be helpful to get some counseling as well. My husband and I have and it has helped. We have also connected with other families in the area that are going through the same things. If you don't tell anyone, you can't network with people who will help.
Do you have a church body that will support you? If not, find one that will. If you need help in doing so, please let me know and I will do what I can to help.
It is not your mistake or crime...it is his. You shouldn't feel embarrassed to ask for help. If people don't want to help, they either can't handle it or don't care. Find people who do. My "prison moms" that I have met in the last couple months have been amazing support. The next time your son calls, pray with him on the phone...even if he doesn't believe, Jesus is still very fond of him and loves him dearly. Pray for peace, strength, protection and people who will support him where he is. Tell him to contact a chaplain, get a Bible...all of these things should be available to him.
We are unable to have control of any of this. Hard for moms. But God is in control even when it doesn't look like it. He loves our kids more than we do.
Praying for you all.

FaithGraceHopeJoy......I am going to cry. Thank you for your warm words (like a cherished, warm blanket). I want to reread this every day when I wake up, just so I can get through the day.

I did tell 3 friends (but not my Mom ~ she's 85 and my Dad died recently, so I don't want to add to her burden right now). I am Jewish. HOWEVER, my husband and I WILL be scheduling counseling with my friend's Pastor.

I am trying to accept that it is his crime and his actions that got him where he is now. Part of it was stupidity (he's young) and part of it may be some kind of mental illness. I just don't know how he could have though what he was doing was okay. I am reading spiritual books and trying meditation (ha! THAT'S really not working for me, LOL). I've sent my kid spiritual books from Amazon, but I do not know if he has received them yet.

Hard for us Moms, for sure. I had always thought of myself as a strong woman, but now I am not so sure. I guess I'll need to wallow for a day or two more and then pick myself up. I am trying to accept that God is in control, and that maybe something good can come out of this. All it feels like at the moment is that he threw away his life, his plans, his college education, his house near campus with his friends. It's the death of his and my dreams for him that hurts so bad. Praying for all of us.

Yes my Sister. All of these GREAT STRONG women are correct. We get through this by the grace of God. My son is facing lofe as well and has accepted Jesus as his personal savior. He was already baptized in Jesus Name and is now seeking the Holy Ghost. Yes pray with him read him a scripture daily. Challenge hom to remember them. Rewmber the Word will wash him white as snow and Jesus already died for our sins and he is forgiven. If you need to chat. Email me: Monikka45@aol.com

Li42410,
My heart aches for you. I truly have bad days and days I feel like I can’t do this any more! Yesterday was one of those days...it was our son’s “coming home” day. 11 years ago he came to live with us as an emergency foster placement. It was the day he walked into our home and our hearts. Jan. 4, 10 years ago, was his adoption day. I struggle with the faxt that he may never enter our door again. I keep realeasing him to Jesus and know that God loves him so much. You can email me anytime (pamgt@yahoo.com) I would love to be there for you as a shoulder to cry on and a friend to pray with and for you. I have a notebook that I pray over with my friends’ sons mug shots. I pray for them, their protection, their hearts and for the families. I have also written to the boys. I have gotten some of the nicest letters back. For reading material, I have really gleaned so much support from Carol Kent. Her son is in for life. God is doing such good things in his life and their family’s life. So glad you are talking to people. One more thought...Jesus is Jewish too.

The wink and heart didn’t show up... love to you my friend. :)

Thank you, my friend. Hugs and healing thoughts to you too. Am leaving in about two hours for the long drive to visit my son (who was adopted by us, as well). We must remain strong; what other choice do we have?

I will email you after I get home. xoxo

Praying you have a safe trip and it is a positive time for you all. We haven’t had a visit yet...over 5 months since arrest...only one phone call New Year’s Day. Interesting that both our boys are adopted. Can’t wait to hear from you.

Bit the bullet and asked for a reference and to do so I had to show them the fact sheets. Pleasantly surprised by support rather than judgement .... eased the knotted stomach for a brief period.

Good for you!! We have found that more people are supportive. Praying all goes well and you can continue to get the support you need.