Hello Kelly,
My name is Lynda, My Son just turned 19 and was arrested a few days later. everything you wrote here is exactly the way I feel, I cant sleep at night, I eat way too much. I have panic attacks that no one knows about.
even though my sod did something totally different. My son is a good boy, But he was lead to believe a lie. even when he found out the truth,,,, he still continued. I sure hope to hear back from you . you sound like you have a plan to ease the pain a little.

Hi Linda,
Sorry i did not reply sooner. i have not been on this website since my last post and i did not get any notification.
Thank you for replying to my post. Sorry to hear you are going through the same. I am over the initial shock I think. My son should be coming home in June so he still has three months to go. I miss him terribly and cannot to have him home so he continue with his life.
I dont really have a plan as such. I am kind of on hold he comes out really. I try to remain positive.
How are things for you? Is your son still in prison? Write back if you can,
Take care,
Kelly

Hi Kelly, welcome! I am still struggling with lots of emotions over my son going to prison. He went in November, and I feel guilt for going on with every day life as I know he can't do the things we can. I worry every day about his safety, his mental health, etc... I know a crime was committed, but it was a car accident and 20 years is a long time for someone who served his country, was going through the processes of joining both the police dept and FBI. His life's dream shattered in one moment.

Hello,
Sorry Lynda for spelling your name wrong.
Thank you Lori, sorry to hear your son got so long. That is a very long time for an accident you are right. I hope he gets out a lot sooner. My son only got 2 and a half years and thats bad enough. I know he hasnt died or anything (as people keep telling me) and he will be out soon but it is still not what I wanted for my son. I feel so sorry for you and your son. It must have been such a shock when it all happened. I hope you have had a lot of support. if you are anything like me you do all your crying alone. I dont think anyone understands what we are going through. I will see my son soon but I still get times where I look at my sons pics when he was little and it breaks my heart.
Take care xx

Hi Kelly,

I am so sorry for your pain. I have been there and understand your torment. I only have a moment to write this but I promise I will write more shortly! You are not alone!!!

Hello,
That would be lovely to hear from you!
It has been a tough time. Hopefully a steep learning curve for us.
Thank you x

I will never understand locking a 18 year old up on a first felony. Our criminal justice system is crazy. My son was 19. I cannot make up excuses for him. I had been parenting him (high touch), since the 9th grade and finally him and his buddies got caught. I am just glad no one was killed or injured with the nonsense these boys were up to out there in them streets. I feel your pain and I too walk around breaking down all the time. My wish for you is your boy will come home changed for the better by this experience, go on and do something great with his life. Until then we fight and believe for our kids, because that is all we ever know. Be encouraged. You are not alone.

My son went through the same thing and I tried to keep him accountable. That he had no one else to blame but himself for the choices he made. Im not saying that you shouldn't going to see him or not talk to him or send him money if you can. I would always let him know that you are always in his corner.
But in my humble opinion someone has to keep him and his choices real.
I also have done many things like call he police on him set clear and strong boundaries of my expectations. I even put my house up foe collateral so he could be on house arrest for a year instead of going to jail. There is no right or wrong just with what you can personally live with. My son has a chance for 8 to 10 years and could apply for bail before trial. My heard did back flips at first. God had given us some time with him b fore he went away. The hardest thing to date was telling him I would not do it at this point in time. Not because I didn't love him but I loved him enough to support him in learning that you cant commit acts like he did and then have no consequences. I told him to earn my trust and by this I mean no fighting or other poor choices. And maybe just maybe we could talk about this in 5 or 6 months.