Hi broken ,I'm so sad for you ,your heart must be broken ,I think you will find the support you need here , I was crazy upset .then I found this website ,I think it actually saved me from depression , I didn't know anything , or understand anything , I went to counslers ,but they were of no help , my son is in federal prison for c.p , for 11 more years .and yes I was shocked beyond belief ,because he was the son that did everything right .not better then anyone he just never broke a rule ,not a parking ticket ,we our family felt like someone hit us on the back of the head with a bat , so I floundered , yes I was and still am very angry at home ,for ruining his life ,his wife and daughter, and us ,but he is being punished severely by being in prison ,and by himself , he hates himself ,and I believe he was addicted to the Internet ,but that being said ,he is my son and I love him with all of my heart , I write him often and he calls me , so that being said , if your son gets a job and tries to concentrate on it and excercizes ,that would be good , please tell him to be humble ,don't fight ,it will get worse if he does , quiet is good , read .read . I wish you love and understanding ,to your son too ! Susie

it is a lonely journey! I need somewhere to express my sadness. I feel like i am incased in concrete most days and cannot move. I resent facebook and all of it's perfect people, I want to shout to the world.. I AM DYING! but i can't becuase my son needs me! how do we survive this horror???? it's up one day and down so low the next. My son is young and i just want him safe. prison is not safe! i am scared all the time... i am so sad! i hate being so sad! i cannot stop the sadness! how do i get from Thursday to Friday without crying? My son is scared and has lost so much weight.. it just makes me sick. I am just venting now and not making sense! thank you so much for the response Susie...(im not sure what c.p. is) I cannot sleep and tonight I just opened his first handwritten letter to us, my heart is hurting. no one in my life (besides my husband and daughters has a clue what this is like!) i have friends who tell me "he needs to fight to be strong in there!" what do these people know!!! he wants to stay out of trouble and he is not a fighter!!! I am rambling right now and so thrilled for your response! I just mailed him 5 books! he wants books!!! Rhonda

HI Broken my heart breaks for you because I too know this nightmare I've been living it off and on for 18 years now my 36 year old son went to prison at 18 currently he is serving 12 years plus I cry I scream and ask God why!!! I pray you find the support and most of all hope to help you through all this

Hi everyone. I am glad I found this group. You are not alone. My 27 yr old son got incarcerated for 75 days for violating probation. He has a wife and 3 young boys. I know it don't seem like much time, but it has devastated me. I have a hard time living my daily life. I hold on to my phone, scared I will miss his call. I am edgy with the rest of my family. No one knows why I feel like this. They say " it is probably good for him"". But it is not there son. He calls me up saying he can't take it there. I go to see him. It is a video monitor. So can't even see him in real life. I just feel Iike crying all the time. My days are long, counting the days until he gets out. But I see I am not alone and feel for each of you

This is not a place I want to be.. i do not want to be searching websites for "parents of incarcerated children" I am so sorry each of you ladies are in this boat! i hate this friggen boat!!! i want to be on a cruise ship living the dream. But your reality is mine... this is a true nightmare. 18 years, Ladydime, bless your heart. Darla.. i have made it ever so clear to my people.... DO NOT PREACH TO ME! My son is struggling in the diagnosic part of it (just the beginning process) and he is doing everything he can NOT to fight in there, he wants to do his time and come home as soon as he can.. but there are so many men in there that just live this life and want to fight over phones and HONEYBUNS!! he is scared and confused. I cannot help him, i cannot do this for him. i pray, i pray hard!!!! I need people like you to get thru this! no one in my life can even begin to understand. My best friend keeps telling me "he might have to fight for himself" what the hell does she know???? if he fights he gets put in ad seg and then gets written up, that all goes against him. ugh these people just dont get it. this isnt' some school yard fight either. Darla.. hang on, you can do anything for 75 days!!!!! i am looking at 4 years.. you can do this!!! be strong!

I have been searching and searching for a group that would pull together the strenghth and support for parents of children entering the prison system. I say children because mine is 20 yrs young. He just was sentenced on February 3 2017 to 7 years in prison. He has been fighting his case for 2 1/2 years now . There was a car accident in August of 2014 where my son's car spun out of control on a rainy night & hit a tree which killed his friend who was sitting in the passenger seat. My son was scared and ran. His charges are vehicular manslaughter with gross negligence and inhancements that also included a 5 year flat sentence because he ran .He was facing 13 yrs. He pled to 7. As a parent our lives are shattered the minute something like this happens and when our children are facing going to prison . I feel just like a parent shared earlier in this group "like my life, body, emotions, my whole being is encased in concrete cement" with no room to move, breathe, or even cry. I feel my son's emotions even from afar. I hurt when he hurts, yet he always remains strong and I think he does this for me to remain strong. We both have a motto that we have lived by since this, we close each letter we write to one another with "Never Ever Give Up!!!" I encourage all the parents out there going through difficult times as well to also remember and remind themselves to Never Ever Give Up !!! I hope this can help anyone of you struggling. If there are any comments or support to help me as a mother of a 20 yr. old son heading to state prison, I would embrace all of them with open arms....Thank you and God bless

20 years young. Absolutely... There should be a separate prison for under 25 or something. Kids that have messed up. I'm scared. My son is an addict. He almost had it, got together with a old friend that still does stuff and got a drunk driving. Now what?? I'm devastated..

My son is 19. Such a young person, entering prison with grown up men who have spent years in the system. My son was charged with involuntary manslaughter after being at a party where a girl overdosed and died, he was charged with failure to call 911 in time. There were 7 kids there, they all had phones! My son was the only "adult" male at the party. My son had never even opened a checking account, he wasn't an adult! My son had turned 17 just 3 months before this party, in the state we lived, he was an adult at 17. We plead to 8 years, the prosecutor wanted 15 years as he is running on the ticket of "cleaning up this town" I will spend the rest of my life questioning the plea we accepted. I am sick that my son had to say he was guilty of not calling for her when this girl was dying! they did call, the kids tried to help this girl, but unfortunatley, they were doing the same drugs and were not in their right mind, nor were they adult enough to know what was happening to her. My son calls me from a place where he cannot sleep, eat or relax. He wants to cry but he isn't allowed to, and cannot trust anyone. It took 2 years for this to come to an end, my son has been clean since that awful night. @nevergiveup.. you are not alone! how will we get our boys through this nightmare!!!!!! @lmom..i am devasted with you, i am sad and miss my son. you are not alone!

I feel for all of you because we are all fighting the same battle, feeling the same hurt, breathing in the same pain. My son is facing life. When I stop to dwell on that thought I don't even know how to breathe. I miss him so much. He is 24 years young and has been in a year already awaiting trial. I may never see him again outside the prison walls, never share another holiday or another meal together. I can't dwell on it. If I did it would crush my heart and crush my soul. I need to be strong for him, for my other children, for myself... Don't get me wrong, there are moments...there will always be moments.
I choose to stay positive. I breathe in hope and breathe out the pain. I fill myself with love. Because at the end of the day I love him regardless of his actions. When we talk he tells me about his days: the classes he takes, the exercises he did that day, the books he's reading, the drawings he is working on, the crossword he finished.... and it is enough. I'm happy that he finds ways to fill his days, that he has made a few friends and they work out together, that he got to watch a movie and enjoy some popcorn, that I can keep his phone account funded so he can call anytime. It is all I have left of him, and I have to cherish it, so it is enough. Stay in contact, let them know you are there. Send books, get a magazine subscription, write letters, send cards and photos if you can. For most inmates getting mail is the highlight of their day.
Sending love and light to all of you <3

Thank you for sharing your heart, SolitaryMomma. Your words ring so true. I love that you said, "Breathe in hope, breathe out pain." Wonderful advise. Thanks.

I'm glad my friend found this for me... My son is 19 and facing a year...not long compared to some of yours but his confess with a life sentence of forever having to register all because he was 6 months too old to be with this young lady. If we don't take the plea they are pushing for 10 years.
I'm being told we shouldn't try to get him kept in the county jail that prison us a better system... I don't know what to do I just want to support my baby in anyway possible and get him the safest situation I can

Sparkles17 a year is a long time, dont feel guilty that you aren't walking in my shoes, looking at 4 and praying for 2. I am finding my way thru this nightmare completely blind but i do think there are more things for your son to do in prison instead of sitting in county jail for a year. This is day 52 for us, my son spent 2 weeks in county and then got moved to a diagnostic correctional center, until they decide where he will finish his time. Since he has been moved to the diagnostic part of the prison process, we have been able to mail him cards, emails every single day and pictures. We will soon get contact visits with him. My son has not been outside in 52 days. Until he is in his assigned facility, he will not get to out side. There was no outside time whie he was in county. There was a guy who was in county with him that had not been outside for 2 years... that would be incredibly rough. I think time in county moves like molasses. You will be a wonderful support for him. He will call you more then anyone else, he will write you and he will lean on you when he is having bad days.. he will also call you first to tell you ANYTHING good that is happening! "breath in hope, breathe out pain" i love that!!! thank you SolitaryMomma

My son is 19 and about to go inside. 19? he is running around here like it is no big deal. I am worried, concerned, and fearful. He goes on the 15th. Believing for comfort and assurances for you that your son is alright, covered, and protected.

There is no reason for any of us to judge each other here. We are here because things don't go as we planned. Unfortunately, those we love can make heartbreaking decisions to hurt themselves and those they love.

Reading these posts... my heart breaks for each and every one of you. ❤
I am so scared...