Parents of estranged adult children Community Group
One or more of our adult children walked out of our lives and never looked back.
my husband's brother is in the advanced stages of huntington's disease, a devastating genetic disorder which comes down their mother's line. on november 4th HDSA is sponsoring a "hope walk" to support research, etc. the city is approximately half way between his brother's house and our house. both family branches have rented vacation homes in that city with plans to make the event a weekend family reunion. of course my eldest/estranged son (43) is invited and said he would come, maybe only because he is currently working hubs for more money. he has been homeless for around 2 years and will probably be staying in our vacation rental for the weekend.
i'm driving myself crazier with the anticipation.
is it wicked of me to wonder if i should encourage hubs to give him enough money to fill his crack pipe a day or so before the reunion. a full crack pipe pretty much gaurantees a no show. my anxiety over exposing my 3 orphans (ages 10, 7 and 4) to his f-word wisdom is immense. meet your funny uncle, children.
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It's been some time since my last post...sorry. I've been going through a challenging time with the sale of my home, purchase of a condo and my adult asperger son that lives with me. I've had days where I couldn't get out of bed, days where I stayed in my pj's and days where all I managed to do was eat, drink fluids and take care of my Sweet Mia kitty. Sweet Mia came to me from a shelter about...
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If I come to DS and it won't do anything when I click "Login", I go to a post, click and then click "Leave a Reply". Then it will let me log in.Of course, sometimes DS just goes to "Error 504". Then I can't log in.
You say probably will stay with you but now is the time to set strong boundaries. Instead of having this angst and stress, just set the boundary and then enforce it. BUT, your husband has to agree with you to really make this stick. And that is sometimes the hard part with my husband. He vacillates.
The little kids deserve not to deal with an unstable and addicted person like this. Heck, you deserve not to deal with this nonsense. You didn't cause it and you can't cure it! No wonder you feel anxious and upset.
I used to feel anxious and scared when my drug & alcohol using step son would come to visit. He was estranged for 5 years and when he needed something, he would come back around. My husband has always been kind of desperate to have this son love him and to be "normal". We finally banned him as a house guest (we didn't tell him, we just agreed that he was more trouble than the visit was worth due to past issues at our house). We got rid of our guest room and turned it into an exercise room. He is no longer estranged but still an alcoholic and obviously smoking weed which is legal in his state. He and his lover can go smoke weed and get wasted in a hotel room which we pay for. That might be what you have to do, pay for his hotel room.
A consequence of doing crack or other obnoxious things is no one wants you staying with them. Be real about it. Let him face his consequences. Stay strong.
This is your inner wisdom telling you to rethink things, thus the anticipation and anxiety.
my son lives on the streets of the city sponsoring the hope walk. if harsher boundaries are needed, i will probably just tell him to "go home." i actually listed him on the rental reservation. it is a "hope walk," after all. hope healing happens here.
prayers ongoing that the gk's continue to thrive in safety. 4 years into the first parenting career, i thought i was the perfect mom. i had read all the books, after all. i knew it all.
introducing them to their funny uncle is a harsh reminder of how that first parenting career turned out, even with all the right books.
Hugs and Prayers For All and To the World At Large <3