Parents of Children with ADHD Support Group
This community is designed as an open forum where the parents and guardians of children with ADHD (Attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder) can give and receive support, as well as discuss ideas, techniques, concerns, surprises, and challenges they may face with their children.
SpiderMom
Hi everyone,
Just wondering if anyone has successfully used a reward/incentive program for proper behaviour in school and at home.
My son is 13. He has ADHD and a LD, and really, really, really hates school. Part of it could be his age.. but I know most of it is because he struggles so much.
After a very challenging year last year, I decided that this year, I would reward him at the end of the week for good behaviour, both at home and at school. I used to do charts for him when he was younger, where he would earn stickers for things, and when he reached a certain number he would get to pick a reward. It worked well for him. He's very rewards-driven.
Now that he's older, I am just tying it into his allowance. So basically if he does his chores at home, and if he tries his best to complete his work in school, then he'll get his allowance at the end of the week. The problem I am running into though is that he's often very good at home and not so good at school. Or he'll do GREAT with some subjects at school (some of his teachers do rewards programs in their classes so he rocks those!) , and then other classes he's not trying at all and I'm getting phone calls from the teachers.
So I'm torn on how to make this work.. I find myself saying "Well, you did really well in Math, but Science there was no effort.. so you can't have your allowance." Which isn't fair, because he did do so well at Math, and I'm trying to reward for good behaviour.. yet he's being punished in some ways, so it's not helping us at all. Anyone have any suggestions on how to make this work?
Just wondering if anyone has successfully used a reward/incentive program for proper behaviour in school and at home.
My son is 13. He has ADHD and a LD, and really, really, really hates school. Part of it could be his age.. but I know most of it is because he struggles so much.
After a very challenging year last year, I decided that this year, I would reward him at the end of the week for good behaviour, both at home and at school. I used to do charts for him when he was younger, where he would earn stickers for things, and when he reached a certain number he would get to pick a reward. It worked well for him. He's very rewards-driven.
Now that he's older, I am just tying it into his allowance. So basically if he does his chores at home, and if he tries his best to complete his work in school, then he'll get his allowance at the end of the week. The problem I am running into though is that he's often very good at home and not so good at school. Or he'll do GREAT with some subjects at school (some of his teachers do rewards programs in their classes so he rocks those!) , and then other classes he's not trying at all and I'm getting phone calls from the teachers.
So I'm torn on how to make this work.. I find myself saying "Well, you did really well in Math, but Science there was no effort.. so you can't have your allowance." Which isn't fair, because he did do so well at Math, and I'm trying to reward for good behaviour.. yet he's being punished in some ways, so it's not helping us at all. Anyone have any suggestions on how to make this work?
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Is your son in a non-traditional school setting? I did transfer my son last year to a school offering an Intensive Support Program.. seems to help a little but not a significant amount. High School next year is concerning me a bit, especially if we can't get a handle on this issue now.
Appreciate your suggestions.. hopefully I can get all of his teachers on board with me and we can make this work on a daily basis. :)
and as an FYI its not unusual for children with ADHD to do well in math...it seems to be one of there gifts but sometimes with other subjects holding their attention is difficult becasue they just get board especially during the time between lecuture and assignment.