it has been awhile since i have been here.....and i pray for each and everyone of us who has to deal, and has enabled a child with an addiction. My faith has also helped me brave the many storms of my son's addiction....he came out of rehab the little boy i had remembered over a year ago, but life out in the real world has started to push him back to old habits with the same old friends. Guess we just have to get stronger resolve to not give in to them, and start enabling again....i have been thru the classes for enabling family members but i think i need to refresh myself. Thank you all for being here...together we can be strong.

Hi Ittyshell! Yes - just like they need to be in meetings and look at recovery as a life long process - we do too. As a person who could not feel OK unless my kids were "happy" I will always have to work on finding new ways to feel OK since my son's happiness is not and should not be my job. I am not there yet and have not felt "OK" in a while. But any happiness my son has now is going to be created by his actions, not mine. Now I have to find new ways to feel like all is right with the world and I deserve to be happy. Long road...

It is a long road with many twists and turns......

Long road but worth pursuing

My big problem now is my younger son who has major emotional problems. My older son lives in another state in a sober house, and seems well. I think I've learned to let go of his issues, but with my younger one it seems impossible. I have to coordinate his treatment. I have to live with him. He is so dependent, but we're working on it. I guess I could try to send him to a group home, but that would absolutely kill me. I have decided to get my own counselor. Hopefully that will help me cope.

I think the idea of getting a counselor for yourself is a great idea.

There are times it is very difficult for me to cope with the ongoingness of my son's disease.
I see NO PROGRESS towards self-care, recovery, etc.

I can only focus on my own recovery.

Blessings.

Hi, I am new to your group. I have a 26 year old son who has been on drugs since he has been 15. Yesterday we told him he could no longer be part of this family until he gets his life in order. He has rejected every effort of help we tried to get him. It broke my heart but my husband and I can't deal with this any longer.

It is so hard to stay strong so if you need time to fall apart and mourn the loss of the life you thought you had take it. But then get back to living again. You have others who love you and deserve to have you in their life too! I have 4 kids and the one who is the addict tried to steal me away from the rest of our family and for awhile he did, but one day I woke up and said no he and his addiction are not going to win. I have a life and just because he chose to do things against everything he was ever taught and then got sick with addiction my other kids still needed and deserved a happy healthy mom and I was not letting his addiction take that away from them!
Go to meetings and stay on this site
Families & Friends of addicts is awesome support group on this site and it has helped me so much! Go find that one and read all the past posts, they are very helpful.
We all want to help so keep posting but do not give in and do not give up hope. If you believe in him he will have a much stronger chance of recovery!
Hugs to you!