Other relationships are important too, finding the balance is important. If your son is spoiled by your love and attention then the expectations for his father are not realistic.

If his father is always putting him last then the man needs a friend to guide him & I doubt that you are the right one for the job. I've seen similar issues with my friends and we do try to be honest with each other and dont hold our tongues if we think we can help the parent / child relationship (within reason). There's been several times that I've gone over to "Mark's" house to set him straight, but since his new girlfriend came into the picture I sometimes hear his kids (as they come over to play) comment how they do not like seeing their father anymore. He refuses to listen to his friends, instead he allows his girlfriend to monopolize, and he is going to pay the price ... I sadly think that there is nothing else we can do either.

i have the same problem... i have 3 kids 9,7,4...and i always and so does my Husband put our kids first..mu Ex on the other hand always puts his girlfriend first he has even put his girlfriends kids first...i understand that sometimes things come up but not always....i can totally empathize with you. it is not fair to the kids to feel second best. the thing that has always worked for me was to have my kids tell their dad how it makes them feel. most times he does not care but there is always that chance that it might make him think twice!

I am glad to see that other people agree. My kids are 9,8,3, and 1. My two oldest kids thinks the same way. But the sad part is that their dad thinks its okay to put kTids second and tells them that he has to make everyone happy. They have tried over and over on telling him this and doesn't seem to work. So now we are all going to sit down and the kids are going to tell him that we don't like this we need to change things around to make us happy.