maybe that was the easy way out for the girl's mother to explain a trip to the gyn. I can't imagine anyone at that age needing to go but you never know with some parents. I went at the age of 13 due to problems and was scared to death.

If you have an open relationship with your daughter you shouldn't have to worry about finding out if she is a virgin, she should be able to tell you.

I am more worried about my daughters friend, my daughter and I have a very open relationship. She is very comfortable talking to me. In fact I think she is more comfortable then I am.. from what my daughter has told me this friends dad seems very abusive and over protective.

I think thats awful and feel very bad for that poor girl if in fact thats what they're doing to her.

Do you know anything about the culture of the other girl's parents? If they are long-time north american caucasian then this is very strenge behaviour. If they are immigrants from a "Taliban" ruled country then the parents' vision could be very different from our own. Knowing the family history in this case could help your understanding.

I don't believe in introducing our children to many things that other children have to go through; however, once they are introduced I feel that they trust they will get an honest answer from me. At least you can comfort your daughter that you do not believe in putting her through this type of stress.

If you are worried about the other girl's emotions, then the school principal is likely a good resource for this age group.

i cant imagine a girl going to the gyn at an early age unless she is active, the mom must be paranoid or has some trust issues. i would be traumatized to undress for a doctor and look at me down there at that age.the only thing ive heard is girls who ahead and fast will do oral or hand jobs so they will still be virgins. but you would need to know your daughter and her friends or know where she is at all times.my mom was very overprotective kept me close but also ruined most of my friendship due to fear i would become pregnant i applaud her now but feel i missed out on so much. i would worry more later like around 15. teach your kids about std's that kinda worse than getting pregnant.we cant always be with them but if you have an open realtionship they should be ok.

Be honest with your daughter that this isn't routine so she won't be concerned you will take her in for this some day. Talk to your pediatrician in the presence of your daugter about when it will be time for her to go to a Gyno. (Make sure she knows about the monthly gift first though!)

On a different note:
Would you feel totally uncomfortable talking to the friends mom? Maybe there is something going on (an uncle or babysitter or possibly even dad) and maybe the girl was reaching out. It is possible both mom and the daughter can use some support.
It could be tricky to approach this, but if you go to the mom and tell her about the conversation you had with your daughter and just let her know you were both confused and concerned but you do not want to invade their privacy she might just open up. She might shut down, but this is where you can just let her know that your daughter's friends are important to you and you are always there if she needs to talk or vent or anything. Mom's need other mom's to talk to, and your girls will go through a lot together- you might as well start talking now!