Parenting Toddlers (1-3) Support Group

This community is focused on the joys, challenges and concerns faced by parents of toddlers (1 to 3 year olds). The major areas of child development include: physical development, perception and sensory development, communication and language development, cognitive development, emotional development and social development. Join to share your stories and get advice.

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joleneLS 12/21/2011

We started training Marlow at 25 months. Threw out all the diapers and went hardcore. She had one accident in public the second day. Other then that she had accidents at home. In the last month and a half (she is 28 months now) she has had maybe three accidents...all at home.

For the last three days she has had nothing but accidents! She pees at home, she poops in her kushie(she wears it naptime and bedtime but she never usually poops then so she must be waiting for it) she even peed today while we were at the library. Delightfully, she peed while I was holding her. Grrrrrrr.

I'm trying as hard as I can not to get mad at her. Okay, no thats not true, I'm devestated and angry, but I'm trying not to let her see. But it's starting to get harder and harder. She pees in her pants at least four times a day now. And as soon as she is done she says 'mommy, thats bad, you pee in the potty, not on the floor. I'm a big girl and use the big girl potty' so she is WELL aware what she is doing is wrong.

Any insights? Advice? I try not to make a big deal out of it when it does happen, just strip her, set her on the potty, then redress her...but I think she can feel the tension.

deleted_user 12/21/2011

Sounds like you are making it too easy for her to do it the wrong way. From your post, when she makes a mistake, you seem to be the one cleaning up after her. For me, with my twins, my big turning point in the whole potty training thing was when I decided that if you make the mistake - you clean it up. This is as true for poop as it is for being wet. My girls now know to take their own wet clothes off, get dressed in new clothes, rinse out their dirty ones in the sink and wipe up the floor and any other areas they messed up. If they pooped, then they dump the poop out in the toilet and then rinse the remainder out in the sink (we do help with wiping their behinds up though since they aren't very good at that part yet). Each time we explain that you don't poop/tinkle in the panties, you go to the potty instead. my girls are having fewer and fewer incidents now and we're really excited.

Hope this helps for you and good luck on getting your girl back on track.

AshleyandLiam 12/21/2011

the best advise i have is to have her clean it up herself....it may take longer but she will understand that she is making a mess she needs to clean it up...especially if she knows what she is doing is wrong...and i have seen several kids do this kind of behavior before it happens but usually passes and even though its rough maybe letting her see that it frustrates you when she does those accidents may be a good idea too...sometimes kids need to see that their actions frustrate adults to help them learn what is ok....

joleneLS 12/21/2011

I guess I should elaborate more :). When she pees I help her out of her clothes..they stick to her and she has problems...she puts them in the dirty laundry. We sit, then we both wipe. She goes and gets new clothes and together we put them on. She has almost mastered socks but not pants. She rarely pees enough to even get it on the floor. I think she cuts it off once its soaked her pants...but when she has we both clean it...as she never manages to do it not on carpet (sigh)but she ENJOYS cleaning. My daughter puts away her own laundry, she.vaccuums after me, she dusts, she organizes her toys into like buckets. Sopping up pee is heaven to her. Im back to the stage where Im constantly taking her to the washroom and making her try!

deleted_user 12/21/2011

It sounds to me like you're doing what you can. Potty training my son was a complete nightmare for me. He's 5 and still will occasionally get some #2 in his underwear when he's not paying attention. They don't tell you this but potty training can really last a few years into elementary school. Not in the sense of the rigorous training that you go through in the 2's and 3's. But bigger kids have accidents too! She's still very small and it is very common for kids to regress a little bit and be able to recover just fine. Try not to freak out, she's just being 2. :) I'd keep doing what you're doing. I remember getting angry and thinking my son would never be potty trained, but he's just fine now. I've come to the realization now, as a mother of 3, that they don't tell you when you have your first child just how much your life is going to center around potty habits, lol.

deleted_user 12/21/2011

My potty training "method" isn't for everyone - I waited until they did it on their own. My oldest son was 37 months (at that point I admit, I was questioning my "method"), my middle son was 30 months, and my youngest son was 24 months - as you can see, my "method" looked genius with my youngest, crazy with oldest, and decent with my middle child so you never can tell when they are going to train, no matter what path you take. If you are feeling stressed and tense, it might be time to let it go, slap a diaper on her, and just relax again. If you decide to wait, you haven't lost a battle, and she WILL train in time. Also, contrary to what some might say, potty training at a young age is no reflection of your parenting skills. This is just an early lesson that despite our BEST efforts, sometimes our kids are going to do it their way no matter what. Sometimes their way makes us look good, and sometimes their way makes us look inept, lol!

joleneLS 12/21/2011

She won't wear a diaper. When we started three months ago we threw all the diapers into a garbage bag and told her they were going to babies elsewhere. Now she associates diapers and babies. And she thinks its a punishment to have to wear her kushie anywhere or anytime but bedtime.

My MIL is ALWAYS on my back about not pushing her. (not saying you are at all :) ) and I can't let her watch my daughter because she doesnt encourage using the potty. My MIL raises one of her grandsons....and he is still in a pull up at night....and he's 9!!! So I can't put much faith in her method.

Marlow showed all the signs, she was so interested, she started to try and go on her own...and it was so easy! Within a week Marlow was totally day trained. Accidents were rare.

Now....Im scared to take her out to the mall to finish Christmas shopping or to try on Christmas dresses in case she decides to just let it go.

deleted_user 12/21/2011

I don't have my daughter try on dresses anyway. I'd probably keep her home from shopping. Maybe if she thinks it's a punishment to wear a diaper you can threaten her with that. Make her wear one again for a day. If she's that insistent on not wearing them again, it could snap her back into shape.

deleted_user 12/27/2011

I'm with the last comment. If she likes cleaning and doesn't like diapers then you tell her she has to wear a diaper like a baby and if that diaper is dry at the end of some period you'll let her back into panties again. But, just a thought, could she have a UTI? I'd ask her if she feels some pain or burning when she pees.

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