Parenting Toddlers (1-3) Support Group
This community is focused on the joys, challenges and concerns faced by parents of toddlers (1 to 3 year olds). The major areas of child development include: physical development, perception and sensory development, communication and language development, cognitive development, emotional development and social development. Join to share your stories and get advice.
I was raised where manners were the golden rule. You addressed adults who weren't family members as Sir and Ma'am, you always always said please and thankyou. You never interrupted someone talking, and you always sat still in the eyes of company.
I don't expect my daughter to adhere to all of these, kids will be kids, but I would like her to do some of it. She is 17 months, and the doctor(who I finally talked to for those of you who know my MIL's opinions about my daughter's speech) and he said she is well advanced in speech for her age. He said she is talking almost six months ahead of herself. She says sentences, albeit small ones.
Anyways, she has been saying 'thankyou' for about two months now. She says it all the time. Give her a drink 'thankyou', give her a toy 'thankyou', give her a time out 't-t-tha-thankyou'.
But she ONLY says thankyou to her dad and I. Not to other relatives, certainly not to strangers. Plus, the word please. I am having an incredibly hard time getting her to say please. When she want's something I hold it out of her reach and ask her to say please. As soon as I say the word, slowing it down and exaggerating my lip movements, she laughs. She thinks the word please is hysterical! She won't say it, even if I refuse to give her, say the toy, until she does. She eventually just gives up on the toy and goes and finds another.
I'm guessing the thankyou to strangers and others will come, so I'm not really worried about that, but I would really like her to start saying please instead of 'eh' but I just don't know how to get it done. And advice?
I don't expect my daughter to adhere to all of these, kids will be kids, but I would like her to do some of it. She is 17 months, and the doctor(who I finally talked to for those of you who know my MIL's opinions about my daughter's speech) and he said she is well advanced in speech for her age. He said she is talking almost six months ahead of herself. She says sentences, albeit small ones.
Anyways, she has been saying 'thankyou' for about two months now. She says it all the time. Give her a drink 'thankyou', give her a toy 'thankyou', give her a time out 't-t-tha-thankyou'.
But she ONLY says thankyou to her dad and I. Not to other relatives, certainly not to strangers. Plus, the word please. I am having an incredibly hard time getting her to say please. When she want's something I hold it out of her reach and ask her to say please. As soon as I say the word, slowing it down and exaggerating my lip movements, she laughs. She thinks the word please is hysterical! She won't say it, even if I refuse to give her, say the toy, until she does. She eventually just gives up on the toy and goes and finds another.
I'm guessing the thankyou to strangers and others will come, so I'm not really worried about that, but I would really like her to start saying please instead of 'eh' but I just don't know how to get it done. And advice?
As for the strangers thing - he's not AS good as he is with us, but that's kinda par for the course. He does say thank you and please and bye bye etc to strangers or nursery workers at church and such, but we really don't push it since he's still learning. We feel confident it will come since we are using it so much at home.
Instead of trying to emphasize the word PLEASE on it's own (since she already thinks it's comical) just make the phrase a one unit thing as part of your own speech. If she askes for milk, just ahnd it to her and say MILK PLEASE! and do that consistently so she just learns to mimic that. In truth, at this age we are just laying down repetitious habits....they won't truly understand manners until they are older. Oh...and always, if you don't already, USE MANNERS YOURSELF. If you ask her to do something, ask with a please and then THANK HER for doing it. Even little things like, "be still for your diaper chane please....or .... thank you for sitting still for your diaper change" and really emphasize the please and thank you so she hears you using it all the time.
Hope that helps.
We also taught him 'more', 'food' and 'drink' in case others didn't understand his words.
"Talking Hands" has all of these and more...we found it at our local library.
Today she said please for the first time, and I figured I would share it. She is 17 months, and we were out shopping for a new bed today....and she was getting bored, understandable, so she was sort of wandering around in the bed section(we could see her at ALL times) when she came across this old man testing out a bed. Now, old men seem to love baby's, so he proceeded to talk to her as he tested a bed and she stood beside him. He had taken off his shoes so as not to mess the bed even though there was a shoe gaurd on it. And he asks Marlow 'so what are you doing here?' and she says 'bed'(new word and she had been saying it ALL day) so he says 'and how's that going?' and she replies 'stinky feet up please'!!! Up is her word for up and down, and I almost leapt across the bed department to grab her and tell her to say sorry. Just instinct I guess. But the old man was laughing his butt off, told her she was right, old feet do smell pretty ripe!
In our family, the guys didn't go to the table wearing a hat, or without a shirt, and when my kids were coming up, I put them in Jr. Cotillion when they turned 12 to reinforce what I'd been teaching them. I just rewarded them with praise. There, they learned to look people in the eye when being introduced, stand when a lady enters a room, for my son to properly sit in front of a lady...never turning his rear towards her, but away from her, where to put their empty plate, etc. I had as much fun as they did; maybe more. For their homework, they had to shake at least ten hands (we did it at church) and the adult signed the paper to return.
When they were really young, I got the kid's placemats that showed them where to put their utensils, glass, etc. I always tried to make it fun.
I'm a manners gal; whereas my ex wasn't. I won!!!