Parenting Toddlers (1-3) Support Group

This community is focused on the joys, challenges and concerns faced by parents of toddlers (1 to 3 year olds). The major areas of child development include: physical development, perception and sensory development, communication and language development, cognitive development, emotional development and social development. Join to share your stories and get advice.

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joleneLS 05/02/2011

When Marlow first learned to talk she would copy us telling the dogs not to bark(hush, enough, stop) or someone telling her cousins not to rough house(no, quit, bad, listen up). It was encouraged, in hindsight, I should kick myself in the rear, but she was talking so everyone clapped and made a big deal.

Now she tells everyone to stop, or hush, or no, or quit. And she wags her little finger and says it in a mean voice. And as of late, shes been ridiculously cranky, she's added in hitting.

Any ideas on how to get her to stop teling everyone and anyone what to do? She's actually made a little girl cry! I don't want my daughter to be the bossy bully in the play group.

N79 05/02/2011

No I don't but I have a related story..my daughter has been hitting my niece...and only my niece and we had no idea why. My MIL watches them both 1x week..they play nice for the most part. So when I see them I try and watch and see why my daughter is doing this and I think it's because my niece is BOSSY...she pulls Emma around where she wants her to go and when I tell Em to do something and she doesn't listen..my niece tries to make her do it too. So I'm trying to tell my daughter not to hit but then I think I know why...so stressful. I have the same worry..I don't why my daughter to be 'that kid' that hits..good luck

deleted_user 05/02/2011

My dd is very bossy! When we are telling our ds not to do something she will say no no bubba, or she will try to grab him by the hand and physically make her stop. I think they watch us so much they think its ok, but I continue to tell her she doesnt tell bubba what to do, or I tell her I can handle this. It doesnt really work that well but I will keep stressing that she has no authority.

deleted_user 05/04/2011

For me, I look DD in the eyes, give her a disappointed look and say "That's not something we do" and then go on with explaining why we don't do it. Make sure to give valid reasons and not just some made up story, or else it will come back to haunt you later.

Step up the parenting and try to intervene whenever you see it happening. Take the time to show her how to interact with others. My hubby and I make deliberate displays sometimes to show what is acceptable- saying please and thank you, not being rude, how to avoid argument and how to compromise. Sometimes it helps to make examples to help teach children that they cannot always get their way. Eventually, they get the idea.

Kids pick up on everything and we need to be mindful of what example we are setting. This is exactly why I refuse to use words like stop, no, etc. If I wouldn't want someone talking to me that way, what right do I have talking that way to my child? Try to speak passively and not in an annoyed tone when your child is doing something wrong.

Children love to test the boundaries of our patience, LOL.

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