I see your daughter as controlling the situation in the dressing room,
I bet she is a very precious smart little girl but kids like and need limits set for them.

Why let her make the choice, she is only 22 months? When you allow her to go through all the clothes, that makes work for you.
You probably have other things to do besides cycling through her clothes each time, A few times - it can be cute, she is developing her personallity, but it is imporatant for her to start learning that you are the decision maker.

This is also a good time to help her learn manners in speaking and talking to other people. This will take some time but just be consistent, know what or how you expect her to behave. Kids test parents by defying the rules.. Do not give her positive attention when she rolls her eyes. She is learning what is ok from you.
Good luck,

Try giving her a choice between two pairs of pants, then shirts, socks...This way she decides what she wears, but you control the situation. If she covers her ears or rolls her eyes, ignore it. Sometimes when you ignore an undesirable behavior it goes away b/c she gets no reaction. You could also get down on her level and firmly tell her that the behavior is unacceptable. Tell her what you expect from her. It's never too early to teach her how to act appropriately. Just remember to be consistent.

For clothes I agree with Julesx. Try giving her a limit like - you can choose between this many pants, shirts, etc. or you get to wear what I choose. It will be tough in the beginning but she will adjust pretty quickly. Make it so it's a clear limit and be non-emotional, just like you would say "we only cross a street when light's green". Make it a fact, not something to negotiate and bend.

For behavior, I'd try a mild unpleasant consequence. Does she enjoy your company? Then leave when she misbehaves for a short while. Or do a mini-timeout. I've tried many things to stop my son from biting when he nurses (he's only 11 mo). Everything was funny to him. So I started 1 min timeout when I warn him first that I'll do this if he bites, then when he does I put him in crib and walk away. This helped very much with biting.

This is a really hard thing to go through and I totally sympathize with you.

Try to step back and really look into what signals you are sending her when you're trying to get her to do something. If you harp on something or show annoyance, it can really set off this behavior. I've found that I don't even have to raise my voice anymore. 100% of the time, I talk to DD like she is a regular person. If I feel anger rising, I walk away and come back when I'm cooled down. Some people can be extremely defensive- its a part of their personality. It is something that only she can change.

I am not looking for an argument, but I have to strongly disagree with what Momjulia said. Children cannot be controlled. They can be guided and protected along the way, but when it comes down to it- it is their life and they have the right to choose how to live it.

Just curious, but where did she pick up eye rolling off of? Does anyone do it in the house or is she seeing it on tv? Exposure might be a part of the problem. If you find the source and get rid of it, you may see an improve. Also, lead by example. It's gonna be hard to get her to stop doing it if you do it yourself, lol. :o)

Good luck to you and hang in there!

Momjulia,

While I appreciate your comment, I disagree with the controlling thing. I was denied the simple pleasures of growing up, and I will not do that to her, even if she is still young. She has perfect manners. Says please and thank you every time. Says bless you when you sneeze. And she's not learning the rolling the eyes thing from me or anyone in the household or on TV.


Julesx,

I've tried the couple of choices thing. Sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn't. Sometimes I can act like I'm changing out the pants and she'll think it's a new pair and say yes, but other times it doesn't work. I've tried ignoring the eye rolling and also tried telling her it's not okay to do that and that it's disrespectful. Sometimes she says sorry but others she says "So."

Kaja2008,

Time outs worked for a little while, but it stopped working. Now I put her to bed a little early if she rolls her eyes at me or tells me no a couple of times. Once she starts to be able to open doors, I don't know what I'll try next.

Ciora,

I'm pretty much always calm and level headed when I talk to her and after a time out, I always pick her up and explain why she was in there, and then give her kisses. I know she may not always understand the reason, but I try my best to explain it. I agree with you about not controlling them, but rather guiding them instead. My dad had so much control over me, and still does. I don't want that for her. As far as the eye rolling, I have no clue where she got it from. I don't do it and neither do the girls I nanny for. She only watches Dora, Kailan and Blues Clues on TV, so I have no clue where it came from. I'm a single teenage dad and we live with my older brother, but he doesn't do it either. Not a clue where it came from. lol

All I have to say is GOOD LUCK!!!!! My daughter was A LOT like how you are describing your daughter. My DD, Paige, is now 18. She is an AWESOME, smart, compassionate, loving, beautiful, kind hearted wonderful girl but she is also the most stubborn moody girl that I have EVER met!!!!! We ended up sending her to private school with a strict uniform (not because of the clothing issue but it was much easier that she had no choice in what to wear)With the attitude when people are speaking to her---well Paige is 18 and we are still reminding her "to be nice" I really think the only thing you can do is model the right behavior and then talk about how you handeled yourself appropriately. Your daughter will probably always have an "attitude" but I am sure she will be a great kid. People would always tell us how wonderful and great Paige was and we would be shocked because she was sooooo difficult for us. She learned that is was OK to be awful for her parents and great for everyone else!!!

It sounds like you are doing a great job with your daughter. I have a 2 yr old and he hates wearing clothes. Sometimes he'll run around in his underwear all day. I pick my battles. Good luck and keep up the good work.

Try cutting out on the Dora and see if it makes a difference. While Dora teaches a little bit of Spanish, she also teaches kids how to be loud (encouraging talking back and that kind of behavior).

Nothing against the show, but I've noticed the same rebellious behavior in more and more kids who watch it. Four of my friends cut it out entirely and they noticed a huge difference.

If your daughter likes music, try the Wiggles. They are more relaxed yet lots of fun. With a household full of men, your daughter might relate to them, lol. :o)

I tried cutting out tv all together and just doing a lot of reading time, since I don't watch tv myself. But it made no difference, so I let her go back to watching it on occasion. She's never been allowed to just sit and watch it all day. I gave her my old spongebob cd player, because I'm really big on music, so now she's listening to music a lot more than watching tv, but Dora is still her favorite show. She didn't like the wiggles, thankfully, lol because I can't stand that show. She used to like Barney but quickly got over him.

i'm wondering where your daughters mom is ? does she have contact with her at all and if so is there unsupervised visits ? could your daughter be picking up this behaviour from her mom ?

does she go to daycare or a babysitters house while you are in school or working ?