Parenting Toddlers (1-3) Support Group
This community is focused on the joys, challenges and concerns faced by parents of toddlers (1 to 3 year olds). The major areas of child development include: physical development, perception and sensory development, communication and language development, cognitive development, emotional development and social development. Join to share your stories and get advice.
I run an in home private day care. As such I have dealt with tons of different types of children. From shy to outgoing, loud to quiet, advanced to delayed, and I have dealt with the attention seeker.
I have a child now, she is three, who goes above and beyond any attention seeker I have ever dealt with. It's to the point that I dread her showing up for the day and I am considering telling her parents they need to find other care. It seems extreme right? I've never felt like this with a child and I don't want her to suffer because I am at such a loss.
First off, she needs you to be watching her constantly. I mean constantly. She will demand you watch her wiggle her toes, sit on her butt, roll her head on her shoulders, eat her meal, make a silly face and on and on. She demands you watch and she expects praise after about how great she is and how amazing it is that she wiggles her toes. If you ignore the behaviour she get's louder and louder. I have put her on time out when she get's to a certain volume but her parents don't agree with me.
Second, she cannot allow anyone to talk without butting in. And it's constantly. If I am talking with another child (I have 6 in my care) about dinosaurs this other child will butt in with something that makes NO sense....like 'Butterflies have wings and I like purple, did you know that?". And if the conversation does not go towards her, or I tell her to please wait I am talking to so and so she just continues to butt in. When other parents come to gather their children and we are doing our quick run down of how the day went she is bouncing around cutting everyone off and demanding attention.
She makes up friends and alternate realities in order for people to pay attention to her. If the other kids are playing a game she will tell them her friend Diego is with her and he is so much better then they are and he only likes her. And she will continue to throw this imaginary friend in their face non stop. This happens a lot because the other kids have started to exclude her.....something I am working on...because every game they play she has to be the centre of it or she gets mad.
She repeats. This is literally something she said today alone "I like popcorn. Did you know I like popcorn? My mum knows I like popcorn. I like popcorn, did you know that? I like blue and squares, did you know that I like blue and squares? I like popcorn, did you know that I like popcorn? And smarties. And I have a friend named Larney who loves me. I like popcorn, did you know that?" All this was because my SO was out picking up a few groceries and he had called me to clarify something on the list and I had not paid attention to her immediately. I was on the phone for three minutes and she didn't stop talking or get out of my face once.
I need suggestions on how to stop this behaviour. Because if I can't within the next month I am going to have to give her parents notice.
I have a child now, she is three, who goes above and beyond any attention seeker I have ever dealt with. It's to the point that I dread her showing up for the day and I am considering telling her parents they need to find other care. It seems extreme right? I've never felt like this with a child and I don't want her to suffer because I am at such a loss.
First off, she needs you to be watching her constantly. I mean constantly. She will demand you watch her wiggle her toes, sit on her butt, roll her head on her shoulders, eat her meal, make a silly face and on and on. She demands you watch and she expects praise after about how great she is and how amazing it is that she wiggles her toes. If you ignore the behaviour she get's louder and louder. I have put her on time out when she get's to a certain volume but her parents don't agree with me.
Second, she cannot allow anyone to talk without butting in. And it's constantly. If I am talking with another child (I have 6 in my care) about dinosaurs this other child will butt in with something that makes NO sense....like 'Butterflies have wings and I like purple, did you know that?". And if the conversation does not go towards her, or I tell her to please wait I am talking to so and so she just continues to butt in. When other parents come to gather their children and we are doing our quick run down of how the day went she is bouncing around cutting everyone off and demanding attention.
She makes up friends and alternate realities in order for people to pay attention to her. If the other kids are playing a game she will tell them her friend Diego is with her and he is so much better then they are and he only likes her. And she will continue to throw this imaginary friend in their face non stop. This happens a lot because the other kids have started to exclude her.....something I am working on...because every game they play she has to be the centre of it or she gets mad.
She repeats. This is literally something she said today alone "I like popcorn. Did you know I like popcorn? My mum knows I like popcorn. I like popcorn, did you know that? I like blue and squares, did you know that I like blue and squares? I like popcorn, did you know that I like popcorn? And smarties. And I have a friend named Larney who loves me. I like popcorn, did you know that?" All this was because my SO was out picking up a few groceries and he had called me to clarify something on the list and I had not paid attention to her immediately. I was on the phone for three minutes and she didn't stop talking or get out of my face once.
I need suggestions on how to stop this behaviour. Because if I can't within the next month I am going to have to give her parents notice.
maxlighter
When you talk with her parents about her behaviors, how does that play out? You said they don't agree with you...I'm guessing this has less to do with you and her and more to do with them. I get it, when you have a kid, you want to shower them with love and attention all the time, but the problem is they are setting a norm that is hurting her. Whats going to happen when she goes to school? She annoys all the kids and gets excluded and then develops more imaginary friends to fill her insatiable need for attention? Its really hard to talk to parents without sounding judgemental, I would try to come from a place of concern. Another idea might be (and I know this is hard if you have 6 kids at your daycare) but schedule time where she gets attention. Really routine, so she knows its coming. Like she can talk to you, non-stop for 10 mintues, twice a day at the same time every day. The most important thing, I think, is to just get on the same page as the parents. If you can't get them to get on the same page, maybe it is time to cut the cord.
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