Im in the SAME boat with my 2.5 year old daughter. I dread public outings because I know she will test me. And when Im around shes stand offish and rude to others, but if Im not there shes an angel. Of course my MIL uses that to rag even more on my parenting. I think its just a stage....but does it have to last so long and be so hard?????

I have the same problem. And I agree it is depressing. He is an angel at school, all his teachers love him, he's perfect for both sets of grand parents and everyoen talks about how well behaved he is and then the minute I get in the car alone he melts down. Lately we've been having lots of issues with his pulling my hair (it's long) and no matter how many times I tell him no or put him in time out, he comes back and yanks it hard. I lost it the other day, picked him up and put him in his crib screaming. I felt terrible but I couldn't think of another way to repremand him.

I asked my doctor about it and she said that he feels safe with me, so he can let his guard down, so he pushes things with me because he knows that my love is unconditional. Not sure I buy that but it did make me feel better.

Don't feel bad- you are not alone and from what I understand, this is very normal for toddlers.

2.5 is really the start of the difficult years. And, yes, it will be a hard few years. They're discovering they have some control and they're wanting more independence. I honestly think 3 was worse than 2, and we had a pretty rough 2 with our son. 4 was better behaviorally, somewhat, but he really started getting mouthy. Now at 5.5 we're really starting to see the light! He's recognizing the boundaries we've set. He's still mouthy at times, but he's also learning from the repercussions. Just stick to your rules. Be consistent. I can't say that enough!! 3 years of being consistent but worrying every day we might be being too hard on him and I'm seeing now that we MUST have done something right! He's coming back to being our sweet, sensitive little guy. The boy I always knew was still there. The last week has actually seemed like a dream. In the long term, I'm fine with having a couple years of h. e. double hockey sticks for what we're getting now. My son's been perfect in school since day 1 too. I was always thankful he was good in school. It gave me hope. :)

My daughter (2.5) does the same thing. As much as I feel your pain its good to know I'm not alone. As soon as I pick her up at daycare she gets fresh and sometimes hits me. and her daycare provider says she doesn't act like that at all with her. She tales her to the store (which I never do because its so misrable) and she's fine for her. I don't het it bit it is really hard. Because info work full time I want our time together to be happy and fun and its exhausting to have to deal with. Good luck!

It sounds to me like you are "safe" to him. It's not that he doesn't love you or appreciate you, it's that he Does love you. He knows he can test you because you will always love him. He doesn't test other people, because they are not as safe. Does that make sense? It's the same with teens.

I have been going through the same thing with my DD. I find it comes in waves. She will be overall pretty good for a while and then we will have a week or two where she is a total nightmare and I feel like I'm putting her in timeout every second. And like your son, she is perfect for everyone else but me and my DH. I think all these behaviors are totally normal, so nothing to worry about, but that doesn't help the frustration any. I think they are just learning about how the world works, about limits and actions and consequences, and unfortunately for us it is SUPER aggravating. I've tried to offer her choices every possible moment so I can help her feel more control and independence. I've got some friends that swear by a parenting book/classes called Love and Logic that teaches that same principle. I haven't checked it out yet, but my friends really think it makes a huge difference. I find that if I get some alone time periodically it really, really helps me to be more patient afterwards. Hang in there, we are all right there with you!