I'm devastated and don't know what to do... I've been the single mom of my 14 yr old daughter, and she's recently been staying with her dad and his common law girlfriend for the past couple of months, as a temp arrangement that I supported bc she wanted to go back to the town we lived to continue schooling there. 

At first my daughter asked for her dad's help with her staying there for a bit untill we both officially moved back, and he refused about the 4-6 times she asked (text), saying he had to check with his girlfriend, and she kept saying no. Then I told her to tell them I will give them the child support money back to him while she's in his care, then it was a yes.

I felt happy for my daughter that we worked this out for her, as she had just reconciled with her dad after he wasn't in her life for 2 years (his choice), and she would also be with old friends, etc. I have a house in that area which I was renting out and it wouldn't be available till spring, so I was stuck in the place we came to last year, 1 1/2 hours away, till I could go back. 

The first week after I visited my daughter and was returning her to her dad's, he texted her wanting information about me to fill out forms...but didn't say what. When I dropped her off he went on in a friendly way about how he never really liked FRO (Family Responsibility Office that garnishes the wages for child support)... Turns out the forms were to try and get me off this behind my back, even though I told him I would just give it back to him while she was there because she was only to be there temporarily. I didn't see the point in going through all the paper work, and they had tried to take advantage of me in the past with child support and other areas, so I felt safer staying on it and just passing it on to them while my child was there. He also talked about how she might just want to stay there... This felt like a red flag for me, and the next day I secured an apt to be in the same town come Jan 1st and let them know.

Since then, they've given her $100, taken her to hotel to stay (the one his girlfriend gambles and gets free rooms because of it), while she was sick. She was apparently sick with a respiratory illness sick for 2 weeks and no Covid test, just took her to a hotel, eating cake, swimming... putting other's at risk if she did have Covid, and jeapordizing her heath as she should have been at home getting better (she also has asthma). After the 2 weeks of her being sick (at that point missed over 16 days of school in the first month of school), I called the doctor for a phone appt the same day and she was sent back to school. Another time she was sick, apparently vomiting, she was taken to the movies... Apparently, the place is so filthy that when you look at the kitchen all you see is dirty dishes with food still stuck on them, there was a worm and bug in the shower...

To my surprise and behind my back they also contacted the government to get me off a couple of other benefits I was receiving. No notice or anything, just got it transfered to them. I work but this would have been helpful travelling the distance to visit her more. My main concern here is that they did it behind my back and without warning, so I could plan financially etc.

Sadly, my daughter started withdrawing from me as well...not returning my calls or voicemails or texts, has been distant. We left on great terms and have always been close and I've felt like I'm losing her. During my second visit with her, she had plans with the girlfriend and wanted to go with her instead, even though our visit was planned, and I drove 1 1/2 hours, paid $100 to rent a car to see her (mine's older so I don't travel long distances with it)...

And now, I'm scheduled to move Dec 30th - 2 weeks - and she says she doesn't want to leave till spring, and that I'll have to drag her out, and her dad's saying it would be traumatic for her to be forced to leave etc. I'm shocked that this is even happening.

They didn't want her there till they were offered money, then it felt like they bribed her to want to stay ($100 cash, shopping, hotel, etc) and have somehow turned her against me, so they could continue to get money from her being there.

When he learned that it would be the 30th I would be getting her, he texted me saying he told her that the visits would go back to every 2 weeks between them. To me this doesn't show he's genuinely interested in having her around. 

I'm pretty torn up about my daughter not wanting to be with me as we were close and I gave her a decent and stable life, and as her primary caregiver feel it's my right to have her back in my care, rather than living in filth, getting sick, school absences etc. If I didn't feel like she was being manipulated and used and not getting the care she needs, I would have no problem with her staying there till spring, but that doesn't feel like it's the case.

He doesn't want to return her back to me, saying she'll be "traumatized" being forced, and she doesn't want to return back to me earlier than spring, yet I have a place ready and in the same town, with the same school bus, best friend there and her dad there, so she can still see him when she wants, which I made clear, but no... I feel strongly that she needs to be out of there -  where she's not being used and manipulated (something she has said before they did a lot of in the past but she didn't say anything).

Any suggestions here would be greatly appreciated. I feel like I'll have to get the police involved if he doesn't meet me with her, and am not sure whether to get child protective services involved. I just want my daughter back into my care.

Thank you.