Parenting Teenagers (12-18) Support Group
This community is focused on the joys, challenges and concerns faced by parents of teenagers (12 to 18 year olds). The major areas of child development include: physical development, perception and sensory development, communication and language development, cognitive development, emotional development and social development.
Here's the set-up as quick as I can:
My fourteen yr. old step-son was suspended from school for five days because he decided to follow another child in the act of fashioning a make-shift weapon that consisted of a pencil and a push-pin taken from sewing class. They pushed the pins through the eraser on their pencils and poked each other and a few other students with it. My husband and I were apalled and outraged with our son.
Then, simply because she shares DNA with my step-son, we needed to share the info. with his bio-mom. We have him 90% of the time, she forgets visitation, doesn't come to conferences, sporting events, doesn't call during the two to three weeks she doesn't see him, etc. However, she choses this to get in an uproar over and state that she was going to get an attorney and go after the school. I wanted to know why and she said that she couldn't believe he would be suspended because a pin wouldn't hurt much and it was such a little thing. I was floored, I realize everyone has different parenting techniques but I couldn't believe this is the place she choses to start parenting, and in my opinion, not very well. She will scream at him for 45 min. because he is at a back school door instead of a front one, even though we made prior arrangements, but he takes the time to sneak into a classroom, take pins, put it in an eraser and poke random students, and she is going to stand up for him?
My question is: What does everyone else think? Would you discipline your child along with the school or would you fight the school and pamper your child?
My fourteen yr. old step-son was suspended from school for five days because he decided to follow another child in the act of fashioning a make-shift weapon that consisted of a pencil and a push-pin taken from sewing class. They pushed the pins through the eraser on their pencils and poked each other and a few other students with it. My husband and I were apalled and outraged with our son.
Then, simply because she shares DNA with my step-son, we needed to share the info. with his bio-mom. We have him 90% of the time, she forgets visitation, doesn't come to conferences, sporting events, doesn't call during the two to three weeks she doesn't see him, etc. However, she choses this to get in an uproar over and state that she was going to get an attorney and go after the school. I wanted to know why and she said that she couldn't believe he would be suspended because a pin wouldn't hurt much and it was such a little thing. I was floored, I realize everyone has different parenting techniques but I couldn't believe this is the place she choses to start parenting, and in my opinion, not very well. She will scream at him for 45 min. because he is at a back school door instead of a front one, even though we made prior arrangements, but he takes the time to sneak into a classroom, take pins, put it in an eraser and poke random students, and she is going to stand up for him?
My question is: What does everyone else think? Would you discipline your child along with the school or would you fight the school and pamper your child?
It does remind me of when I was younger though. MUCH younger like elementary school. My best friend and I would slap each others leg as hard as we could to see who could take it more, and we both grew out our fingernails really long and we'd claw each other's hands again to see how long we could take it.. Don't ask me why, but I still have the scars on my hands from it.. I guess we were seeing who was tougher I don't really know what the point was to it.. But we weren't 14 doing it, but maybe the same theory seeing who the "alpha male" is?
You're right to punish him as if there was any question about that. lol
I see where the school did nothing wrong. Your son was harming others and they are doing what we expect a school to do...protect our children from harm.
If I were a parent of one of the kids your son poked I would outraged at the school if they hadn't handled this way.
1 boy = 1/2 brain.
2 boy's = no brain.
Why on earth would you even ask if you should pamper your kid?
Your step-son did do wrong and the school probably had no other option under school and perhaps state regulations to take appropriate action. The suspension will give him time to think about his actions, do not let him think that it's a holiday, don't let him slip on his school work and make him do things, suspension is supposed to teach a lesson not make things easier.
My advice would be to punish him as he needs to learn that he cannot do that to other human beings, ask him would he like if someone done that to him ? Hopefully he will learn something out of it but he will obviously not learn anything from his biological mother.