Parenting Teenagers (12-18) Support Group
This community is focused on the joys, challenges and concerns faced by parents of teenagers (12 to 18 year olds). The major areas of child development include: physical development, perception and sensory development, communication and language development, cognitive development, emotional development and social development.
My 17 yr old dd has an almost 4 month old baby and her boyfriend just came to live with us too. He is also 17. I have three older children (20, 22 & 23) so I've been through the teen years a few times. Even three of them at the same time wasn't like this. They are financially dependant on me and the baby has had medical issues so we have fequent trips to specialists, testing and medication he needs. These kids have no money of their own so every time they need anything I have to produce. I have made it clear I will provide the necessities but no luxuries or convenience. I just can't do it.
The boyfriend is going to school and should graduate this year. My daughter is missing out on her final year... she couldn't even get childcare and go back because the baby wasn't well. I want both of them to get part time jobs. They can both do evenings... him because he's in school all day and her because she would need me to be home from work to babysit in order for her go or him home from school on nights he's not working. I love my daughter and my grandson and want to help as much as I can. The boyfriend is quiet and it will take time for him to feel at home here so its a bit awkward now.
There are lots more issues with this situations but right now I'm just reaching out to see if there is someone else in my shoes.
The boyfriend is going to school and should graduate this year. My daughter is missing out on her final year... she couldn't even get childcare and go back because the baby wasn't well. I want both of them to get part time jobs. They can both do evenings... him because he's in school all day and her because she would need me to be home from work to babysit in order for her go or him home from school on nights he's not working. I love my daughter and my grandson and want to help as much as I can. The boyfriend is quiet and it will take time for him to feel at home here so its a bit awkward now.
There are lots more issues with this situations but right now I'm just reaching out to see if there is someone else in my shoes.
My ex and I were teen parents, and in order to try to make it work out as a family unit, we shacked up at her Mom's place.
We received a lot of help from not only my daughter's grandmothers (both of them) but also her great-grandmother.
I am forever greatful to anyone that ever lent a hand.
The one thing I could say about that stint is this..One does not become a man when he plants his seed, one does not become a man when he gives another his last name, one does not become a man when someone else validates him as man.
****One becomes a man when his priorities/responsibilities are all he thinks about --worrying is what some call it...And I learned this from a WOMAN !!! My beautiful single Mother. A man believes his loved ones are all he lives for, and learns the true meaning of sacrifice. Physical sacrifice, financial sacrifice, MENTAL sacrifice...
So I guess what Im trying to say is...the earlier the young man understands that everything's asked of him, then the easier it is for him to accept reality.
I'd say, speak to your daughter in the most confidential/friendliest way and have her understand that this guy needs to UNDERSTAND all of this more than anyone. a.) help out w/ the household, b.) battle it out w/ school if possible, c.) be there for everyone........MOST IMPORTANTLY HIS DAUGHTER.
~Blessings
It may not be obvious and there may be complaints from their end for not getting more from you, but trust me, they will appreciate the sacrifices you are making because you love them. They are seeing that you are behaving as a parent should and hopefully this will rub off and they will learn to sacrifice what is necessary to raise their child too.
Good luck, keep strong!
Your right to make them work when they can.