I have a few friends who feel the exact same way as you. However, I dont believe that Barbies and Princesses are supposed to be (or need to be) our daughters role models. Growing up with the nickname Princess my entire life (seriously) the role models in my life were my Mother, my Grandmother, my teachers and later even a few of my female bosses. The real women in my life were the most important and empowering role models I could have had. My Mother was the strongest, most independent woman I have ever met yet she lived to buy me dolls for my collection (which I still have) and she would have been the first in line for any Princess movie but she would have insisted on buying her own ticket and standing in line for her own popcorn.

Disney Princesses and Barbies are pure fantasy and we encourage our children to use their imagination why take that away from them? Sure little girls like to watch the movies, put the costumes on and play the part but what girl doesnt want to feel like a Princess, once in awhile?

If I grew up in household that forbid me to play with Barbies and Princesses I think I would have felt betrayed and stifled. Im not saying we need to encourage the Princess and Barbie play but to discourage it would be disservice to your daughters whimsical and short childhood. I believe there are ways to interject confidence and empower our daughters even through this Princess Phase. For instance if we are talking about a Princess in one of her books I like to balance it with little add-ons like how smart, how kind, how compassionate or how clever she is and you can find positive reinforcement in just about every Princess story you read or make-up (which is what I often do in lieu of reading the same dreadful fairy tale night after night).

One other thing I can almost guarantee you that every woman, no matter how confident, powerful and successful she may be always dreams of the day she will meet her Prince. And according to someones post the other day (on Daily Strength), an amazing Prince somehow found his reluctant Princess. And this Princess is a woman who I personally know to be strong, independent and extremely intelligent. And Im certain that this woman and her Prince will live happily ever after as they raise their confident, self-sufficient daughter who loves live and embraces all that it has to offer even if shes wearing her Cinderella dress all the while.

P.S. Just wait until Power Rangers and The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles invade your home. Ill take Snow White over the Blue Power Ranger any day of the week.

The End

But why is it in Disney movies the Mom has always died?

i\'ll chime in and say that chrissy\'s probably right...ultimately, the princesses aren\'t going to seriously twist your daughter\'s perception of right and wrong, morals, etc...and that it may just end up coming off like you\'re the grumpy parent if you deny your daughter this pleasure.

2 things about the princess phenomenon are fascinating to me:

1) it truly does seem to be in-bred in girls...our daughter really didn\'t have alot of exposure to it anywhere, and then all of the sudden one day it just became an obsession. i\'m seeing a similar path already starting with my son and trains...and he\'s not even 2 and has no boys in his life.

2) as rosanne said, the princess stories are really horrible. not only are the morals of the stories pathetic (basically it\'s this: success and happiness = landing the romantic prince while other girls try to hurt you), but the writing....oy vey! is it really that hard to write a story about a princess that actually involves a real plot?

while we\'re on this topic, i\'ll bring up a subject that i think i disagree with most of you moms about...and that is GUNS.

i share y\'all\'s concern that we don\'t want our children playing with guns and they are used for harm and blah blah blah...but i think there\'s also a reasonable limit to that philosophy. the reality about guns is this:

1) your kids are already well aware of what guns are, and hopefully none of us have guns anywhere close to where our children could ever be

2) shooting a super-soaker does not lead to mass murder. the reality of physics is that in order to propel a small object forward, it needs to travel down the length of a tube...i.e., to shoot water, it has to come from a gun.

i think it\'s a parent\'s responsibility to teach kids early that guns are dangerous, but that we can also let our kids play with waterguns. no?

Princess stuff-
I can\'t see the harm in letting the kids enjoy all the princess stuff. It is cute and they enjoy it so much. However, if you are concerned that she is saturated with it, or not getting a balanced message, maybe buy her a tool set to play with and teach her that a girl can be a princess, but capable of so much more. My best friend\'s daughter has a ride along toy that sings a princess song about finding a prince. It is the most annoying song ever and the message is appalling. I just hope that as time goes by, she also gets sent messages telling her that any prince would be lucky to have a girl not only as pretty as her, but also as smart, caring and made of substance as we hope she will be. One of my friends is very big on gender bending play. She had a talk with her daycare lady when her daughter was told that the hammers were for the boys and she should go play with the dolls. My friend helped in every step of renovating their old house, and would expect her daughter to grow up to wield a power sander as well as she does!

The same goes for getting boys involved in \"girly\" type play. It was so sad to see a nephew of mine not allowed to play with his cousin\'s toy kitchen. I say, let the boys learn about the kitchen! When Hayden sees dolls in strollers he wants to push them around and when Logan was first born, he was trying nurse and care for his stuffed toys. I like seeing both genders try out these different forms of play.

Guns-
This has been a topic in our house lately. There are no toy guns in our house, nor do I want any. However, Hayden now makes guns out of everything he finds. Obviously he has learned this from friends at school, but I find it so disturbing. My husband has a different point of view. He finds it harmless, enjoys Hayden\'s imagination in doing this, and wants to teach him to use guns responsibly when he is older. Despite my gut reaction against it I know my husband will find that balance, as he has gone shooting in the past and we even talked about me going to a shooting range. We don\'t own any guns, but it is hard to see the harm in teaching our boys to use them so if they ever have one or come across one, they are that much safer. For now, I just try to remember that Hayden is not trying similate harming anyone, just making a cool noise like his friends, and trying to engage me in his game. Also, water guns are so much fun, I would be hard pressed to say those are bad.

I can\'t agree more with Doug regarding the guns...not in our house.

Regarding the princess/barbie issue: my daughter is still into it at 5 and because my son of nearly 3 looks up to her so much, he seems to have an enjoyment as well. Sad thing is they\'re watching a Barbie video right now (but its only a bonue for them as my wife and I taped Nip/Tuck from last night and needed a few minutes to watch it...unfortunately, we cut it off 5 minutes too early).

But I will throw Barney in the discussion and say \"not in my house\". I kicked him out pretty darn quick.

This is just a guess, but youre probably not going to want to run out and buy \"Barbie in the 12 Dacning Princesses.\" Soon to be released on DVD. Right?

Anyhow, you asked, why are all the mothers dead or seem to be missing in Disney Princess movies? This is probably way more than you asked for, but here goes Most of the Disney Movies are proven formulas based on medival folklore. And as you may (or may not) know, Cinderella and Snow White were based on Grimms Fairy Tales (the stories were originally published in the early 1800s so yes, they are dated). And if you\'re familiar with other Grimm\'s Fairy Tales... you\'ll agree, they are indeed, Grim.

In most traditional fairy tales, the main character is without one or two parents because it helps the audience to engage sympathy with the main character. And as we watch our vulnerable, weak and perhaps even flawed, main character overcome obstacles... the climax becomes much more triumphant as our protagonist reaps his or her reward.

Joseph Cambell, author of The Hero with a Thousand Faces, researched folklore and fairy tales for many, many years he identified patterns in stories that have stood the test of time and many filmmakers (such as Steven Spielberg, George Lucas and Francis Ford Coppola) have followed those storytelling tools and have gone on to create some of the most memorable movies of all time.

Okay, so Im not saying that these movies are GREAT for our daughters to watch theres just reasons behind every plot point, every character and every scene even if you dont see it. And I do believe that we need more contemporary Princess movies that are not so dated and do not create protagonists that are over-the-top weak and wretched. In fact, my daughter has NEVER seen a Disney movie. We own Cinderella and she watched maybe 10 minutes of it before she became bored. Shed much prefer digging through her costume box, putting on a pretty dress and prancing around the house like shes Queen of the Castle. I have no idea where she gets that from!

However, I am taking her (and my son) to see The Little Mermaid at El Capitan tomorrow. I hope we make it at least half-way through and then of course, on the way out, as we are directed through the massively, over-stimulating Disney Store my daughter will beg me for a Little Mermaid costume. In which I will instinctively say, no. But yet somehow, on the way home, I will peek in my rear-view mirror to find an adorable Little Mermaid sound asleep in her carseat.

This is just a guess, but youre probably not going to want to run out and buy \"Barbie in the 12 Dacning Princesses.\" Soon to be released on DVD. Right?

Anyhow, you asked, why are all the mothers dead or seem to be missing in Disney Princess movies? This is probably way more than you asked for, but here goes Most of the Disney Movies are proven formulas based on medival folklore. And as you may (or may not) know, Cinderella and Snow White were based on Grimms Fairy Tales (the stories were originally published in the early 1800s so yes, they are dated). And if you\'re familiar with other Grimm\'s Fairy Tales... you\'ll agree, they are indeed, Grim.

In most traditional fairy tales, the main character is without one or two parents because it helps the audience to engage sympathy with the main character. And as we watch our vulnerable, weak and perhaps even flawed, main character overcome obstacles... the climax becomes much more triumphant as our protagonist reaps his or her reward.

Joseph Cambell, author of The Hero with a Thousand Faces, researched folklore and fairy tales for many, many years he identified patterns in stories that have stood the test of time and many filmmakers (such as Steven Spielberg, George Lucas and Francis Ford Coppola) have followed those storytelling tools and have gone on to create some of the most memorable movies of all time.

Okay, so Im not saying that these movies are GREAT for our daughters to watch theres just reasons behind every plot point, every character and every scene even if you dont see it. And I do believe that we need more contemporary Princess movies that are not so dated and do not create protagonists that are over-the-top weak and wretched. In fact, my daughter has NEVER seen a Disney movie. We own Cinderella and she watched maybe 10 minutes of it before she became bored. Shed much prefer digging through her costume box, putting on a pretty dress and prancing around the house like shes Queen of the Castle. I have no idea where she gets that from!

However, I am taking her (and my son) to see The Little Mermaid at El Capitan tomorrow. I hope we make it at least half-way through and then of course, on the way out, as we are directed through the massively, over-stimulating Disney Store my daughter will beg me for a Little Mermaid costume. In which I will instinctively say, no. But yet somehow, on the way home, I will peek in my rear-view mirror to find an adorable Little Mermaid sound asleep in her carseat.

I just wanted to jump in and say how much i like Chrissy\'s responses...I also just try and look at the whole dress up/princess thing as more creative than a role playing exercise..I just asked Maeve what she thought princesses did and she couldnt come up with an answer...fairies however she went on and on about...so maybe we latch on to fairies..I too was distressed (like Chona) when the whole pink princess thing took over because i never wore a skirt until i was in college and couldnt figure out where her pink princess thing came from...its just a phase...which we will all embrace like other phases...PLUS princesses are so so much better than that whining Caillou...

This is exactly what a dr. should do. it sounds like she cares and is not just about collecting the check. luck y you!

Why don't any of the Endo links work? Are there any links to places where they research Endo? Where do I find them?

This is a great article. Hits the nail on the head. Thanks, firestarmist and Dr. Macari. "Meaning" is critical for depression and recovery from any mental problem. It may be hard and will require action but its worth it. Helping others is often a great way to do this and to get our minds off ourselves. There are many ways to help others including volunteering, helping friends, etc... It can also be as simple as joining a support group, even an online support group. Sharing your struggles, coping techniques, and supporting others is very benefical to all concerned. There are many positive mental health services out there which is great but mutual self-help and support is often one of the most powerful interventions. Thankfully it is now accessible with sites like Daily Strength.

This is a great one to print out and read and re-read. Thank you for a great bit of advice.

I went to this site. Excellent!! Very thorough and informative. Information simple enough for any one. It has some really good links as well. If you want info this is a great aid!!

Thank you darksign, you are really great at finding this awesome stuff!

Try these links to read about EndoFEMM:

http://www.endometriosis.org/endofemm.html
http://www.icutexas.com/conference_2007.html
http://www.endo-resolved.com/pain.html
http://www.endocenter.org/endofemm.htm
http://www.vulvodynia.com

The best place (I believe) to read about Endo is the Endometriosis Research Center. Their link is www.endocenter.org. I hope this helps!