Parenting Preschoolers (3-5) Support Group

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concern if 4 yr old says teacher's assistant...?

changeofideas
changeofideas
Should I be concerned? My 4 year old (probably not the most reliable source) came home from preschool to tell me that her new teacher's assistant caused her to be "scared and sad" when she was making funny faces with a friend because the TA "grabbed" her hand and "ripped it off [her] lips." I tend to think my daughter is being a little dramatic about it and it wasn't as violent as she makes it sound. But the part that bothers me is that she would use her hands at all to make the kids stop making faces, and that my daughter felt sad and scared. She is a new TA in the class so maybe the kids just haven't warmed up to her yet, or maybe she hasn't learned the rules of this particular preschool... I don't know. I'm a bit bothered, but I don't feel it really calls for calling the teacher or the preschool director... I did take notes though in my daughter's own words with the date etc and if it happens more I will be taking all my notes to the director.
wintergreen
wintergreen
you are correct, no matter what the incident I would think that teachers or any caregivers would be extremely cautious about any physical contact. especially in a situation where they are reprimanding. A 4 year old is going on her gut that she is a little scared of the action. I would question this too.
deleted_user
deleted_user
In my experience with my daughter, she was going to a daycare/learning center and she expressed that she didn't like her new "three year olds" room but she couldn't articulate why.She would get sad some mornings before going into her class in shortly after the year started. I literally had to drag her into the classroom one morning and that got my attention and that her issue was more than "transition" issues. My husband and I finally spoke with her teacher and the directors about the behavior and it turns out that the new teacher confessed that she had to be "stern" with my daughter because she had a difficult time adjusting. I think her use of the word "stern" was an understatement because my daughter seemed miserable and she's usually an up beat kid. So from then on we worked on helping the teacher communicate in a positive way with my daughter and everything quickly improved. I said all of that to say this...you know your kid and you know when something just is not right. In my opinion it would not hurt to ask questions and perhaps you can get the adults version of the story so it would make sense to you. I feel peace of mind is important especially concerning your child and her safety.

-MaDurham
joleneLS
joleneLS
I work with children, and while she shouldn't of lay a hand on the child in any aggressive manner, children are also prone to exaggeration and at times out right lying when scolded.

I've had kids I put in the time out corner tell parents that I screamed at them when all I did was tell them to go in a firm voice...as they perceived the authorative voice as a scream. Most kids don't like being told no, or the repurcussions that come with not listening to the no.

I would keep the record and if it happens again go talk to the teacher. But make sure you remain neutral and not accusatory and that your wee one is not with you when you initially talk about it.