I cannot hurt my child physically even if it's a little. So I didn't do what you did. I did do a very short timeout for things that are very unpleasant (like biting when nursing) or very dangerous (trying to touch toilet and lick fingers, mouthing shoes). My son hated it and stopped doing these things. Other annoying but not very unpleasant/dangerous things like hair pulling, slapping, food throwing, etc. I handle like this:

- If they only affect me, like he pulls my hair, I tell him to stop and be gentle, then I demonstrate what gentle means. If he still does it I walk away or I try to distract him
- If he does it to someone else I remove him from that person, after first saying how we should be gentle
- For food throwing I take food away for a brief while if he's still hungry, or for longer if I judge he's done eating

I do believe that kids have trouble learning everything so young. Lots of things are prohibited to them and it frustrates them and at the same time their impulse control is not developed enough. So I try to pick my battles and be consistent and always speak up when something is not a desirable behavior. I really think time will help bring those lectures home.

I think that age is alittle young they don't understand. I personally would just say no and move on with it, they fact that she laughs CLEARLY SHOWS she is FULLY AWARE of what she is doing. but yet doesn't realize that its wrong even if you pull her hair back.
just saying no and removing her from that tempatation is good.

I just say no and offer a distraction. She loves to pull my glasses off my face and I just take them back, say no, and offer her something else to play with. I don't think I could ever hurt her physically, even a little -- plus the glasses are the biggest issue and she doesn't have glasses to steal!

I do have to say that apparently when I was a very little toddler I had a biting problem and the only way my mother could get me to stop was to bite me back so I could see how it hurt. I think this kind of thing is very last resort though.

my parents used a strap on us, and i will never do that, but it did work with us. i dont like the distraction thing, it seems like its just putting it off, and when the time comes to actually discipline her you have to get her not only to understand 'no dont touch that' but also 'no you dont get something else you want'.
what age do time outs work? i watch a few kids to help our income and i use timeouts on them, but the youngest is 18 months.

Hurting a child will only teach them that hurting is ok. I've seen this actually lead to further disturbing behavior down the road (with my nephew, who is now 12 years old- he bullies his two younger brothers something fierce). It could simply be a case of you misunderstanding what is going on in her mind. She could be laughing over excitement or something totally different. A child's mind is not filled with the experience that an adult has.

An 8 month old will not understand everything that you say. The vocabulary is just not there yet. Even at 2 years old, a child still had trouble understanding. Discipline under a year old just will not work. All you can do is be persistent in the way you deal with it.

My daughter has always done the same thing- she won't hit with her hands, but she is terrible with her feet. During diaper changes, she used to bash my chest at full force. I have used Kaja's idea of teaching her the word "gentle". I allow playful kicking that doesn't hurt, but once she gets out of hand I gently grab her ankles and smooth a hand over her feet while saying "gentle" in a soft tone. Then, I smooth her foot over where she was kicking and repeat the word again. It does not take long for a child to learn, once they understand what you are saying. Being consistent is very important, as a child will be confused if you react differently each time. At 21 months, my daughter will now stop when I say "gentle".

In infants, making sure all needs are tended to will cut back on bad behavior. If your child is having trouble eating, sleeping, teething, etc. you can almost expect him/her to act out. Put yourself in his/her shoes. If you were tired or hungry, would you feel 100%?

I completely agree with Ciora. And just to add -- babies that young don't understand cause and effect yet. Your daughter doesn't understand that you tugged her hair to teach her to stop, or even that if she tugs your hair, it hurts you. My daughter bit her own finger one day and looked at me like I was the one who hurt her! Again, you are putting off teaching them that something is wrong, but not because you don't want to deal with it, but because dealing with it directly at this age won't be effective.

As far as time outs -- I don't know what age is recommended to start. My friend's pediatrician told her to start time outs for behavior problems with her daughter when she was about 18 months old, so you may be on track there.

To add: I have a feeling if you could get your MIL to stop laughing when she does the things you don't want her to do, she's stop doing it so much. My daughter was pulling glasses constantly because my partner would always laugh when she did it to her (as she was trying to wrestle her glasses out of her little paws). I never laugh because unlike my partner I really really need my glasses to see and if they were broken I would be totally screwed. Once I convinced my partner she was undermining me in trying to get her to stop, and she stopped laughing, the baby stopped being so interested in pulling our glasses.

If she doesn't understand why did she stop pulling hair after only a few tugs? Sometimes I think we under estimate how smart our kids really are!
Getting my MIL so stop doing anything I don't want her to is almost impossible. She is not my favorite parent and she is constantly telling me I am doing everything wrong and doing it the way she wants too.
I have just seen kids who got no discipline until they were like 2! And they are out of control by that age if you don't do something. I don't hurt her, she never cries, she just get's a little confused until she puts two and two together. We do do the 'nice' and 'gentle' when she hits. And that works too. For the hitting.
I also need to teach her ASAP because our dog is an angel when it comes to the abuse, our cat...is not. And I don't want her getting her face gouged! Not that the cat is within arms reach that much. But Marlow's arm reach is expanding the more mobile she becomes!
The timeouts are like beating my head against a wall with the little girl I watch....lol....but I stick to them as this is the way her mother said she deals with her. I do agree with time outs, but I honestly see nothing at all wrong with a tap on the fingers every now and then. There is a fine line between discipline and child abuse, and a tap on the fingers is nowhere near the abuse line!
Thanks for your input though guys!

My son is 7 months old and he grabs at my hair ALL-THE-TIME. I know right now he isnt doing it intentionally to hurt me...its there, its long and its in his reach...why wouldnt he grab it? I just take it out of his hands and say "No Pull" or "Ouch, that hurts" or "NO LUCAS" I know he doesnt understand yet, but I hope that if I keep on saying those things he will eventually understand. Im not against tapping my child when it warrants it...but at 7 months old I dont think it does.

I agree w/most of the rest...too young for any kind of tapping/hitting!! Time-out should not be used till their 2, if this is your first you'll learn that it ""will'' work itself out. Just tell her no firmly and distract her. Mine won't even touch anything wrong after I've said "NO" like I mean it. Or ignore, when you can...all kids love attention for the good and bad things they do (but don't really know the difference, just that it's getting your attention). They certainly aren't trying to hurt u.....just learning...and learning EVERYTHING! Be patient and kind, just because your parents used a belt, does not make it right...

I'm kind of guilty for letting my DD get away with things. She discovered hair pulling and when I said "ouch" she laughed. I thought it was funny and so she kept doing it. When I finally said "No" like I meant it, she got mad. My DD is of strong character when she wants to be! She puts her hands into fists and gets her body all stiff and grunts at us when she's mad because we told her "no". But at least I know she knows what it means and that I'm being serious. Now that we're visiting family, she smacks them in the face (not really hard though), but they all think it's funny so they say "ouch" and now "ouch" to her is funny so she continues to do it. So, not only do I have to teach my DD that it is wrong, but now I have to teach my family (and myself!) to not play along. DD grabs her grandpa's glasses all the time, but he lets her do that too! It's hard having to tell family "don't encourage her" when they think it's hilarious and they're spoiling her rotten!

I think sometimes babies do understand cause and effect, but I also think that if we do to them the things that they do to us (such as hair pulling) they may not quite understand what is going on. And even if they do, they might think you just made it okay for them to do it or you're playing along. My cousin started disciplining with a soft smack on the hand when her son would misbehave. Soon, he started lifting his hand as if to hit her too. She quickly stopped doing this and went to time-outs, which has been more effective in the long-run. Another cousin of mine didn't stop with the hitting type of discipline and her son (now 3.5) hits everyone in sight and even yells back at his mother.

I really don't know what advice to offer as I'm having to deal with this too myself and I'm not really being proactive in nipping it in the bud. I suppose what I'll have to do is just be stern when I say "no" and offer her something else to do. I really don't want to hit or pat her or anything like that because with the type of personality my DD has, I think she'll try to do it back to me one day.

The thing with the tapping is though, I don't do it anymore. I only had to do it a few times and she got it. Now 'no' or 'ouch' works just fine for her to stop. I think she understood that the hair pulling wasn't as fun as she thought after she experienced it!\
She doesn't hit people in the face, and if she starts, she will glance at me first, and if I say 'no' she drops her hands and resorts to playing with shirt buttons or whatnot.
We also had a problem with glasses grabbing, but that one only ever needed a 'no, don't do that.'
I would never use the belt on my daughter, but I don't begrudge my parents for using it on me. I turned out quite alright, and I understood that there were consequences for my actions fairly early on, and that worked great for me as my father died when I was 7 and I had to grow up overnight.
I agree with time outs when she is older, but sometimes, a time out does nothing. So in extreme cases I will probably tap her when she is older, but it will not be a daily thing whatsoever!

I also agree with most of the others. This may seem like a good solution right now, but wait until about 16 months when your child is a toddler and starts having tantrums. As noted in this article (http://www.babycenter.com/0_your-17-month-olds-behavior-self-control-or-lack-thereof_1213790.bc), children simply lack self control. The best way to help them understand and navigate their new world is positive and constructive feedback.

From what I've found, all you have to do when your child hits is continually reinforce what it means to be nice. All we do when our son hits is take his hand and say "be nice" as we're using his hand to stroke whoever he is hitting. This works well with animals, too. Our little guy has NEVER hit our cat. Why? From the beginning we've reinforced what it means to be nice.

Tantrums are another one. Babies and toddlers have no acceptable way to express their emotions, especially when they have few words. And, even if they can talk, they still need time to understand how to use their words and communicate their needs. While proactively teaching them how to do these things, the best thing to do is ignore negative behavior and reinforce the positive. For example, no punishment for tantrums. As long as the child is safe, ignore them. However, reinforce and praise for not throwing tantrums (when they normally would), helping out, etc. It works wonders!

Sometimes what they are doing is not intended to be mean. It's their way of expressing what they are feeling at the time. You have to be a role model to teach them appropriate behavior. I always go back to the saying that two wrongs don't make a right. You wouldn't want one of your children pulling the other child's hair because the other did it first. You'd want the second child to be more productive and resolve the issue another way, right? Same goes for parents.

Just some food for thought, and I do not mean this in any sort of negative way- I noticed how you said you had to grow up very quickly when you were little. Is that something that you want your daughter to go through as well? There's no reason to be in any hurry when it comes to her growing and developing. Kids today are growing up too fast and that will have more of an effect than most realize (you should know, as you have been through it). Discipline is not something that is picked up over a few months. Its gradual and takes a very long time. Let her be a baby. They don't think about complicated matters, such as hurting other people. Their minds are simple: eat, sleep, play, poo. Hurting them will not make them realize they have done something wrong. It will cause pain and make them cry.

I think you're a bit wrong about kids being smarter than we think- their brains are in such an early state of development. I don't think its physically or mentally possible for them to comprehend certain things. It's no different than expecting them to be able to jump or run around at 8 months. You just have to wait until your child is ready.

My parents were very abusive to me- and it was more than just using a belt or a disciplinary tap. I suffer from effects of that to this day. Think- *really* think about it. What does hitting teach a child? Ever wonder why you are so quick to hit your own child? Why you see no wrong in it? You are a part of a never-ending cycle. Just because it was done to you does not make it right. It creates a fear that is often confused with respect. I have reflected on the issue for some time and still cannot find what hitting me taught me. With my step-siblings, hitting them only made them behave worse.

I'd rather have a child with confidence and a good head on her shoulders, not a shy child who is afraid to speak up. Instead of hitting her to get her to stop doing something, I teach her why not to do it instead. Getting her brain turning and figuring out for herself why its not good. It has very positive results so far. Some things are hard to teach at the moment, but they will have their time one day.

Again, I mean no ill will in this post. Only to make you step back and think. If you take the lighter path, you may find it is easier down the road than risking your child hitting you back. CP can often backfire. :o)

Another thing to consider- infants are born programmed with certain reflexes. They can't always help grasping onto something when it touches the palm of their hand. Holding onto something will give a sense of comfort. Its not necessarily a good thing to punish a baby for something that is instinctive.

My daughter would pull off glasses, hats, and socks. She also would tug at my hair, but only because it was in the way. I don't think I've worn my hair down since she was born, lol. Anyway, she did outgrow the habit around 16 months. I say "ouch" every time it happens and she learned that "ouch" meant to let go. Consistency pays off.