I think about this everyday and night. I think about when will I die, how will I die, is someone or something trying to kill me now and when I hear about other people dying I obsess about if they are better off.

I can relate to what you said Hollo

All the what if's.

I don't think about people wanting to kill me so much, I've had some bad delusional times where I did think that actually. But it's usually about what happens when are soul leaves are body.

It's draining and consuming. I've tried to figure out what exactly it is about all this that I want to know.. and why I am loured to it but never get the answer. Sometimes I think it's the element of Peace and rebirth. But I can't be sure.

Anyway- just wanted to let ya know you aren't the only one =)
Take it easy on yourselves girls

Yes!!! And it can be very scary and difficult to deal with. When this happens, I sometimes get really emotional, protective and demanding or depressed. It sucks.

yeah i do but mine is very bad that i have woke up in the morning and found cuts on me saying die and i cant remember when or how it happend and found writing all over my walls saying die and i have actuall found full on paragraphs all over my leg saying" DIE your not wnated anywore god wont wnat you but hell will" and i have woke up from a bad dream but it still feels really and im still hearing die so i ran downsatirs and grabbed a bread knife and ran up the streets at 2 in the morning and started to cut my slef and it get louder and more aggresive and so i stabbed myself and it went away straight away and im luck yo be alive acording to them and it getting worse im scared to leave the house

laylayword, are you getting help for what's going on? Does not sound like paranoia in any way to me. Sounds more like a psychotic episode. I know because I've had many myself. I've never self harmed though...so it all sounds so scary to me and I can't imagine what you are going through at that point. I'm so sorry. I do hope you are getting some help. Keeping you in my thoughts.

((hugs))

"sini i am not getting help and im getting so fucking angry bacuase i have been trying to see poeple for 10 years and i always get fucking turned around or say that cant do anywathing i woke up recently finding writing all over my legs and its shit like god dosent want you but hell will and im to scared and i dont know what else to do i am scared to sleep and i dont wanna die but i am told i should

ignore the voices, I know it can be hard (trust me when I say I know)
because they can be so believable, but they aren't real. My best advice to you would be to go to a mental health hospital. once there they will start you off with meds and from there even a doc. if it's the only option do it. it's what I had to do in order to get treatment and diagnosis' .

I know people never like the idea of hospitals, but your life and well being depend on it. you'd feel a world of different with treatment. I hope you can get some help- you are really young and I find it scary how far things get out of hand for you already. Stay strong. :(
((( great big huge bug)))

er wait, this has been happening since you were 4??? Whaaaat...

-.-

no i self harmed for 4 years and i know what your saying about its not real its so easy to say now its not but when it happend it feels like your trapped for how ever long it lasts and i have tried i cant escape from it

the feelings of impending doom came true, they are not always paranoia

i get that feeling alot