Paranoia Support Group
Paranoia is a disturbed thought process characterized by excessive anxiety or fear, often to the point of irrationality and delusion. It is often associated with psychotic illnesses, sometimes schizophrenia, although attenuated features may be present in other primarily non-psychotic diagnoses, such as paranoid personality disorder and obsessive compulsive disorder.
My name is Cassie, new here, although been on DS for quite a while now.
My paranoia seems to be at its worst.
I've been married 5 years now and I still have it in my head that my husband doesn't care/lies/cheats/wants to kill me.
He has not done ANYTHING to lead me to believe this way.
Right now I am on the "he's going to kill me" thing. I say that like I do because I'm so frustrated. Even though I recognize it as totally irrational, the irrational just takes over!!
I've tried CBT over and over again, only to end up back in the same place. I can't remember much of anything anymore, so to keep track of that is really hard.
It's getting to the point where it's ruining our marriage. I thought all this negative junk and began emotionally cheating on him with another guy and I thought the same thing about HIM.
WTF is wrong with me? I can't seem to get my head straight at all and I still feel like everyone is badmouthing me because I deserve it or because they want to hurt me.
Sometimes I think everyone does want to hurt me and see me down. A lot of it leads me to suicidal ideation because I begin to think I'm worthless. That's where the obsessive thoughts come in and it just goes on and on like a vicious cycle.
I am really SOSO happy I found this group! I felt so lost and alone for so long and now I've found people who go through the same things.
I've been reading through the posts going THAT'S ME! I GET THAT!
So thank you for letting me vent and thank you for letting me know that there are others out there
My paranoia seems to be at its worst.
I've been married 5 years now and I still have it in my head that my husband doesn't care/lies/cheats/wants to kill me.
He has not done ANYTHING to lead me to believe this way.
Right now I am on the "he's going to kill me" thing. I say that like I do because I'm so frustrated. Even though I recognize it as totally irrational, the irrational just takes over!!
I've tried CBT over and over again, only to end up back in the same place. I can't remember much of anything anymore, so to keep track of that is really hard.
It's getting to the point where it's ruining our marriage. I thought all this negative junk and began emotionally cheating on him with another guy and I thought the same thing about HIM.
WTF is wrong with me? I can't seem to get my head straight at all and I still feel like everyone is badmouthing me because I deserve it or because they want to hurt me.
Sometimes I think everyone does want to hurt me and see me down. A lot of it leads me to suicidal ideation because I begin to think I'm worthless. That's where the obsessive thoughts come in and it just goes on and on like a vicious cycle.
I am really SOSO happy I found this group! I felt so lost and alone for so long and now I've found people who go through the same things.
I've been reading through the posts going THAT'S ME! I GET THAT!
So thank you for letting me vent and thank you for letting me know that there are others out there
I agree with you, when I came on here (because I was curious) and read stuff I was like-THAT is me! too.
No more lost and alone be comforted? by the fact that there are others, and I can relate to what you write