I used to be confident, was an assistant manager at a nationwide electronics company...they were literally begging me to take my own store. But I was about 3000miles from home, hubby was active duty navy and not any help when he was home and my kids were just too young....then I got diagnosed with Bipolar....that changed everything. I have to give props to the ex...he dealt with it from 1999-2011. I was confident..not enough to take my own store but just the issues with the ex being gone months at a time and 1 of our 2 kids wasn't in school yet...I was being realistic...with the bipolar came the panic attacks and GAD the idea of ever having my own store disappeared. I would take my meds for a month, then go into denial for 2..panic raging the whole time....I share your frustration. I shop online a lot if that tells you anything....and I lost the kids in the divorce...they are teens now and said they wanted to live with dad....i didn't fight them, old enough in this state to decide, but heartbreaking...

You are not alone. I look out the window sad almost everyday. Just to know I can do what ever I want but I am too scared. I can remember myself driving around this small town like I owned it. The only thing I worried about then was gas money. I am going to get back to that person, and everyone who wasn't supportive is going to get rode pass. I am 25 and I am too young to be worrying about every little thing.

Wow, it makes me feel sad that there are more people like me. It's nice in a way because I have someone who understands, but this is something that I wouldn't want any one else to go through. =(. It's not easy at all. I'm 25 and have two kids that I'm trying to be strong for. I dont want them to end up like me. Im the same way there are days that I can't leave the house. I freak out about everything. From not cooking cause of the stove catching fire or not doing laundry because of the same thing. Or just a list of things. Its so hard. I'm a stay at home Mom right now and I have a car that I could do anything go anywhere and yet Im to afraid to. It makes me more sad on the days that I dont have panic attacks to be like wow this is how I really want to be. I turn my afraidness sometimes into anger and it makes things worse =(. I know how you guys feel I do. I would like to be the person who went everywhere did everything wasn't worried about what would happen wasn't worried if my phone wouldn't have reception that kind of things. hmmm..

It's sad. I'm 23 and my boyfriend of 4 years wants to take me out for our anniversary. But all I want to do is stay at home. Of course I'm going to go, I always go. But, shouldn't I be happy and excited to go out to a nice place with the person I love?? It's sad it's like it's just going to be really stressful for me and I'm dreading it. I should just be having fun.

This is one of my biggest problems in dealing with this "illness"....I want to be ME again!!! In doing some online research, I stumbled across some books from a psychiatrist named Dr. Claire Weekes, 'Hope and Help from Your Nerves' and 'Peace from Nervous Suffering'. Our local library didn't have them in yesterday when I went, so I took the only book of hers that they had called 'Simple, Effective Treatment of Agoraphobia." My first response was "I don't have Agoraphobia, but maybe she shares some of the ideas from her other books in this book." To my surprise, I am quite certain I have panic disorder that is evolving into agoraphobia! Apparently, agoraphobia is much more than fear of open spaces, according to the book, it is "a condition in which a person suffers incapacitating fear away from the home, particularly in crowded or isolated places - anywhere that the sufferer cannot make a quick escape or get help quickly, should his fears (thoughts) grow beyond him." I have found that those particular thoughts will trigger a panic attack for me in an instant. I highly recommend this book! She claims she can "cure" the panic cycle by simply helping one understand how it works. I picked the book up yesterday and finished it this morning, and I am excited to try her techniques. Basically, she states that instead of having a fear of dogs or spiders, we have a fear of "the fear". That is exactly what's wrong with me! Her treatment involves desensitizing, much like you would do with a dog, or a spider, but instead with the "fear". The process seems extremly simple...almost too simple, but I just the realization of how much sense it makes, has already made me feel better. I really hope you get a chance to check this book out. One day at a time! Thanks for sharing.

I have read the hope and help for your nerves. I was disappointed because I feel like she just tells you to ignore it. I don't think that approach will ever work for me. I've read about desensitizing. I'm really interested in this book you mention because I've never read about desensitizing the fear of the attack. It's always been about dogs and driving and things, and I don't have a problem with that. Thank you!

I understand completely. I am 24 and my husband and I used to do all sorts of fun things while we were kids and when we were dating. Now all I do is sit at home. Just the thought of getting out of the house makes me retreat and I feel exhausted just thinking of the work it would take to force myself to go somewhere. I have gotten to the point where when I get home from work I immediately put on my sweats so if he asks to go somewhere I can say that I don't want to get dressed again or something like that. I used to love going out, but now, even if it is just going out to eat, all I think about it how crowded the place will be, if I will have a panic attack, and will my anxiety meds kick in in time. I used to be independent, and my hubby says that's one reason he fell in love with me, but now I am so dependent on him and hate to be alone that I feel like another person. I haven't figured it out, so I can't help on that front, but just know you are not alone and I feel exactly the same.

loss of confidence and a collapse of morale are common problems that can make the start of recovery difficult

I definately have been feeling like this but I plan to resolve it right away. Right now I'm trying to lose weight and when that happens I think that'll boost confidence up plus probably help me to get less anxiety plus I'll probably start to become the almost always optimistic person I used to be and not care if every once in a while I just go out somewhere in a t-shirt and jeans. nowadays I feel so unlike myself. i'm not as optimistic anymore, always tired, and I feel like I have to get all dressed up nice just to look good. this morning I actually started crying a bit just because I did not have enough time to get my hair straightened and I thought I looked ugly because of it. that makes me feel real sad that I cannot see my self without being all dolled up and think that I look pretty. no more of this. I am going to do this. I am going to change myself completely.

It's good to know I'm not alone. It also feels good to talk about it with people who understand. My fiance (he proposed after our dinner date!) just gets frustrated with me when I don't want to do stuff. Even though I try to explain how hard it is for me to go out he says something like, "I'm asking you to a movie you want to see, I'm buying, I'm driving, so why WOULDN'T you want to go?"

oh congratulations on the proposal. but yah I understand with the movies thing. everytime I go to the movies I get nervous. last time I had to buy a bottled water for $4.50 because I felt like I couldn't breathe. darned movie theatre prices. -.- but at least you have a marriage to look forward to now. maybe you'll end up being so distracted with the wedding that you won't have so much anxiety. Good luck

I have had panic attacks but with the help of a mild dose of alprazelam I can seem to control it. My daughter has now started having them and she is only 18. My heart breaks for her because she has started college and is afraid to do anything and be by herself. She has started therapy and I hope he can help her. She has a very understanding boyfriend but at times I wonder how much he can take. He drops everything to be there when she cannot seem to cope. I had to learn to change my thinking when an attack came on. Something to get my mind off my symptoms. The biggest thing was listening to praise music. You are a beautiful girl like my daughter and I hope you can overcome this.