Panic Attacks Support Group
A panic attack is a period of intense fear or discomfort, typically with an abrupt onset and usually lasting no more than thirty minutes. Symptoms include trembling, shortness of breath, heart palpitations, sweating, nausea, dizziness, hyperventilation, and sensations of choking or smothering. Panic attacks can be very sudden, appear to be unprovoked, and are often...
I am having serious financial problems right now. I currently have a bill in collections that needs to be paid before I can see my doctor again or even to get a refill on my birth control. There is no reason why this bill shouldn't have been covered by my insurance, yet they claim it went towards a deductable. And when do Gyn appointments cost $186?! Of course, whenever you call my insurance, there is only a robot on the other end. Can't even talk to a real human being.
Also, I have been trying to get a job for what seems like forever. I finally get a call from an upscale restaurant, but I don't get the message until two days later and I am having a rough time trying to get ahold of this manager. From what I understand, they are only hiring bussers at this time. Unfortuantly, I suffer from degenerative disk disease and I really can't lift bus trays without my back going into spasms, yet I feel so desperate I told the manager I would do it. My husband is totally against the idea of me being in constant pain again, and he also doesn't want me to work nights since we live in Baltimore where people are getting killed and raped on a daily basis. We also live in a college neighborhood which is NOTORIOUS for muggings. With these limitations I feel like I will never get a job and I also feel like a shithead for not having a job for over a year when we are so financially screwed.
The apartment has also been in shambles and needs to be seriously cleaned and I feel like the worst wife in the world for letting it get to the level it is. To make matters worse, I have no room for all our clothes, so my clothes just are thrown on the floor of my closet. Not only is everything dirty with cat hair and dust, but one of my cats decided to piss on EVERYTHING! When I get too stressed, I just get catatonic and can't function properly. Apparently my husband has containers that I can stuff my clothes in, but I can never find shit and it is going to take a good three visits to the laundromat to get rid of this cat piss. And it is not like the piss is limited to the closet. Our lovely diabetic cat pisses somewhere in the house at least once a day, sometimes three or four. Sometimes you can't even figure out where he pissed, and other times even large amounts of bleach won't get the damned smell out of the air. Of course, we are so attached to the damned cat that we couldn't dream of getting rid of him, yet he makes my life a living hell and my husband is often yelling when he gets home that he smells cat pee.
My husband, although he doesn't seem to realize it, is REALLY stressed at his job and tends to take it out on me a bit. All he wants to do when he gets home is watch TV all night, which means that I need to shut up and not say a word to him basically. He is now getting on my case about the food I cook saying that he needs to eat more healthy and that I need to learn how to use a steamer which just adds more to my feelings of worthlessness. Still, he is the greatest husband in the world which makes me feel guilty that I am not more understanding of his stress, yet him telling me to shut up during his shows makes me feel lonely since all I want is a conversation. Yet, my OCD causes me to do nothing but repeat things 101 times like a parrot. The last thing I want to do is leave, yet my OCD is constantly telling me to run away and that I just can't take this pressure any more. Hell, it's my stupid medical bills that got us into this poverty, yet my husband certainly doesn't blame me for it.
I just feel like I am going off the deep end and the last thing I need is to end up back in the hospital with more medical bills...
Also, I have been trying to get a job for what seems like forever. I finally get a call from an upscale restaurant, but I don't get the message until two days later and I am having a rough time trying to get ahold of this manager. From what I understand, they are only hiring bussers at this time. Unfortuantly, I suffer from degenerative disk disease and I really can't lift bus trays without my back going into spasms, yet I feel so desperate I told the manager I would do it. My husband is totally against the idea of me being in constant pain again, and he also doesn't want me to work nights since we live in Baltimore where people are getting killed and raped on a daily basis. We also live in a college neighborhood which is NOTORIOUS for muggings. With these limitations I feel like I will never get a job and I also feel like a shithead for not having a job for over a year when we are so financially screwed.
The apartment has also been in shambles and needs to be seriously cleaned and I feel like the worst wife in the world for letting it get to the level it is. To make matters worse, I have no room for all our clothes, so my clothes just are thrown on the floor of my closet. Not only is everything dirty with cat hair and dust, but one of my cats decided to piss on EVERYTHING! When I get too stressed, I just get catatonic and can't function properly. Apparently my husband has containers that I can stuff my clothes in, but I can never find shit and it is going to take a good three visits to the laundromat to get rid of this cat piss. And it is not like the piss is limited to the closet. Our lovely diabetic cat pisses somewhere in the house at least once a day, sometimes three or four. Sometimes you can't even figure out where he pissed, and other times even large amounts of bleach won't get the damned smell out of the air. Of course, we are so attached to the damned cat that we couldn't dream of getting rid of him, yet he makes my life a living hell and my husband is often yelling when he gets home that he smells cat pee.
My husband, although he doesn't seem to realize it, is REALLY stressed at his job and tends to take it out on me a bit. All he wants to do when he gets home is watch TV all night, which means that I need to shut up and not say a word to him basically. He is now getting on my case about the food I cook saying that he needs to eat more healthy and that I need to learn how to use a steamer which just adds more to my feelings of worthlessness. Still, he is the greatest husband in the world which makes me feel guilty that I am not more understanding of his stress, yet him telling me to shut up during his shows makes me feel lonely since all I want is a conversation. Yet, my OCD causes me to do nothing but repeat things 101 times like a parrot. The last thing I want to do is leave, yet my OCD is constantly telling me to run away and that I just can't take this pressure any more. Hell, it's my stupid medical bills that got us into this poverty, yet my husband certainly doesn't blame me for it.
I just feel like I am going off the deep end and the last thing I need is to end up back in the hospital with more medical bills...
You are right, baby steps will probably be best. Just one room at a time. Still, I feel as though as soon as one room is cleaned, it is trashed again the next day. And the cat hair/pee problem is truly all over the house and can't be put off.
I'm still very stressed out about the closet and most of all, the insurance issue. It looks like I am just going to have to pay off this bill, and hopefully the money won't set us back financially. The thing is, I really am stressed out about not being able to schedule an appointment with my doctor due to this insurance issue. I'm also kinda becoming a bit of a hyperchondriac due to problems my sister has had recently. Both her and my mom has had to get hysterectomies due to tumors, and my sister had severe complications with her surgery and nearly died. As a result, she has developed fibromyalgia and has to go into surgery again tomorrow to have her last ovary removed. They left it behind before due to her almost bleeding out. I am convinced that I am going to end up with whatever problem my mom and sister had, and the fact that I can't get this appointment is probably the main thing causing stress right now. And to make things worse, she is having severe side effects from a medication she is on and I am afraid she is getting hooked on narcotics. Every time I see her, she is nearly unconscious and in SEVERE pain. It hurts like hell to see her like that, and the shift in hormones that she experienced after the surgery has caused her to get panic attacks as well.
Anyway, I can't thank you enough for listening. I guess everyone just needs a good rant every once in awhile.