Hello! So I'm here to get some answers that I've been searching for even though this can trigger my anxiety... I really need to get some answers.

So, I've been having panic attacks since February 2017 and it has been the worst kind of pain I have ever felt, and the worst of it it's that it isn't just the panic attacks, when I have bad days, my mind races a lot and starts to search for something to cause me worry. 

In 2012 or 2013 (I don't remember the exact year it happened, I just know that I was 13) I commited a mistake. I told three friends of mine that I was dating someone I was not, but one of my friends discovered it was a lie and I stopped talking about that and got over it quickly, but, on February of the past year, I saw the person I told my friends that I was dating with and something inside of me triggered my anxiety. 

To get rid of the desperate anxiety, I told my two friends that it was a lie and that I commited a mistake and they were ok about it because I was just a kid. Well, the 5 minutes after I did that, I felt fine, but after those 5 minutes, my mind started to race a lot and search for something else for me to worry about, like intrusive thoughts, past mistakes (that I've never thought about because I got over them quickly), like seeing something out of place and getting anxious because I didn't put it right when I saw it and a lot of other stuff.

At first, I thought I was feeling guilty, but, a few months after, I started to feel like it's not that, there's something behind this and I need your help to discover what this is about because having all this anxiety it's really desperate and sometimes it can take my sleep away, I even thought already that the only way to stop it is to end it all. Help me because I can't find answers.

By the way, my psychiatrist prescribed me on July:

Alprazolam 

Escitalopram

And on the past month, she had to add another antidepressant because Escitalopram is not enough.

Thank you!