Hello! So I'm here to get some answers that I've been searching for even though this can trigger my anxiety... I really need to get some answers.
So, I've been having panic attacks since February 2017 and it has been the worst kind of pain I have ever felt, and the worst of it it's that it isn't just the panic attacks, when I have bad days, my mind races a lot and starts to search for something to cause me worry.
In 2012 or 2013 (I don't remember the exact year it happened, I just know that I was 13) I commited a mistake. I told three friends of mine that I was dating someone I was not, but one of my friends discovered it was a lie and I stopped talking about that and got over it quickly, but, on February of the past year, I saw the person I told my friends that I was dating with and something inside of me triggered my anxiety.
To get rid of the desperate anxiety, I told my two friends that it was a lie and that I commited a mistake and they were ok about it because I was just a kid. Well, the 5 minutes after I did that, I felt fine, but after those 5 minutes, my mind started to race a lot and search for something else for me to worry about, like intrusive thoughts, past mistakes (that I've never thought about because I got over them quickly), like seeing something out of place and getting anxious because I didn't put it right when I saw it and a lot of other stuff.
At first, I thought I was feeling guilty, but, a few months after, I started to feel like it's not that, there's something behind this and I need your help to discover what this is about because having all this anxiety it's really desperate and sometimes it can take my sleep away, I even thought already that the only way to stop it is to end it all. Help me because I can't find answers.
By the way, my psychiatrist prescribed me on July:
And on the past month, she had to add another antidepressant because Escitalopram is not enough.
i don’t want to be here anymore. I’m not good at anything, and I’ve been dealing with trauma my whole life. I don’t know what to do.
still trying to get my heart rate down. Started about an hour ago at work in the lab, had to leave for home. Couldn't drive. two of my coworkers took me home with my car and one of theirs to get back. so lucky to have them and their support.it started with an off colored sexual joke made by one of my coworkers during a break, that when I'm not like this, normally wouldn't bother me. But I am like...