I think there are cirumstances that could lead my husband to cheat, although I told him if he ever did, he better keep his mouth shut about it cuz I don't want to know about it. I truly mean it! I would rather live in happy oblivion thinking that my husband was wonderful than to have that shattered (even if it was the truth). I really don't worry about him cheating though, I think he is a faithful husband. Which, incidentally, makes me feel like even a bigger bitch!!

I' m with FrankLawyer, Folks, honestly, never say "never."

I don't think he would. I'm a social butterfly, he is usually quiet as a mouse until you get to know him. In fact, I encourage him to meet people, including women, and befriend them so that he can develop some schmoozing and social skills!!

If he did cheat on me, I would rather not know about it...maybe. You know, the more I think about it (and trust me, I've thought about this *a lot*), the more I would almost accept him cheating on me, mainly because I've cheated on him. Except...then it wouldn't be cheating if I did know about it. I'm talking alternative lifestyle here. I'm trying to wrap my mind around it, because after all, my mind is open. What if I could have encounters with my OM while he had encounters with a regular OW?

We have friends who are involved in an open relationship. It works very well for them. They enjoy being married (they're not technically married, but they have a child together), but they also have open opportunities to see other people...although it doesn't happen very often and if they do, they tell one another about it. It actually makes their sex life better. What about something like this? Could we sustain as a couple? I know I'm going to enjoy being married to my fiance, but what about a little lovin' on the side.....for both of us? I know it would take a very unique couple to do this.

Sorry if I offended anyone with these ideas. I'm simply curious, that's all.

Redlocks, I am not at all offended by your 'a little lovin' on the side comment. The issue with cheating is the betrayal and the LIES and sneaking around. One person believes he is in a monogamous relationship when in reality, he is in a threesome. If a couple decides they want other sex partners and it works for them, that is fine. Its the reality that one partner has been sneaking around,pretending and lying to your face day after day that causes the problem.

my old therapist blamed alot of it on the internet.. says the internet is ruining families every second of the day.. many addictions and temptations are tied to it

Well, you know what they say: Guns don't kill people. People kill people.

People cheated for many centuries before the internet. The internet may have made things a bit easier, but so did the printing press and personal ads.

i think thats what she meant was.... a hell of alot easier..

The invention of the machine gun w/ a silencer and w/ no license required.. only a monthly fee..

after my wifes affair, i wanted a get even fling. after seeing what her affair did to me, i could not do it to her. i would not have been able to live with the secret and not tell her if i did. and i do not view it as taking the high road either. i felt like i deserved the excitement of the thrill. instead, i blew some money on a spa weekend for us and new clothes for me. it was a good start after her affair.

Life holds no guarantees!!!

After going through what I did with my ex, I worked hard to pick a boyfriend who I feel is honest, loyal, faithful and is completely into me. He has been cheated on as well and knows how much it sucks and I don't think he would do that to me. He loves me and our baby and I honestly think that he wouldn't hurt me like I have been in the past. In addition, we are working really hard on preventing problems from arising like did in BOTH of our pasts by going to couples counseling before moving in together and before our baby is born.

Then again, I know that nobody expects to get cheated on and sometimes the people we trust the very most in the world hurt us. I hope I'm right.

NO, I was completely shocked when he told me... By respect for him went down to nothing!

Svdbylove, I can understand your therapist's views... but I tend to disagree. Before the internet it was the porn industry or maybe that devil's music or let's see... decline in church attendance.

My SO swears he'd never cheat. I guess the fact he can't think of a single instance where he could faulter makes me wonder how true he's being to himself.

I THINK I would/could forgive him if it was a physical affair, but emotional... that would be very difficult. I do think that is because these two are so seperate for me. I hear alot of others though saying that they couldn't have one w/o the other. One puts alot of effort into an emotional affair. You don't just accidentally fall in love w/ someone. It builds from a relationship. It suggests mental compatability and also an investment of time.

I'm very demanding of my SO's time, as in I love doing just about anything w/ him. To hear that perhaps someone else took my spot, did the same things w/ him as I... (we share many interests) it would hurt alot.

ps. I just thought of something though. Prior to this year, sex never was a big part of our relationship. lol I'm thinking that may be the reason why I THINK I could forgive that easier.

Perhaps soon my mind will catch up w/ our new relationship where it's physical and mental. :)

Uhm I think either one of us could cheat..I don't because I think about what comes with it all the heartache...He already has, and I think he might think a little before doing it again that or do his best to never let me find out. If he did I hope I would find out right away.

It's not in my husband's nature to cheat. But then again, I didn't think it was in my nature either. When push came to shove, I did. I suppose he has his limits too. I just hope he never has to be tested like I was, because I see how easy it is to fail.