Oppositional Defiant Disorder (ODD) Support Group
Oppositional Defiant Disorder (ODD) an ongoing pattern of disobedient, hostile, and defiant behavior toward authority figures that goes beyond the bounds of normal childhood behavior. When a child cannot seem to control his anger or frustration, even over what seems to be trivial or simple to others, the child will often react in violent or negative ways to his own...
I am a single mom who is trying to manage my 12 year old son who was recently diagnosed with ODD and ADHD. My son is currently on 20mg of Vyvanse in the morning. I'm not sure if it is helping. He is always very arguementive with me and his teachers. I take him to a counsler once a week and he is always exaggerating and making up crazy stories about me, to make me look like a horrible parent. He never follows directions,I have to stay on him to do anything,his behavior seems to get worse all the time. I feel so alone, I wish there was a support group I could go to for support. My son breaks everything the computer, his scooter, his bike, his phone, and I get so frusterated that I don't fix those items I just take them away cause I can't stand his terrible attitude!!! I don't know what else to do, I am worried about him, if anyone has any suggestions please let me know... I would appreciate it greatly!! Thanks this is soooo hard to deal with alone.
My heart goes out to you. My son just turned 16, and he also has ODD with a touch of ADHD(added to his diagnosis so that he could get "services").
I homeschool him and pulled him out of the public school in the middle of 6th grade, put him back in briefly in the 8th grade and pulled him back out again.
I found that our public school here added to our stress more than anything. You'd think that I would have been thrilled to have a break during the day, but with the trouble that he caused at the school and not doing his work, I was getting calls constantly. Plus, he was getting expelled, so I never knew what my situation was going to be from day to day.
Before I put him back in, I gave him the "Three strikes and you are out" speech. It only took a couple of months.
He works pretty well for me here at home, but of course, I have to be on top of him to get him to do it.
I work part-time and can pretty much make my own schedule, so that helps.
He goes to youth group and has some friends at our homeschool group, so that is also helpful.
As he has gotten a little older, he has started to care more about what I take from him.
When he was younger, he did not care. I took everything but his middle name. It didn't matter.
Now he cares about some social things like chatting on his PS3, on the computer and on the phone. I can use those things and even youth group to motivate him.
Your child is not going to change. You are going to have to learn how to motivate him and how to get him to think that it is his idea and in his best interest to do what he needs to do.
We went to counseling and it didn't really help him at all. But, it did make me feel like at least I was trying to get him help. We feel such guilt, because at times, it is hard to love these kids. It seems that their only goal is to make us as miserble as possible.
I have had some success with "The Total Transformation" program. It is more about changing your reactions and responses to his actions than anything. I think right now you can buy it, and get most of your money back for sharing your opinions about the program. I do not get any money from this company, but it is about the only thing that has helped us. http://www.thetotaltransformation.com/?dsource=googlebfdb&gclid=CO-5gImbwqcCFQY65QodNBW1BA
I have gone through the program about 6 times over the five or so years that I have had it. I go back through it so that I can be reminded of how I need to be in order to raise this son that I have, not the son I wish that I had.
Hang in there and keep looking for support. Not many understand the unrelenting challenge that we have with this type of kid.
Blessings to you.