My name is Vanessa and I just joined. Thank all of you for sharing so much of the intimate moments in your home. I found this site while Googling a local ODD support group. I had a feeling my 4 year old nephew might have ODD. As much as it terrifies me, after reading your posts, I can say this sounds exactly like what we see in him. The violence has escalated. He verbally assaults us. He is sneaky and super intelligent. He likes to hurt things to see the reaction. He cannot be told NO. Time outs lead to trauma. If something is taken away he says "good, I don't want it anyway." He bounces off the walls. He tells peole in the supermarket he's going to kill them. His sister can't walk in front of him on the sidewalk because in his mind that means "she won the race" and no one else can win anything but him. When he was 18 months old, he was non-verbal and had constant tantrums. He was diagnosed with PDD-NOS (Autism). Got early intervention, all the therapies in the world, and he's come a long way. I've spent years on Autism websites (learning from actual autistic people) and the older he gets...we really just don't see Autism. He's rigid, and violent, and easily frustrated, and purposely pees on himself right in front of the toilet. In addition to PDD he has a Sensory Processing Disorder. That is an understatment. We are a close-knit family and we have changed a lot of our lives around to try to meet his sensory needs. But still...none of that really explained what we were going through. Because how do you explain a 4 year old who tells strangers he wants them dead? And the other times, especially one on one, he is fascinating to talk to, and play with (as long as you follow his rules) and dare I say, kind funny, cute and sweet? So I guess it's easy to just focus on the positives and and say "give it more time for him to evolve," or give him more love, etc. But none of that is working. I think our biggest fear is that he's only 4. He's got super-human strength. My 11 year old niece (his sister) is always bruised and gets the brunt of his anger. She has ADHD and anxiety. My sister...God I have never seen someone stronger than she is. I don't know how she still gets up each day. Everything is a fight, a struggle. Now the calls from school are coming as they notice his violent play. The same things we've told them from the start but they couldn't do anything about because he didn't exhibit in school. Now he's been there a year, and treats those authority figures as he does the family. His curiosity knows no end, and it usually involves sharp objects. He hoards things. We thought he had OCD because nothing in his room can be touched. I could go on and on. I guess I came here hoping I'd read things that could show me he didn't have ODD. Instead, I find the opposite. But that's okay. I'm grateful for your wisdom. There is a long waiting list to get evaluated but he has his appointment in about a month to start the evaluation. Until then we just keep up with positive praise, trying not to scream (he seems to get a rise out of seeing others get angry or scream their heads off). The psych for my niece told my sister to start doing 123 Magic to set a routine with the family. We'll see how that goes... Really, I just wanted to say thank you for writing all the things you have about your own homes. I think we are just at the beginning of the journey and my goal is to stay hopeful and positive and proactive as long as possible. Because we love him to death. The main thing I don't think "others" can see, is that no matter how bad the physical or verbal abuse is that the child is spewing out, if you take a step back and see the child in that moment, they are so filled with pain. It really breaks my heart to see my nephew in those moments and not be able to help him. Thanks for listening.