Oppositional Defiant Disorder (ODD) Support Group
Oppositional Defiant Disorder (ODD) an ongoing pattern of disobedient, hostile, and defiant behavior toward authority figures that goes beyond the bounds of normal childhood behavior. When a child cannot seem to control his anger or frustration, even over what seems to be trivial or simple to others, the child will often react in violent or negative ways to his own...
I'm still really new to the site but have been able to find comfort in the fact that I am nt the only one going through these struggles. My son has had ODD since Kindergarten- now 9y.o and in 4th grade- we are in his 5th school. This school year we are already in his second school. The latest in a long line of medications is Adderall, which just like the others are about as helpful as giving him a gummy worm to help the behavior. The behavior issues are mainly at school- and range from throwing books, breaking desks, hitting teachers, leaving school grounds, swearing at teachers and other students to stabbing a teacher in her hand with a pencil and standing on the railing of the 2nd floor repeatedly with nothing to catch him but the cement floor. Whats the most frustrating to me is weeks like last week- where the reports from school were awesome- the behavior sheets they sent home were the best ever, polite, respectful, helpful-- followed by a return to the same thing- foul moth, refusal to follow in structions and multiple calls from the teacher about him needing to be picked up. Last weeks sudden good behavior was brought on I'm sure by the promise of trick or treating and being able to pick out whatever costume he wanted. Makes it even more aggravating to know he can turn it on and off at will.I've tried so many different things to try to gt a handle on this- rewards like being able to select something from our special prize basket when he has a good day at school- going some where special at weeks end- to consequences- being grounded, having favorite toys taken away, etc etc. But nothing really seems to help. I am trying to get him into a long term program for kids with similar problems here in my state- but it seems like its so far away and I feel like my sanity may give out before they give him a bed. I'm exhausted- I am basically going it alone- my family is supportive usually- but as a single mom ( dad may see him 3 times a year in a good year and a doesn't call)I am feeling very overwhelmed and stressed out again. I just want to get help for him before he ends up in jail or worse. At any rate - glad I found this site it helps to know its not just me.
deleted_user
Does your son also have add/adhd is that why the adderall was prescribed? You can't treat ODD with meds as far as I know because it isn't a chemical imbalance. That's going from what I've read and/or been told by dr's and "specialists"
deleted_user
Welcome to the site!! Sorry you are going through this :( My son is also 9 and it really pisses me off that he's so great in school but at home is a (S***). He has adhd in addition to ODD, and I've seen first hand what happens when parents indulge the ODD behavior. His bio dad has been in and out of prison and is now pretending to have a mental disorder that prevents him from getting a job. He got one at a fast food place (well what else are you going to get when you have less than an 8th grade education?) and conveniently had an anxiety attack and had to quit after his yearly half-monthly payment of child support was paid. anyway, enough of THAT sordid story. Michael has been doing very well lately but we are going to visit grandma in a couple hours for the weekend so we'll see what happens when we return. I am fortunate to have the school on equal footing with meand have finally gotten his doctor to see eye to eye as well and we just adjusted his adhd meds, concerta and straterra. I cannot have him teaching his lil sisters that it is ok to ignore what we say and our rules and that its ok to hurt the animals for fun and so on. Anyway, when I originally started typing this I was going to say, I think all of us are terrified of our children ending up in jail and not being able to give themselves the opportunity to grow into responsible, functioning adults rather than the lazy blame and shame kind. I know it's always in the back of my mind, like I'm racing the clock to convince Michael he wants to do this so he stays off drugs and out of jail, so he maybe goes to college and gets a job in a field that he excells in. Anyway, you're not alone and we're glad you are joining our community and we hope we can help each other
Nicolette72
Thank you jrdoodles for responding to my post- yes my son William also has been diagnosed with ADHD and Impulsivity. We just got a referral to see the same counselor we saw a few years ago from his psychologist-- the problem with that is this is the same lady who told me way back when he was in first grade that " this is just a phase and he will grow out of it". Lets hope we get a better response this time. The missing daddy in this picture is a major issue to me- its so clear based on the reactions that my son has on the few times a year he does see him- my son idolizes this deadbeat- who actually quit a well paying job when my son was about 2 y.o, so he wouldn't have to pay child support, and has gone on to have even more kids he does not support in any way- hasn't had a job since. I am trying to remain hopeful that between the inpatient program which lasts 6-12 months and seeing the counselor, something will begin to help.
deleted_user
I am sorry to hear of your challenges. As sad as I am that other people are suffering, it also is comforting to know that I am not the only one struggling. My daughter is only four and was diagnosed at three with ODD. Your description of your son's school is exactly what I fear for my daughter. She struggles greatly in group activities and will try to "spoil" things where she is not getting enough attention (which is essentially all the attention). School is so challenging with ODD. We had to switch preschools with my daughter. The school we switched to is a montessori school. We switched with eyes wide open about what was going on with our daughter. They have been excellent partners in working with our daughter. The challenge is that every kid is essentially on an IEP and so group learning isn't part of the curriculum. She does great in that environment, but convential school may not be an option for us. It cost an arm and a leg, but it may be the only way for her. Everytime we try group activites, I walk away frustrated, embarrassed and sad for my daughter. It is hard to suffer as parents with children with ODD, but I also feel so bad for her that this is the reality she lives in and will create for herself. At times I feel so powerless. Thanks for your comments. Knowing that there are others going through this helps.
deleted_user
Im in tears reading all of these replies. Most things described are the same feelings im feeling. I feel so helpless and this is not the life I want for my son!!! Thank you all so much for sharing your stories, God bless you and your families
deleted_user
Hi Nicolette have you ever thought of psychotherapy for him. research has proven how this type of therapy has yielded great results. Also what about a change in his diet ( no red/yellow dyes) and or a chiropractor for alignment( not too sure about this one though). Also maybe narrowing down his triggers and or cues can also be helpful. I am a behavioral therapist and have worked with the special needs population for 5 years or more. as a behavioral therapist it is my job to modify my client's behavior by being stern when needed, and giving praise when it is earned. Also prayer is one of our greatest tools however I dont know what is your belief system which would make all of the difference in the world. well good luck!
deleted_user
Delisahall, interesting that you mentioned going to the Chiropractor. Has this worked for anyone else? I have been thinking of taking my son.
deleted_user
I know it has worked with kids whom were diagnosed with autism and they were also juvenile delinquents. You should do an internet search on the topic or better yet ask for a consultation with a chiropractor and ask if the alignment will help with the disorder. If he or she says know dont stop there get a second or third opinion. there are also camps or academic institutions that accept such children. you might not desire to have your son live out of your home but sometimes we have to explore other options to help our children. my daughter became a serious juvenile delinquent and I had to get her some help which had resulted into her being detained for 3 months at a juvenile camp. it was well worth it because she does not want to go back and therefore she is more responsible and tries much harder to do the right thing.
Nicolette72
This sight has been a God send for me. William has been doing a lot better at school over the last 2 week- i think it may be do to the Adderall. I'm hoping to maintain this for at least a little while. This week he goes back to see his psychologist and we will also meet with a counselor there who specializes in behavioral management techniques which I hope will be helpful. Thank you to everyone for all the responses and suggestions- its nice to know I'm not alone in this.
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