Oppositional Defiant Disorder (ODD) Support Group

Oppositional Defiant Disorder (ODD) an ongoing pattern of disobedient, hostile, and defiant behavior toward authority figures that goes beyond the bounds of normal childhood behavior. When a child cannot seem to control his anger or frustration, even over what seems to be trivial or simple to others, the child will often react in violent or negative ways to his own...

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Children's Mental Health
/ Oppositional Defiant Disorder (ODD) Support Group

so, I say "NO...

Katten
Katten
...you can't play with your marbles in the kitchen - they'll just roll under the fridge and then they're gone; I'm not pulling out the fridge to find them again"

Boy goes MENTAL. Screams and swears at me, "f***ing BITCH!! I wish you'd DIE!! You are SOOO mean!! You always try to hurt your kids!! f*ck! F*ck! F*ck! You're the worst mum ever and I HATE you!!" and on and on and on...

Throws his marbles at me. Throws a chair across the room. Kicks on the walls and furniture. Bangs on the floor shouting 'through' the floor to the down-stairs neighbours "you go on!! Just listen to us", then looking up with blazing eyes, screaming that hahahaha now we'll be evicted!

And this is repeated EVERY blasted day... How can I not hate him? How?

I'm sorry for throwing all this at you. I just had to get it out.

So tired.

Hugs
K
deleted_user
deleted_user
well my daughter does not play with marbles, but the tantrum sounds exactly like my daughter of anything and everything, i totally understand where you are coming from. i deal with it daily as well, sometimes i get lucky and get 2 or 3 days where its ok but then back at it. one question how old is he? now my answers, how can you not hate him, i know sometimes its hard i feel the same way about my daughter, but even though i am about to rip out my hair, i think of something anything funny she did once before then i remember hwo much i do love her and how much i will again when the tantrum passes, no matter what anyone tells you, living through a tantrum of a child with ODD is one of the most difficult things we deal with. i have had more than my share. try mentally going to another time when they are in the middle of it, it helps me sometimes
Katten
Katten
Hey, Lessonoflife!!

THANKS for your lovely words!!! OF COURSE I LOVE HIM - you are absolutely right!!! It's just that sometimes... well, you know what I mean... But thanks for reminding me!! I guess it's just BECAUSE we love them that their behaviour is so hurtful...

My son is 8 years old - smack in the middle of five kids (the others are 14, 10, 6 and 4 - all boys) What about your daughter? Does she have any brothers or sisters?

Anyway. Right now I'm mentally preparing for the next battle when the kids get home from school in 15 mins or so. Wish me luck...

Lots and lots of hugs - and thanks for your support!!
deleted_user
deleted_user
I feel the same way about the hate. but it really isnt my daughter i hate but her behavior sometimes i can t separate the 2 tho. regretfully i have yelled back i hate you too. she has those kind of tantrums almost daily. I hate waking up in the morning, picking her up from school. I get physically sick from stress almost every day.
Katten
Katten
one word: EXACTLY!!! and the yelling back is the worst of it... :( :(
deleted_user
deleted_user
I haven't been on here in quite awhile but had a therapist tell me to praise the good behavior and ignor the bad behavior, I know what
you are thinking but it does work in due time. I had a really hard time one time when my son tore his room apart because I made him do his homework and I had to ignor the fact that he tore his room apart when I actually wanted to scream! When your child does something good praise them and when they are doing something bad ignor it.
deleted_user
deleted_user
NANCI unfortunately t hat does not always work, my wife ignores it and it does not help i makes her think she can do it anytime she wants at least for my case
deleted_user
deleted_user
This sounds exactly like what I deal with from my son on a daily basis. There is no happy medium with him. He finds ways to fight me, arguing over the most trivial things, blows up and escalates it to a crazy level almost instantly. I am working with a therapist for him, and he is on meds for ADHD, but it doesn't do any good for the ODD. He gets violent and I find myself trying to remember why I am fighting this daily fight with him. Its hard to love someone who behaves in such an unlovable way. I try to look for the glimpses of the sweet child that I see once in a blue moon, and remember that nobody will ever love this child as much as I can. This has been my struggle lately.