Oppositional Defiant Disorder (ODD) Support Group
Oppositional Defiant Disorder (ODD) an ongoing pattern of disobedient, hostile, and defiant behavior toward authority figures that goes beyond the bounds of normal childhood behavior. When a child cannot seem to control his anger or frustration, even over what seems to be trivial or simple to others, the child will often react in violent or negative ways to his own...
My son is 7 and has ADHD/ODD. He has a sister who is 4 who is very good. He was a cholicky baby, some language delay (fixed), lots of tantrums. After his grandpa died 6 months ago his behavior got violent often over small things, like picking up his coat. He would kick and scream and hit us, sometimes stopping short of throwing things at us. We thought it might be something in our parenting, but today he had the greatest day, everything went smooth, until at 5pm my wife called him for homework and he broke some Lego at the same time and he started hitting again, now also lifting a chair, lifting a glass table top a few inches. His sister got scared and my wife is close to calling the police because she can't control him.
I think his issue in these situations is that he perceives something very small to become this huge deal to get angry about, and his response instead of just talking about it again is totally out of proportion.
Is this some sensory issue? Is there a medication for it? Therapy? We already went through some anger management training with him and he knows the techniques, but when it hits him it's just too big to handle for him.
Any similar experiences out there? I know many of you have it much worse. Oh, and the one good thing: behavior in school is excellent, no trouble at all, just trouble focusing due to ADHD.
I think his issue in these situations is that he perceives something very small to become this huge deal to get angry about, and his response instead of just talking about it again is totally out of proportion.
Is this some sensory issue? Is there a medication for it? Therapy? We already went through some anger management training with him and he knows the techniques, but when it hits him it's just too big to handle for him.
Any similar experiences out there? I know many of you have it much worse. Oh, and the one good thing: behavior in school is excellent, no trouble at all, just trouble focusing due to ADHD.
- With ODD, you have to forget about the idea of imposing your parental will. You cannot win. The more you force an issue the more resistance you will get.
This is hard to take, I know.
------------------
- The perception of anger is a trigger for ODD behavior for many kids. Yelling, demanding or an authoritative tone is often counter-productive.
This is also hard, especially when your child is pushing all the wrong buttons.
Try to offer choices, like "which chore would you like to do?" or "when can we start your homework?" If you can make him think it's his idea, that's best.
---------------
This advice can go counter to much you think you know about parenting but once you can get your kid to improve a bit, you can start to learn what works. Sensory issues? Sure, sensitivity to bright lights or loud sounds can also be contributing. Watch for that and ask you boy. He knows what's going on in his own head.
Hope that helps.
We have tried to ask which chore he wants to do first and even that causes an explosion with him. We were so hopeful that his chore chart would work--again it's a diseaster. But we are sticking with it, no matter what--even if it takes us a year to figure out how to get it to work for him.
How do you work with a kid that refuses to talk about anything of importance about himself? He wont discuss things with NO ONE--if we ask him a question about how he feels or what he thinks about something he explodes. Any thoughts on how to get through a kid that is as tough as steal?