Dear Frustratedar: no, you are not alone!
So you are a teacher? May i ask you a question? If you had a kid in your class that was constantly bothering other kids, constantly rocking in his chair, constantly blurting things out. How would you handle that, considering you have an O.D.D. child?
By 3rd grade my son's teacher gently told me that we should try medication. He was a constant disruption, and i know this b/c i am a parent helper. He wore those poor teachers out. Finally at the end of 4th grade he was medicated. I was in shock--he was so quiet in the classroom it almost scared me.
Now i am re-thinking everything-but that's another story.
ABOUT YOU: It sounds like you will have to go outside the school to get proper counseling. I don't know all the specifics, but... You know, we are on our 5th therapist. And my wonderful school ALLOWS her to go there, take him out of class and even gave her a special room. (I LOVE our school) We did waste a lot of time with ineffective counseling... This new girl, she rocks! Am so grateful to her. What i am trying to say, is forget the contracted school counselor- it's not very professional of her to refuse working with your child. Keep looking! You are by no means stuck with her! You might even make a formal complaint-she is obligated by the state to help kids! And she is getting paid to do so!
Keep us posted~so many great people here on D.S.
Good luck!

Thank u so much for ur response. It is so great to hear from other parents w similar issues. I teach art so i am use to dealing w all kinds of kids. I think a medicine should not make a child completly silent. I would think they r over medicated. To me payiing attention and being totaly silence r two different things. A medicine should not make a child loose their personality.

I have an 11 yr old child who is ODD/anxiety/depression. His father did not want to get him on meds but eventually we got the lowest dose of Zoloft , OMG what a change, it helped him concentrate better, behavior was amazing, he's a sweet child anyways :) then he and his father thought he was doing so good lets take him off to see how he does... well u guessed it this year is a NIGHTMARE, having trouble with insurance, been dealing with them alot , finally got an apt for this wednesday to get him back on it, just enough to take the edge off to help him regain and focus more... school and homework right now is a bad problem, not all kids needs meds, we waited until 5th grade, now i wish I had not have waited, you can try behaviorl management, it does work to but when that stops working you have to keep going up to find out what is best for your child.and not all teachers want to work with you but you gotta be persistent

My son ison strattera and we just started intuativ. we recently tried a stimulant and it was horrible. He had a bad reaction. Really high blood pressure, and other stuff. He easily gets frustrated and has alot,of anxiety bout school. I think the intutiv is helping some. Ww have appt at childrens hospital for program that deals w odd, adhd, learning dis, but not till nov.