when i said sexual feelings i meant to say thoughts.... this scares me so much i love my son, but not in that way :( :( I AM NOT sexually attracted to children, please help!!! :'(

If you had these kinds of feelings towards you son you would not be freaking out about it you would enjoy it. Sexual predators and pediphiles enjoy what they do that's why they do it. It's your OCD. You know it's your OCD cuz your freaking out about it!

I agree and I too have obsessive unwanted thoughts in the way you do. The key as already said is that you have a conscience and that these are unwanted, obsessive thoughts. Acknowledge that these are unwanted thoughts and that you have a conscience and will not act on them. My way of dealing with unwanted thoughts is to distract my mind so that I do not continue dwelling on these thoughts which come unwarranted into the mind. I hope that this technique might help you to deal with this common OCD problem.

Morning, I encourage you to do soem research on anxiety. Be careful what you read, but there is a lot of helpful information regarding the symptoms of an anxious mind. These thoughts you speak of are reacurring because your mind is trying to nullify the feelings of guilt and shame. I read a stroy about a dog that was abused through its life. It became so anxiuos that it would try to bite everyone or anything that approached it. The author of the article was explaining that our minds are not all that different. When we have anxiety our minds will try to absolve the anxiety by blaming the thoughts ON THINGS THAT ARE NOT TRUE; the reason for this is the self preservation switch in our heads. It does this when the conscious mind cannot not find a reason for the anxiety. I know this sounds like a bunch of theoretical BS, but it makes sense. This can absolutely explain why you are having thoughts that you cant even associate yourself with. THrough my battle with OCD i learned that my anxiety was caused by guilt and shame and a lack of love in my life as a child. I grew up feeling less. I didnt think I was worth loving or being loved. The thoughts you have are a smoke screen for the real problem at hand. Do some soul searching you'll be surprised what you might find. Rest assured you would never act on the very thoughts you hate.
God Bless

Morning Sadness, I can relate to what you are going through and have experienced the very same thing with my now 4 year old daughter. You are not a pedophile, you have OCD. Are you in treatment currently? CBT is what saved me. Meds only work so much, you need to really invest the time in doing the therapy piece.

You may also want to look into ERP therapy. I have read that it can be used as a self-help. Basically it desensitizes you to the intrusive thoughts. I tried it alittle on my lunch break. I noticed a big difference after just 5 or ten minutes. Look into it; it may help alot. Can't run from this stuff forever..(:

I think that you're OCD for continuing to think about how bad you feel, so I completely agree with mcdgirl07. I think that the love you have for your son is being confused for a sexual attraction. The love you feel has nothing to do with sex, because you would never act on it. Seeking some one-on-one therapy could be helpful, or possibly a weekend away just for yourself, to 'clear' your head.

Don't hate yourself for these feelings, they DO NOT make you a bad person or mother.

Hi Morning Sadness.

I have a similar form of OCD, my thoughts focus on children too. I have felt so relieved being on this site and finding out there are plenty of good people out there who suffer the same thing. The feeling you get is called a "phantom feeling". Basically, you are so scared of it being true, your mind makes up all sorts of things. What you focus on, increases. You need to find a good therapist who can help convince you that you are absolutely not "wired" this way, it is your mind tricking you. I know that I was convinced by my mind that this was true, I was so terrified of being around kids! Its such a relief to know it was my mind playing tricks. Good luck and feel free to get in touch if you want to chat:)

Hi Morningsadness

You know I have the same kind of fears and when I told my therapist about my fears she asked me.."When you have these thoughts do you think I'm scared i'll be a pedophile? or do you think I want to do that?" and I automatically said NO! I don't want to do that! I'm afraid i'll turn into someone like that. And she looked at me and said "You are NOT a pedophile, nor will you become one." and she read me the medical term of how pedophile's are and it helped in a way to hear that and be like in my mind, yeah that's NOT me. Going to the facts you know. & the same is with you! Like mcdgirl said if we were like that, we wouldn't be bothered by it, you know.

I think or I know for me there's a lack of trust in myself when I have a strange thought it's not easily brushed off like "Oh I wouldn't do that, next thing!" it's "Could I could do that? would I really do that?" and so it continues. I was in a emotionally abusive relationship where I had to constantly try and convince this person I was a good person & worthy of his love, he enjoyed making me feel like nothing and a monster. I think this is where my shame comes from and from my parents but that's a whole other thing. Basically, It's like I'm still in that mind frame of convincing myself i'm a decent person & wouldn't hurt someone. Maybe it's the same for you in a way?

I was sexually abused as a young child and I wonder if there is a link there somehow, like we were so hurt by this being done to us, we're afraid we could inflict the same kind of pain on someone else?

I don't know these are just my thoughts..I'm always analyzing why why why why..I guess if you don't ask, you'll never know.

@sgates well said! thanks for your post, helped a lot!

Hope this helps & like everyone said some therapy will def help!! Take good care:)