Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) Support Group

Obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD) is a psychiatric disorder, more specifically, an anxiety disorder. OCD is manifested in a variety of forms, but is most commonly characterized by a subject's obsessive (repetitive, distressing, intrusive) thoughts and related compulsions (tasks or rituals) which attempt to neutralize the obsessions.

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Jaxswife4ever 06/20/2009

I am having a real down moment right now, and I just need to vent. I am crying right now as I right this post. I am tired of having ocd, I am tired of it ruining my life. I want help and I dont know where to turn. I was so desperate that I almost took someones prozac that I worked with. I just kept thinking who cares about the conciquinces, I would sell my soul to the devil to just be normal for a change. I have prayed to God to make me normal. I have even tried going to mental health and my shrink left me. She just stoped meeting with me with out any notice.
When does it get better, and why do I have to be cursed with this diese? Am I really such a bad person that I deserve this? What scares me the most is that I may pass this to my kids. I wont do that, I refuse. I feel like, well, I feel like less than human. I feel like I should be locked up in a mental house. I just want to be normal, oh just even for one day. My family deserves that. Sometimes when I feel like this, it gets so bad that I just stop caring. I start thinking about what is important and what I want out of life and after about an hour it passes and I start to care again, and then I start to feel better. It is a vicious cycle and I cant stand it, my scares go way deeper than any knife could reach. Listen to me ramble, sorry about that. I just cant take this ocd any more. I want pills or to be hypnatized or something. I dont care if I walk around like a zombie, as long as I am normal.

deleted_user 06/20/2009

I sit here crying, dealing with the same thing. I right now don't know what to do anymore.

As I get older my OCD gets worse and I'm only 20.
You're not alone.

HappyChic727 06/20/2009

I'm sorry that your shrink did that to you. Don't let that stop you from getting the help that you so desparately need and deserve. Medicine can help with OCD so maybe it is time to try medicine. There are many to try so if one doesn't work, it is very possible that another may help big time and you will be writing a nice happy post on here. I have had OCD since I was 19 and am now 50 but that doesn't mean that I believe that I will always have it. I just believe that I haven't really dealt with whatever issues really bother me deep down. Once they are resolved, I think the OCD will take a hike. I had been in remission for a long time on Zoloft so you might want to try that first. My regular doctor switched me to Wellbutrin because I kept complaining about my weight and he thought that Zoloft was responsible but now I haven't lost any weight and my OCD has returned. I wanted to get off of medicine altogether but I don't think that's a choice and I am shopping for a new doctor to manage my medicine. Best of luck to you and I hope you are feeling better soon.

Jaxswife4ever 06/20/2009

I tried zoloft and it didnt really work, but I only took it for like a month or so. Maybe something else will work. Thank you ladies for the support.

deleted_user 06/21/2009

I had to try about 6 or so meds to find that worked best. One made me feel like a human slug WITH anxiety, One gave me horrid dreams and had me seeing shadows or something. I hated trying new meds because EVERYTIME I would become super nauseous and super fatigued.I looked into hypnotism and dam that's expensive! I tried drowning myself in alcohol...not the wisest choice either. I thought about death like a zillion times a day. I would have settled for a partial lobotomy. har har...There were times I literally fantasized about being committed to a mental institution with a morphine drip. Yah, I had it bad! Right now, I'm using Paxil. I was taking Lexipro and it worked great till my hormones went a little wacky because of perimenopause. Ok, ALOT whacky. So far, the Paxil and Buspar (sounds like the name of some nightclub.....The Buspar..)I still get "moments" of OCD and GAD, but it doesn't last for days on end. A serotonin deficiency or chemical imbalance just can't be fixed by a shrink alone. Just like a person with diabetes can't just merely lay off cake, ya know? I'm almost 50 , so I'm "old hat" at this mood disorder. And believe me, it is treatable once ya find the med that suits your body chemistry. I definitely laugh more.

Jaxswife4ever 06/21/2009

thank you, I am going to try to find a shrink tomorrow.

deleted_user 06/21/2009

OCD is really frustrating, but you CAN get better. I'm glad that you are looking for a new therapist. What your previous therapist did was horribly unprofessional, and likely didn't have anything to do with you. As for meds, they can help A LOT, just be patient to find the right one. Hang in there!!

deleted_user 06/22/2009

I think we all go through things in life to learn and experience. It is like a test. and we are very strong individuals for taking this test. You need to find you a diff. psychiatrist to help you and to work through this with you.

and remember there is no "normal" everyone has problems (i have to remind myself all the time) it is tough and scary (this OCD) it is never ending and somedays unbearable.

I have been on several diff. medications and still haven't found the right one. I am praying and hoping for something to work.

I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers. Stay strong and know you are not alone in this fight!

deleted_user 06/22/2009

im really sorry that you are going through this. but you should look into the linden method. google it online. it may really help you a lot. Even just reading their website may really help. There is hope don't ever forget that.

deleted_user 06/22/2009

I understand completely. Not even two weeks ago I just wanted to die and not live anymore the thoughts were awful and i felt so guilty for having them. Like whats wrong with me. But then i realized it was nothing nothings wrong with us except for some stupid messed up chemicals in our heads. I was put on lexapro and so far it has worked wonders i still have thoughts but i don't worry so much and i now know from all the wonderful people on this site that i'm not alone. I've only taken the lexapro for about 2 1/2 weeks so if god allows it when it fully gets in my system I will feel even better. Please just know that your not alone and if you can handle this without any meds you are way stronger than me. Your going to get through this and we are here to help.

deleted_user 06/24/2009

hi
seems like yr ocd is really huritng...
i totally relate .im not so much here now but last year at this time i had thoughts jsut like this.they eventually passed..
these things always do.rememeber that.i know about not wanting to feel anything.seems u are a very sensitive person as most of us w/ocd are.we feel things differently ,overly sensitive to ppl,things perhaps.but on the good side when things are better we can really feel the beauty..u will be there again...for now i support yr seeking another therapist.what she did ,nah,not personal ,ive had similar treatment.
healthcare can sometimes feel impersonal.
good luck!!

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