Hi Katie, not sure if you would be interested in chatting with me but I will explain to you my situation. I do not have OCD but my 7 year old son has severe OCD, he was diagnosed as having a generalised anxiety disorder at age 4, but started experiencing ocd at age 7 December last year (2008). I would love to hear about your experiences.

I have severe ocd as well. My symptoms started up at the age of 4 but didn't get really bad until after I turned 6. I agree with you completely about there being a big difference between severe OCD sufferers and those with a milder form of it and so I think that establishing connections between us is a good idea. I'm here any time you need to talk

Katie,

I am big believer in YBOCS test and how it tells us where we are in OCD world. I also agree there is a HUGE difference between a "sub-clinical" or "mild" OCD sufferer and those that are "severe" or extreme". I have many, many personal experiences to know this.

I was "extreme", in retrospect (did not have YBOCS then), when I was in late teens and early 20's. I was 'severe" thru rest of 20's and most of 30's. I now come out as "moderate" on YBOCS test but my GAD is getting worse along with 6 yr old unknown physical illness.

It can be frustrating for an extreme or severe OCDer with mutliple symptoms to interact with OCDer with one mild symptom. Of course, I learned long ago not to argue about who has suffered more because even people with mild OCD feel they have suffered so much. However, this still does not stop me from getting into fights about it. Hahahaha......learning/knowing and doing are different things for me and tough for me to do.

Of course, the depression, low self-esteem, self-hatred and lack of confidence that comes along with severe or extreme OCD is no picnic either.

Like Ridethewave, my OCD has varied in intensity. It became serious at age 16-17, and transformed into an extreme form, like a hurricane, from ages 18 1/2 to 20. I was practically unable to move many times. Stepping back and forth over 1 square foot of pavement outside in public, for several mintues at a time even under the curious glares and comments of passerby, or doing so at night while walking home, for maybe an hour at a time. I was so resistant to moving on, to letting the fear exist; I was deadset against any of my thoughts being voiced in my mind. I had to suppress them at all costs, erase them, and by staying still, re-doing my steps, down to the most minute detail, I could achieve this (and nothing else in life, I learned). Actually I could not achieve it. Only intensified it with my compulsions. Therefore, I made a pact with myself that, by age 21, I would ease my OCD into a more moderate form, and allow the thoughts to float and not be hampered by them so much, at any cost. I allowed myself to be guilty of thinking them, to let them contaminate me.

I achieved this, but the OCD moved inwards, whereby it became a predominantly internal, mental obsessions driven disorder for many years up to the present time. I have ups and downs, depending on other variables, like fatigue, overwork, sex, etc. I am physically very sensitive and afraid, even though I work in a kitchen and run semi competitively. And the feeling of guilt and shame are often just below the surface, swimming like a predator shark.