I had similar issues. I had anxiety and dpression really bad and actually was afraid to go home after work one night for fear of hurting or killing my family. I actually pulled my truck to the shoulder of the road and seriously thought about calling the police and having them come and get me to lock me up. That is was the tip of the iceberg for me and I decided to get on medication. It has helped me tremendously. I am not an advocate of medications in anyway. Actually I struggled for a long time on the idea of taking them. I read alot of good and bad about dep/anxiety meds. I am also OCD along with depression and anxiety. Some of us are lacking serotonin and other important chemicals that our body needs. These meds can help replace. Dont know where you are at with meds but something to think about. Also talk to a Dr . I dont think you are crazy. I know how you feel though. Keep us posted .We are here to help.

I have those same kind of thoughts myself. Go get the book "Imp of the mind" and I know you will understand and feel better.

Thank you both for your responses.

Most ocd people think they are crazy at some point. I know I do. But you have a reassurance compulsion so try this. Try telling yourself maybe you are crazy. Maybe it's not ocd it's skitzophrenia. You are going to feel very VERY anxious when you think this (that proves it's ocd btw, because it makes you feel anxious). But keep with it and do nothing about it. Don't try to judge it, rationalize it, or find out if it's really true or not. Just let it be in your mind and kind of hang out there. Once it's there enough it will stop causing the distress that makes your brain think it's so important you know? It will be a boring thought.

I have pure O too and I think it's the hardest thing in the world but don't give up. It might take months or it might only take weeks, but if you keep facing down your fears it will get so much better.

Thanks for your responses everyone.
All I do is think about being schizophrenic now. And it's so debilitating
I really hate it :(

my therpaist told me this is something called intrusive thoughts...you have to remember they are just thoughts not actions

I have had and struggle with scary sad thoughts that freak me out too...I'm so ashamed I can't even discuss them. During a period of depression I became obsessed about a person I knew who was very mentally ill with schizoprenia. He was always in my head and my dreams. I was so scared that I was going to be just like him. Funny thing is he seemed ok with how he was. I was just terrified about just the thought though.....Anyway, try to remember you are NOT alone, when I say that to myself it helps....its really true though, even if it's hard to believe when the suffering seems so unbearable.

I did the worse thing to myself today.
I listened to this video of what it sounds like in a schizophrenics head, and ever sense ive done that, ive been imagining it. I am so scared. :( It made me feel better for the first five minuets after hearing it, but now i feel like shit, and like its happening to me. I mean i said to my friends mom, I DONT HAVE IT....and the way it sounded scared the crap out of me....I SOOO STUPID....i fed into the OCD big time. :( Now what do i do?

Hi MorningSadness00
I feel for you and I care.
I think if you didn't do already to talk to somebody you can trust and you believe is understanding about your worries. Its somewhat hard to explain what I mean since I don't really know you. If I offended you I apologize. It does sound from what you wrote on your most recent message you're going through extreme anxiety. I get the impression you're looking for reassurance and I'm thinking you need to seek somebody who can give that to you.

I wish I could help but the same thing happened to me except I wasn't intentionally looking up about skitzophrenia at the time, it was just a news clip. I know now that I can't even handle watching the news. Maybe someday I will but not now. I constantly worry that I am or will be going crazy at some point in the future. I honestly don't even want to have more kids because I worry that I will get postpartum psychosis. I know the risk is small but I don't care it still scares me to the point I won't risk it.

I read that if you have a thought like I'm going crazy you should just run with it and not argue it. But then I think yeah but that's what people who are really going crazy do - they just accept the thought so I'm gonna fight it like heck and that will prove that I'm NOT crazy. Make sense? My stepdad is schizophrenic and even though when he was properly medicated he accepted that fact and didn't particularly like it, he never freaked out about being crazy and was never really convinced that he was. AND when he was in the midst of having an episode you l literally could NOT convince him he was acting or thinking crazy. You couldn't even make him doubt it!!

#1 you are not crazy. We have ruled this issue out. I agree with most of the comments; i am sure they have been helpful to you and myself. The thoughts you have are reassuring thoughts; your mind is constantly checking these thoughts for danger. This is why it seems like they are voices or intrusive thoughts. Insecurity breeds this thought pattern; we are creating these thoughts. I encourage you to let the thoughts come and go; this is the only way your mind can be rewired to not see them as a threat. This will take time, but it is worth it. The more we try to shun the thoughts the scarier they become. I pray now in Jesus's name that He give you the strength to trust in the truth rather than the fear; you can and will overcome this.
God Bless you
My heart cries for you, for I have been through what you feel.

Thank you so much for your response sgates..