Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) Support Group
Obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD) is a psychiatric disorder, more specifically, an anxiety disorder. OCD is manifested in a variety of forms, but is most commonly characterized by a subject's obsessive (repetitive, distressing, intrusive) thoughts and related compulsions (tasks or rituals) which attempt to neutralize the obsessions.
Hello:
I know its been a long time since I've written. Sorry, its been so long. My life has been busy and stressful these last few months. Lately, I have been having a difficult time with my obsessions and compulsions. The obsessions and compulsions are about the same, yet they get more difficult and troublesome by each day. Most of my obsessions and compulsions are in the bathroom. The rest are around the house. The progress is slow, but I am trying my best to get better and overcome, stop doing these obsessions and compulsions.
In particular, the most troublesome obsession makes me feel crazy, frustrated and stupid.I know, that I am not stupid, it just feels that way sometimes. It is where, I sit on the toilet for a long time after, I am finished using the toilet. It is made up of the compulsions It sometimes 30-50 minutes, at most an hour. I have been trying to quit this ritual, going on 4 years now. I am determined to quit, I just need to have inner will and confidence. I know I can do it, just a matter of believing in myself.
I use an excessive amount of toilet paper because I fear that I am still wet and I'll never be dry enough. I do not want to hurt myself, just This is so stupid and such a waste of time. I definitely want to stop doing this unneccessary, hurtful ritual. I check to see if I flushed the toilet, after already flushing it once which is stupid and annoying. When I wash my my hands, I wash them excessively with more than one shot of toothpaste. I am tired of seeing my gums bleed and my teeth feel sore. I am determined to stop this toothbrushing ritual.
Next, I take long showers and baths. I wash then and then rinse off at least 2-3 times, when once is enough. I use large amounts of face wash(Noxema) because of the OCD fear that my face is not ever clean enough and that a small amount is not enough. I wash my hair with large amounts of shampoo and conditioner, washing my hair at least two times, because of the OCD fear that my hair is never clean enough and small amount is not enough. When I take baths, I have an obsession with shaving twice instead of just once. I shave to where I get nicks and cuts.
I think that once is not enough and obsess that I can't miss any hair. . This shaving ritual is so totally ridicoulous, I do not have to look perfect to look attractive and I don't need to suffer with irritated skin. Once is enough.
I also use hot water excessively, drying out my skin, leaving it itchy. My last bathroom obsession is where I pick at my skin and I also pull and pick facial hair.I know I need to totally quit doing this, no matter how much my skin itches. It is just that this ritual has become an addicting one. I do not want any more scars on my face and my face feeling pain from pulling hair. I dislike having unwanted hair on my face and body, but I don't like hurting myself.
Outside of the bathroom, I sometimes have days where I'll check to see if the front and back doors of the house are locked more than once. When I am done cooking, I check to see if I have turned off the oven or stovetop knobs. I check to see if the lights are turned off, before leaving the house.
I am currently on Zoloft. Anyways, happy, belated 4th of July, I hope it was spectacular. Sorry to sound like a total basketcase. I know there has to be hope and a rainbow at the end of the storm.
Take Care,
Silkroad
I know its been a long time since I've written. Sorry, its been so long. My life has been busy and stressful these last few months. Lately, I have been having a difficult time with my obsessions and compulsions. The obsessions and compulsions are about the same, yet they get more difficult and troublesome by each day. Most of my obsessions and compulsions are in the bathroom. The rest are around the house. The progress is slow, but I am trying my best to get better and overcome, stop doing these obsessions and compulsions.
In particular, the most troublesome obsession makes me feel crazy, frustrated and stupid.I know, that I am not stupid, it just feels that way sometimes. It is where, I sit on the toilet for a long time after, I am finished using the toilet. It is made up of the compulsions It sometimes 30-50 minutes, at most an hour. I have been trying to quit this ritual, going on 4 years now. I am determined to quit, I just need to have inner will and confidence. I know I can do it, just a matter of believing in myself.
I use an excessive amount of toilet paper because I fear that I am still wet and I'll never be dry enough. I do not want to hurt myself, just This is so stupid and such a waste of time. I definitely want to stop doing this unneccessary, hurtful ritual. I check to see if I flushed the toilet, after already flushing it once which is stupid and annoying. When I wash my my hands, I wash them excessively with more than one shot of toothpaste. I am tired of seeing my gums bleed and my teeth feel sore. I am determined to stop this toothbrushing ritual.
Next, I take long showers and baths. I wash then and then rinse off at least 2-3 times, when once is enough. I use large amounts of face wash(Noxema) because of the OCD fear that my face is not ever clean enough and that a small amount is not enough. I wash my hair with large amounts of shampoo and conditioner, washing my hair at least two times, because of the OCD fear that my hair is never clean enough and small amount is not enough. When I take baths, I have an obsession with shaving twice instead of just once. I shave to where I get nicks and cuts.
I think that once is not enough and obsess that I can't miss any hair. . This shaving ritual is so totally ridicoulous, I do not have to look perfect to look attractive and I don't need to suffer with irritated skin. Once is enough.
I also use hot water excessively, drying out my skin, leaving it itchy. My last bathroom obsession is where I pick at my skin and I also pull and pick facial hair.I know I need to totally quit doing this, no matter how much my skin itches. It is just that this ritual has become an addicting one. I do not want any more scars on my face and my face feeling pain from pulling hair. I dislike having unwanted hair on my face and body, but I don't like hurting myself.
Outside of the bathroom, I sometimes have days where I'll check to see if the front and back doors of the house are locked more than once. When I am done cooking, I check to see if I have turned off the oven or stovetop knobs. I check to see if the lights are turned off, before leaving the house.
I am currently on Zoloft. Anyways, happy, belated 4th of July, I hope it was spectacular. Sorry to sound like a total basketcase. I know there has to be hope and a rainbow at the end of the storm.
Take Care,
Silkroad
Good luck!
Yes, I am seeing a psychologist who specializes in treating people with OCD since sometime in November,2009/beginning of 2010. Yes, I can try to reduce the amount of time, I stay in the bathroom, by a minute each day. I have tried using a kitchen timer, off and on since 2010 and I usually end up going over the time. Yet, there has been sometimes where I've actually been able to get out of the bathroom before, the timer goes off. I feel that I can reduce the time by working on, having a positive mindset and giving myself encouragement and actually watching the time, by having a clock in the bathroom. Thank you, for your support.
Silkroad
All the best.