Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) Support Group
Obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD) is a psychiatric disorder, more specifically, an anxiety disorder. OCD is manifested in a variety of forms, but is most commonly characterized by a subject's obsessive (repetitive, distressing, intrusive) thoughts and related compulsions (tasks or rituals) which attempt to neutralize the obsessions.
Hi,
So my main issue is that I suffer from a lot of intrusive thoughts, and that the only way to prevent them from actually coming true are my compulsions.
But lately sometimes I feel like the only way to keep the "bad stuff" from happening is if I kill myself. Like it'd be better for the world if I wasn't around constantly almost causing these bad things.
I know it's irrational, but it's getting really bad really fast and I have no idea what to do.
So my main issue is that I suffer from a lot of intrusive thoughts, and that the only way to prevent them from actually coming true are my compulsions.
But lately sometimes I feel like the only way to keep the "bad stuff" from happening is if I kill myself. Like it'd be better for the world if I wasn't around constantly almost causing these bad things.
I know it's irrational, but it's getting really bad really fast and I have no idea what to do.
Firstly, I want to say it sounds like you are dealing with a lot right now. I am so glad you have reached out on here because I know that is not always an easy thing to do. It takes courage to ask for help.
I know that I do not know you and I don't know your situation exactly, but I wanted to say that I have been through something very similar recently. I started getting intrusive thoughts and just like you, believed the only way I could prevent the bad things from coming true was to do compulsions. I also had thoughts that everyone would be better off if I just killed myself because I truly felt I was responsible for bad things happening. I seriously contemplated suicide.
I am writing about this in past tense, but it is still going on. However, with this particular obsession, things have improved greatly in the past few months.
I tell you my story because I want you to know that things will get better. I know it is hard to believe when you are in the thick of things. But I hope that by me telling you my experience, I can make it more believable for you that you too will get better.
You were put on this earth for a purpose. You may not know what that purpose is yet, but you are here for a reason. The world would not be the same without you here. Please know that you are loved and cared about and now you have one more person on your side: me. I am rooting for you and will be here to support you. Please just let me know how I can help and I will be more than happy to do anything I can.
I am wondering if you are able to get help for your struggles. Are you seeing a therapist? OCD can be really debilitating, but it is highly treatable.
Please don't give up. I know you can make it through this and will be even stronger for it.
If you think things are getting a lot worse, I suggest that you reach out to someone and tell them how you are feeling, stay safe.