Hi, new to the group! I have just realized I may have had OCD for most of my life. I get treated for anxiety and depression but never have realized, or even talked about, these other symptoms. I've had recurring and changing obsessions all my life. For years I was obsessed with thinking I was getting Schizophrenia, to the point of thinking I was hearing voices (I really wasn't). I thought about it all the time. For a while (it's so silly, I know) I had a fear of spontaneous human combustion. Then I went through a period where I was terrified any drink I bought was laced with something. If I couldn't remember hearing the seal break, I couldn't drink it. 

Then I was diagnosed with panic disorder, started Paxil, and most of that obsessing went away. Until the past couple of years. I'm still on Paxil, but life has gotten a lot more stressful. I have a difficult child, and I find that I have begun more and more to obsess about controlling my environment. It "hurts" to see untidyness, open cabinets and drawers, things on the floor. All day I am trying to make order. Lint-rolling everything. I am at a breaking point: we've been battling a lice outbreak in my daughter, fleas and tapeworm in my cat, and I feel itchy and dirty all the time no matter what I do or how many showers I take. I pick at my skin a lot, I've had hives for the first time, and I just feel like everything is so out of control. On top of all that, I just feel like the worst failure as a wife and mom because I can't keep it all under control. I resent my husband because he doesn't "see" all the dirt. Which I know is irrational. Is this OCD?? Can anyone relate to this? I just want my life back.