Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) Support Group
Obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD) is a psychiatric disorder, more specifically, an anxiety disorder. OCD is manifested in a variety of forms, but is most commonly characterized by a subject's obsessive (repetitive, distressing, intrusive) thoughts and related compulsions (tasks or rituals) which attempt to neutralize the obsessions.
I recently became involved in a long distance relationship. At times I feel that it can be very challenging. My boyfriend and I communicate via email and msn. He knows that I have OCD and is very supportive.
What I find is the worse is when there is a break in communication. Which usually happens because of the internet being down or because of our busy lives we don't often get to talk each day or for as long as I like. I can usually control the urge to verify that he isn't lying to me for about 2 days and then things get out of control. I begin to get depressed or confused.
He has a medical condition called Alagille Syndrome. On several occasions we have talked about the future. We have been together for about a month. It sounds crazy. And when I think about how much we are alike, I get confused. He has told me he loves me,but I am unsure about how I feel. When there is a break in communication I get confused, but when we get to talk again I am so happy. Sometimes I wonder if I am in love with him,the idea of him or if he is just an obsession.
I would like some advice about what to do next. My therapist is currently on vacation and my next appointment is about two weeks away. A very close friend of mine is also away. I have only told a few people about the relationship. Not because I am ashamed but because part of me wonders what they will think or how I will tell them. I would greatly appreciate any comments.
Hannah
What I find is the worse is when there is a break in communication. Which usually happens because of the internet being down or because of our busy lives we don't often get to talk each day or for as long as I like. I can usually control the urge to verify that he isn't lying to me for about 2 days and then things get out of control. I begin to get depressed or confused.
He has a medical condition called Alagille Syndrome. On several occasions we have talked about the future. We have been together for about a month. It sounds crazy. And when I think about how much we are alike, I get confused. He has told me he loves me,but I am unsure about how I feel. When there is a break in communication I get confused, but when we get to talk again I am so happy. Sometimes I wonder if I am in love with him,the idea of him or if he is just an obsession.
I would like some advice about what to do next. My therapist is currently on vacation and my next appointment is about two weeks away. A very close friend of mine is also away. I have only told a few people about the relationship. Not because I am ashamed but because part of me wonders what they will think or how I will tell them. I would greatly appreciate any comments.
Hannah
hope you are going ok.long distance relationships can be challenging at the best of times. even people without OCD, can be obsessed and worried about the honesty of the boyfriend or girlfriend. i think everyone also gets confused in relationships its a normal part of them and its ok to feel that way.
i think love comes from time and experience and although you probably really like each other and have special feelings for each other,but you are probably still both getting to know each other. if you enjoy each others company and he makes you happy then thats good and maybe try not to disect and examine the relationship to closely, just enjoy it for what it is and take it day to day.
i think obsession can come into relationships in a way, ill give you an example of a relationship i once had. at this point in my life i had quite bad OCD and lots of anxiety. i had very low self esteem and was lonely. i started going out with a boy and he made me so happy, i thought about him and wanted to see him all the time. he was the main thing that made me happy in my life at the time. i needed his reassurance all the time and i hated it when he didnt sleep in my bed at night. needless to say that relationship didnt end very well, the main reason being i wasnt happy with myself to begin with. i relyed on someone else for my own happiness. im in another relationship now and i entered it feeling confident and happy, i love it when we are together, but i also dont mind if we are apart because i also have other things in my life that keep me busy and happy. my OCD still raises its ugly head now and then and i worry if my boyfriend has been lying to me, to work through this i write him a letter explaining all my thoughts and fears and by the time i go and see him my worries are gone and i dont even need to give him the letter.
i think its important that you enjoy your time communicating to him, but also try to enjoy that time that you dont. just try to distract yourself at first go for a walk, see friends, go to the movies, watch your favourite program. then maybe take up a hobby, that makes you feel happy. just being busy generally is good. its also important to tell him calmly how you re feeling, just so he understands what is going on with you.
when you feel really anxious, depressed and confused write it all down, or share your thoughts on this site or with people around you that you trust, keeping things bottled up is the worst. Dont worry about what other people think too much either, lots of people have long distance relationships like this!
basically i think you like this guy, but i think its too early to tell if you love him. your OCD is making you obsess about aspects of the relationship. if he makes you happy and you like the relationship just take it from day to day.when you get anxious be kind to yourself, write and share thoughts, then see what your therapist says in a couple of weeks.
i hope some of this helps, take care, you are not alone *hugs*