Try not to fight them, and to just go with it. Otherwise, you are giving in. Try reading different books, I have one by Jonathan Grayson and the OCD workbook. That may help if you aren't able to go to therapy. Education helped me a lot.

Also, I tried to write things down but like you, got very nervous someone would find them. So, I couldn't completely express myself. I wound up throwing out the pages!

thanks, I will try that. Where do you get the book at?

try to find cheap drugs,they are better than nothing,certain older antidepressants are very inexpensive

what meds work best?

First, I think we all need to redefine "normal." If normal means only not having OCD thoughts, then I'd say the entire population is in a lot of trouble and that abnormal is normal. OCD thoughts aren't original. They're just intense and anxiety provoking for those of us with the disease. Everyone has these thoughts on some level. They just don't make everyone else panic. Lamakayin is right about letting the thoughts come. It's the only way. You just have to recognize them and allow them to live along side of you instead of define you. I say that like it's easy, but when I spike, nothing is harder than this. I hope that you can find some comfort, however, in the idea that it can work and with practice you can feel better. Many prayers for you!

I would personally not try any medicine without consulting a physician or therapist. I have heard some drugs can have symptoms that react differently with everyone and you shouldn't stop taking medication without consulting a physician.

Anyway -- the books were at Barnes and Noble, they have lots! I ordered one on Amazon too.

If you feel like writing it down might make you worry that someone would read it, type it out in a document on your computer. That way, you can delete it after getting it all out or you can safely password protect and hide it for your eyes only later. Good luck :)

I understand how it feels to live a life where it seems like there are two yous -- one who deals with the rest of the world, and the other you, who deals with your own mind. I suffer myself from obsessive thoughts of guilt.

I certainly recommend reading, as has been mentioned by others. I am currently reading "Tormenting Thoughts and Secret Rituals", by Ian Osborn, M.D. I got it from the local library.

Also, I have found exercise to be helpful in sometimes helping to releive bad feelings. I like to run myself. I find that about 30-40 minutes of a workout can really make the anxiousness go away.

Best wishes.

look up some books on cognitive behavioral therapy...it may help you out