Hi Jupiter,

I am so glad you are considering doing more intensive treatment for your OCD. OCD is a terrible, terrible monster; you should not have to live your life with this, and you do not have to because there are a lot of things that can help.

I went through an intensive day program for OCD this past October (for about a month) and I would love to share my experience with you. I am not sure if you have any specific questions, so I will just sort of say in general how it was.

The program I attended was about 6 hours per day, 5 days a week, but they also had an evening program that was only a few hours a few times week (I think). It was based on Exposure and Response therapy, but they also incorporated a little bit of some other techniques, like Acceptance and Commitment therapy (this is a mindfulness-based therapy that stresses acceptance of unwanted thoughts and commitment towards pursuing what you value in life- I am not sure if you've heard of it, but I really like this approach).

I was assigned a behavioral specialist who I worked closely with. At the beginning, they sort of interviewed me about my obsessions, worries, anxieties (the place I went to also addressed my social anxiety) and then the team there created a hierarchy of exposures for me. I was "assigned" several exposures to work on at a time...one of my first ones for social anxiety was going up and talking to the staff members, having conversations with them and making eye contact (for example). They had me carry around this little timer and I was to rate my anxiety during the exposure, and then "sit" with the anxiety until my anxiety diminished to a lower level (they did a rating scale of 1-7 and we were supposed to wait til it was a 2-3) and then we were to continue working on our exposures. We also were assigned exposures for "homework" during the evenings.

A lot of the work was individual, since all the people there had different anxieties and obsessions. They were really creative in the way they created the exposures as well. I can give more details of some of my exposures if you'd like- just let me know and I am happy to! In addition to the individual work, we also had group most every day, which was more general and talked about coping skills or some were just process groups where we would just talk.

You also meet with a psychiatrist, as well, to discuss medication options. When I was there, I met with him often, usually once or twice a week, and more often if needed.

There were people there of all ages in the program - some in their twenties, some who had children and were married, and others were older. It was a diverse mix. Just being around the people there made me feel like I was not alone. I also really appreciated that the atmosphere of the place was light and the behavior specialists tried to make it that way (using humor, etc). It really helped because as I am sure you can imagine, doing the exposure work can get really intense.

I do not think I was prepared for how difficult it would be. You literally are facing your fears head on. I admit, when I went, I was not 100% committed to the program. I often struggled to complete my "homework" or engage fully during the days. I think part of it for me was that I was in a deep depression at the time and lacked motivation. I also was away from home, which was difficult (I stayed in an extended stay hotel that had a discount rate for patients). However, I am so glad that I went there. I still definitely struggle with my OCD a lot, and I wish I had been more motivated, as I think I would be in a better place now. Nonetheless, I think it was a good opportunity and I feel fortunate to have had it.

I would greatly encourage you to go. I know it is scary - I was terrified. But I think I was more terrified of continuing to live with this monster, which is what propelled me to give the program a try. I can certainly understand your hesitations about leaving your baby...that would be so difficult as a mother. But if you can think of doing this program for him, so that you can be healthy for him...I am sure he would want that more than anything.

Please, please do let me know if you have any other questions or would like to know anything else about my experience...I am more than happy to share. Feel free to private message me too if you'd like. I know this is a big decision, and am more than happy to help if there's anything I can do.

Hi, I'm sorry you've been struggling with OCD and the added decision-making that comes with it. I also think that whatever you decide to do (intensive outpatient or not), it would be the best decision made by the one who knows his/her situation best. We can't always predict the outcome of our decisions because we don't know and can't compute every factor into the equation. We can only work with what we have and know at the time. In the past, I have struggled with deciding upon a counsellor, what treatment steps to take, how to get help from people and etc...

I think that whatever you decide, you can take relief in the fact that at the time, you worked with what you have and made what you thought was the best decision.

Wherever you are, you have my best wishes.

Thank you, wildflower, for giving me a better idea of what to expect there. I have medicaid, which makes it really tough to find treatment, but I think I may have found a program that would take it. I still have to call and see, which I have been putting off. In fact, I have been putting off targeted treatment for over 10 years! It took me a while to even accept the fact that I have OCD!
The place I found does the treatment four days a week for three hours each day, which doesen't seem too bad.
If they don't take medicaid, I think I will try to work on my own out of a workbook and with my therapist, who I only see once a month. But, I feel like I'm the kind of person who needs the structure of a treatment program.
Thank you also, 75zzz for your kind words.
Having OCD, its easy to sort of doubt myself and what is best for me sometimes and therefore, part of it is that I seek out reasurance from others--the compulsive part I guess.

Also, wildflower, just curious if you still do some of the same techniques you may have learned while there?

Of course, Jupiter. I am happy to help in any way I can. It makes sense you feel hesitant to make a decision...making this decision would be tough for anyone. My own therapist helped me make the decision to go and try it out because as she said, what did I have to lose? Especially if you can get good insurance coverage. I do not think you will regret going and at least trying. It seems like you are very motivated as well, and if you do well with structure, I think being in a program could really help.

Regarding the techniques, I do not do the direct exposure practice I did while there. It would likely be recommended to follow up and continue that on your own once out of the program. However, I think there was a lot I took away from the program and from the experience...it helped immensely to know that I was not alone, that avoiding and giving into the compulsions is never the answer because a new one will come in its place. One thing I do use a lot is acceptance (this comes from the ACT approach I told you about),
that they used a bit in the program and that I have read up more on my own. The idea of accepting the thoughts, rather than fighting them, helps me a lot.

I am not sure if that answers your question...please let me know! And please let me know if you have any other questions.

So it turns out my insurance does not cover the intensive program:( I found another place that specializes in OCD, but I would have to see a student since they don't take my insurance either. I feel hesitant to see a student because I don't want someone younger than me helping me with this. At the same time, maybe I should at least give it a try.
I would also like to go back to my support group that meets twice a month and work on the workbook with my therapist (even though its only once a month). I guess its better than nothing.

I went to a therapist but realized that I know more than him. BUT I kept going and putting all my trust in him. It payed off. Because he gave me another view and approach. I knew that it was a learning relationship so I had nothing to loose. Sometimes I wanted more answers, but OCD is structured in such a way that we have to find some answers on our own. If you have the opportunity to go, try it out. But it remains your choice. J

I am sorry to hear your insurance wouldn't cover the program, Jupiter. That must be disappointing. If I am hearing you correctly, your insurance will cover services with a student...is that right? I can understand your hesitation to have someone younger than you helping you. I think maybe, age might become irrelevant once you're working together, though. And it seems like a younger student, who is motivated and willing to learn, could be really helpful.

Of course, as gJerry said, it is your choice. I hope whatever you choose, you are able to get the help you deserve.

gJerry, it is interesting to hear that your therapy paid off even though it seemed you knew more than your counselor.

I could sense from the beginning they don't know ocd, BUT I wanted to learn how to cope. I asked them to do whatever they thought would help. I was open to any meds, therapy, counselling and many more. Looking back at everything, it was the lessons I got. At a certain stage I asked them straight foward if they knew ocd, and I asked them how many ocd'ers they treated. The answer was not many. I asked them to do their best to help me and they accepted the challenge and I followed the path. At times I said no, sorry not for me. At times I had to listen, because I knew it will pay off...for me. I saw different therapists and everytime I got something no matter how small it was. It all added up throughout my journey to be where I am totday. The trails, the tears, the pain, the laughter...everything was worth it. It took a long time...but paid off. I'm thankful for everything on my path. I was my journey and I'm okay at the end. J