Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) Support Group

Obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD) is a psychiatric disorder, more specifically, an anxiety disorder. OCD is manifested in a variety of forms, but is most commonly characterized by a subject's obsessive (repetitive, distressing, intrusive) thoughts and related compulsions (tasks or rituals) which attempt to neutralize the obsessions.

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Focus on a mistake

Bobby5000
Bobby5000

After 30 years being pretty happy and normal my wife seemingly developed this.  We sold our home, and have had difficulty buying a new one.  I found a beautiful home, a little more than we hoped, I said we can afford this, but ultimately my wife said no, after talking with a couple of people about the cost and another potential problem.  We have had difficulty finding another house to purchase, and my wife has now become depressed and focused on the supposed Big Mistake she made in not buying the house above.  She paints a picture of wondeful happiness had we bought it, blames herself, but anytime we talk about houses, talks about the big mistake she made in not buying this one home due to her stupidity.   She will not or cannot let this go.  

Tired
Tired
I would encourage her to write her feelings in a journal or see a therapist.
Tele med if she doesn't want to do in person right now. To figure out why she feels that way. And how to let it go.
Bobby5000
Bobby5000
She would probably say why do I need a journal I know what I feel. I just need the right house and I never should have sold my house until I found one, never should have sold the house until I found one, never should have sold my house until I found one.
Bobby5000
Bobby5000
We've seen doctors, and she spoke with a counselor but does not seem to want to stick to counseling but instead just persists with blaming herself. Pretty much everyone who sees her gets frustrated talking to her.
jannytheresa
jannytheresa
It sounds like she is ruminating and obsessing over something that she has no control over. Worrying and blaming herself will not fix the problem Is this a typical way that she deals with things? It must be exhausting for both of you. If only she could learn to let go, stop blaming herself and start to problem solve. I have regrets about things that I have done or not done in my past I have no way of knowing what things really would have been like had I made other choices. I've simply had to let them go and move forward. Not sure if your repeating to her that she has no control over the decisions that she made in the past and that she is not to blame will make a difference? Good Luck
Bobby5000
Bobby5000
No, she was not this way in the past. She was in a high-pressure job, handled raising children, and was above average in dealing with life's challenges, and really never had a serious incident of depression even through an illness.

Your analysis is completely correct, but getting her to change her behavior has been hard. On a 1-10 scale in letting things go and moving forward, she's been a 1. People have told her this without any change except their frustration.
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