Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) Support Group
Obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD) is a psychiatric disorder, more specifically, an anxiety disorder. OCD is manifested in a variety of forms, but is most commonly characterized by a subject's obsessive (repetitive, distressing, intrusive) thoughts and related compulsions (tasks or rituals) which attempt to neutralize the obsessions.
I can totally relate. I don't have codependency, but have huge issues with my identity. It is only recently, as these identity issues have become a bigger struggle, that I have begun struggling with harm OCD. I have had OCD for 18 years, but have only started having harm OCD symptoms more recently.
I can understand that you feel panicked and are questioning whether or not you are a good person. I can assure you that this is just the OCD making you doubt and second guess yourself. I wish I had the source, but I actually think I read this in a few different places, but individuals with OCD, particularly harm OCD, are most often extremely caring, responsible, and compassionate individuals. In fact, it is the fact that we care for others so much that causes us to start worrying about harming others in the first place...damn OCD always seems to know just what buttons to press to upset us the most.
I wish I could give you advice, but like I said, I am very much in the same boat as you right now. Just keep reminding yourself that you are a good person and that it is the OCD that is making you doubt this. You have a good soul and a good heart...don't let OCD convince you otherwise!