Obesity Support Group

This community is dedicated to those of us struggling with obesity. Obesity is thought to be a significant risk factor in certain health conditions, leading to increased mortality. Find the support you need by sharing your story, asking questions, and learning from others on how they have coped.

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Lyds85 05/19/2012

So, I work as an infant and toddler caregiver at a high quality children's academy (which means all the parents are well to do, and most of them are doctors and lawyers) Most of the parents are very nice and respectful to me, but ive had a couple parents treat me like crap and i got the feeling it was because of my weight, It was never just blatently obvious so ive always just sucked it up and moved on.
Currently, Ive had problems with one mother in particular. To begin with, her baby is a little bit chubby (but not fat by any means) and often times i would hear her making remarks about how fat her baby is and she needs to lose weight shes too fat, etc. I let it slide the first couple times though. One day her baby was eating a lot and she told one of the teachers to feed her less. "You can't be obese or they wont let you fly in airplanes" she said. At this point, id had enough. I let my Director know what she had said and she talked to the mother. The mother apoligized to me, which was awkward. I didnt want an apoligy really, just wanted the comments to stop.
The comments have stopped but now I have noticed her staring at me in discust. The first couple times i thought well maybe its just in my head. But yesterday i was bending over to pick up her baby and out of the corner of my eye i saw her staring at my legs in dicust. I just wanted to tell her "yeah i have fat legs huh?!" Or "Do you have a problem with my legs?"
I just dont understand what her deal is. I also just want to tell her Why do you even care that im fat? I take damn good care of your child and all you care about is that im fat.
I dont want to tell my director on her again, i dont want to say anything else about it, but i just wish she would stop being so ignorant. I feel like half the parents either stare at me or completly ignore me. Ive gotten to where i just want to quit my job and stay home and never leave the house. But i know i cant do that. It just hurts though you know? No one wants to get to know me because im fat.

deleted_user 05/19/2012

I know exactly how you feel. I feel like I get treated differently because of my weight too. I actually hopped around a few jobs because of it too (and I also have no backbone, so when things get tough I can stand up for myself). For example, I worked at an animal hospital for about a year, and I was treated so badly. And I know it was because of my weight. I knew that if I was 100 pounds lighter, things might of been better, which is sad that my weight effects how people treat me. I remember I was a work one day and this girl (same job title as me, but skinnier) was in with a vet tech playing with a dog. Then I went in, and the vet tech went up to me and said "uh, this isnt a break room, you cant just hang in here all day." I was like wtf! So i just sucked it up and went over to pet the dog goodbye and then she said "Don't touch the dog, its sick." Let alone the other girl was in there before playing with me. And thats not the worst of everything. But I did feel I got picked on, even if it wasn't directly calling me name. I quit and worked in retail in a plus size store. I though working there I wouldnt b pick on that much. Of course my manager was stick thin, and she always brought of my weight and stuff. She was like "well customers wont listen to me because im skinny, but u can relate to them." And just stuff like that. I quit that job after two weeks it got so bad. When I was job searching, I always felt better when the person interviewing me was on the heavier side, so they couldnt pick on me for it. Now I work at another store and theres a bunch of people working there. Every shape and size, and people actually respect me for me, not my size. Don't get me wrong, I plan on losing weight because once im done with college and want to find a full time job in my feild, I want to be on the lighter side, because, as u said, people are ignorant. I congrats you for not leaving like I did. Don't let something like that make u want to quit. If you love your job, stick with it, and take the bull by the horns :) Best wishes!

deleted_user 05/19/2012

Its a sad but true fact that you do get treated differently based on wieght. I had avery hard time fitting in and and gaining respect at various jobs I worked at because I was almost 300 lbs. Now I am 166 lbs and people treat me so differenly. i don;t even have to work at gaining respect or fitting in. It feels nice now, but it makes me sad to think that I was the SAME EXACT person 117 lbs ago but people are too blinded by looks to see it...

Snippy 05/20/2012

It would be a perfect world if we were seen for ourselves. I use to work in ICU and I had a guy tell me that he hope if he needed CPR I wasn't on his chest pumping cause I would kill him. I was s mad I told him that I hoped not to cause I would let him die. I thought he would report me but he didn't.

Snippy 05/20/2012

AI know it was mean,but "what the hell"

eekrss 05/20/2012

All people have prejudices. It sucks when they are about you, but lets be honest, you quitting your job doesn't change anything, except that you leave your job. Be the best you can be and hopefully she will stop being such a idiot. If not it is just one person who dislikes people being fat, it sounds like the rest of the parents aren't bothered by it. Don't let one person ruin your workplace. Focus on the positive and the people you like, and ignore her.

deleted_user 05/21/2012

Is there any way you can avoid this person? She is at least a customer rather than a colleague. Can someone else be in charge of handing back her son at the end of the day? As long as you are clean and tidy and work hard, nobody has any right to say a word against you.

Maybe I am lucky or maybe just very unobservant but I have never noticed anyone treating me any differently because of my weight.

When you say 'no one wants to get to know me because I'm fat', are you sure it isn't the other way round? Rather than other people not wanting to know you, could it be that you don't want to know them, because you are feeling down about yourself and that makes you more reticent and shy? So maybe what needs to change is not your weight per se but your self esteem and self confidence.

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