This is an important topic. There is always a payoff.

If I stay fat:

1. I don't have to buy a new wardrobe
2. I don't have to have my rings sized.
3. I won't possibly get attention from men
who I might be attracted to and have to
choose whether to act on it.
4. I can continue to use it as an excuse to
stay in my current relationship and job.
5. I can continue being too tired and
immobile to get out there and be active.
6. I don't have to face the cattiness of
jealous friends.
7. I can remain in my fat identity I've had
for so long.
8. I can overeat and gorge all the time.
That is what fat people do. We "can't
help it".

those are some good ones. I'm adding them to my list.

I won't have to watch what I eat if I stay fat. I can just eat and eat all the things I like and drink all the soda I want.

I worry about loose skin, but I try to tell myself that I would rather have loose skin than being fat. Truth is I wish I could have both.

I am adding: I can continue to be lazy about my housework and use my lack of energy as an excuse.
I have an excuse for dealing with people; not alot of people want to spend time with really fat people.

1. I can eat whatever I want in order to not face my own reality I have created by being fat.
2. I can use my size as a tool to avoid sex...(and intimacy with men)
3. I avoid all the mens stares, that thin women get...
4. I get the real love of my life ....chocolate!
5. I don't have to worry about gaining 5lbs.. it's not noticable...
6. I lyingly tell my self that having stress marks is sexy...(not)
7. i get to avoid all the pyhsical activity I want..
8. I get to have a knee replacement by the time I am 40
9. By the time I am 30 (25 now) I will have full blown Diabetes...

One more: I'm the only woman I know who can go into a bar and not get hit on.

Wow --- why are you making a list of payoffs for staying heavy? Maybe you should make a list of why you should STOP overeating.

because we need to recognize what has been our payoff all these years that has kept us in this cycle of abusing our bodies. We cannot change what we do not acknowledge.

Obviously they don't get that by us making these replys it helps us to see what has been holdong us back.. It seems senseless but it also is the truth but with sarcasism involved....

I want to cry now... Ladies this is painful but i admire you all... so i'm usually sarcastic too, so here go mine:
1. my kids can continue giving me foot massages at night
2. i can wake up at 4am and make pancakes for my kids in the summer and have one too

I understand WHY you are making this list but if you put too much energy into payoffs for the negative behavior and not enough into why you should stop the behavior then it will only make it harder to stop. You need to make a list of positive payoffs you will receive once you stop the negative behaviors. This will help a person to become motivated to move forward. This is all I was trying to say.

There actually is a list of positive payoffs.. it's under reasons to lose weight....

Many times we do not understand why we continue to do self-destructive things. In order to stop doing them, it is VERY helpful to figure out what we are getting out of them in the first place.

I don't think anyone posting here is putting too much energy into the payoffs of staying fat...we are trying to be AWARE of the payoffs so we can defuse them and deal with them.

Like the last person commenting said, there is a nice long list of the reasons we want to lose weight on another discussion thread. Have you checked that thread out?

Of course, it is very important to focus on our goals...but we should also be aware of what has been holding us back.

I agree completely with the last comment.... Can I get an amen! ..lol

Another important reason to list our payoffs is that only then can we see the gap between our current payoffs and where we want to be. We can't go in both directions, so by looking at our payoffs we can see if we want to go in the same direction or we can make a conscious choice to move the other direction towards what we really want. For me i look at both lists and I realize that my payoffs pale in comparison to what I really want. Then it is easier for me to say "No, I'm not going to eat when I need comfort because there's someplace else I can find it, and something better waiting for me. As I said before, you cannot change what you do not acknowledge.