
Obesity Support Group
This community is dedicated to those of us struggling with obesity. Obesity is thought to be a significant risk factor in certain health conditions, leading to increased mortality. Find the support you need by sharing your story, asking questions, and learning from others on how they have coped.

caruTH
I am a big girl, 320 lbs 5'1" to be exact, and have found in the last 9 months that there are men that like girls my size and find me attractive. Sometimes it is flattering, but I don't like myself this size and I don't really want a man to like me because of what I look like anyway. (Even if I was skinny I would feel that way.) Why can't a man just like me for who I am and then realize they are attracted to me? I would like to hear from both men and women on this. Has this happened to you? Your feelings on the issue. Any advice on how to deal with it and how to know whether the guy is sincere about liking me or just attracted to what I look like.
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You're right, the opposite sex generally pays more attention to the body before they even consider your personality, good heart or any of the positive things about you. Wonder if it'll ever change. If he likes you, really likes you, he'll introduce you to his friends. If he wants a date, suggest a double date with his best friend.
I happen to like tall men and dark hair / complexion.... men who have that look will catch my eye faster than ones who look different.
BUT - that's all. When you get to know someone - it changes HOW you see them - and a cute guy who is my type who is a jerk - slowley becomes ugly when i look at him.
Also - a guy that didn't particularly attract me at first sight - may drive me obsessive crazy once i get to know him.
Your attracted to certain looks, and certain traits. Sometimes the way things look on the outside gives clues to how someone is on the inside - like how they dress or thier sence of style. Sometimes it's off - and you just cant tell or dont know.
Taking the time to get to know someone is the main thing. Attraction is a lot more than just looks - at least the kind of attraction that relationships are built on.
People change in taste also / in what they are attracted to.
Looks will always affect how people look at you, judge you...but they only take you so far.
You may love to look at a perfectly designed modern home that is as beautifull as a palace or museam....... whatever....
but you'd never want to live there. You want to live in a cozy, comfortable house that feels like home.
Some things that catch your eye - only catch your eye for a minute and then you move on to the rest.
If a guy only likes you because you are a certain weight (whether it's large or small) - he will usually be really vocal about it / open about it. Bring it up sooner rather than later - and you will get a feel for how they are.
Sometimes people are also just afraid of thier other losing weight - because they are afraid that you will become more attractive to others - and you will leave them for another.
Anyone who really loves you will want you to be happy first - and a happy confident you will be the most attractive you - no matter what "look" they like.
People may not want to believe this but Everything in the world thats visible has a design and we pick up pens, art work, clothes, purchase food meals from menus, buy cars, and houses, and the ones we settle for are the ones that look right to start with, then we check out the inside. Five items in front of us that all do the same thing... we will choose the one that is most appealing visually.
We are always going to our own worse critic such as in looks, weight, intelligence and so on. But if you are really down on yourself I tend to believe that you become pretty suspicious of someones intentions. Therefore if a gentleman seems interested in a girl that is overweight you might read more into it. You might suspect he may think you are easy. But I can say I have been on both sides of the coin before. I have been skinny and overweight and I always trust my gut and have found sometimes I am right on the money about someone but I also have learned to not jump to quick to conclusions as something wonderful might just walk on by.
In saying that I figure it is kind of like playing cards you don't really ever know what hand you are going to get dealt. So best option in my opinion is to keep playing the game as perhaps you might draw an ace. And really the only way you are going to know what a person is truly after is to really get to know them. And most important always be honest with yourself:)
Just be patient and don't be too quick to decide that they are only interested in looks, sometimes we need to just take some time to make these decisions!
God Bless!
Janelle
That is what it comes down to in a mans world.
If he only likes big women, thats because big women turn him on.
If he only likes slim women thats because only slim women turn him on.
If hes not fussy then hes just a male slag.
Its a gamble but youve just got to use your judgement and try and decide whether he is sincere or not. (you will probably only know this after youve slept with him by the way. Dont trust us otherwise because men will say anything to get their leg over)
xxx